Third Dream

I'm not going to tell you about the third dream.

I wrote out a description, which runs about a page, this morning, intending to post it here – then the sense of overexposure began creeping up on me, the idea that I was telling too much. It was set at college, and on a dock with still blue water and several small boats and yachts. It involves a man with a knife, and my friend in Kyrgyzstan, and my high school English teacher; I don't mind telling you about those things.

There's something in this dream that finally relates to me, though – unlike the first or second dreams, which felt like someone else was dreaming them. This dream was more frenetic, more fragmented and generally incoherent than the others, but I think it actually explains a lot more than they do.

The question remaining is why my unconscious is going so far abroad for its material – I’ve been having dreams relating to high school and college more lately than I would expect, and for awhile it made sense, as though these dreams were consolidating things happening to me now and stitching them into my history, but these recent dreams are different. These feel like non sequiturs. Not being able to use my dreams to interpret my emotional state is like suddenly going blind – like I’m an outsider to my own mind.

Now you are, too...again. I'm back inside and leaving you out.

I can tell you that to me this dream made more sense than those did. I’m just not sure I like what it’s telling me.