HFCB Information letter, re: comment, 8/17/08

Mr. Levy,

Thank you for your request for more information on the Hulkamania Fund for Compensating the Bereft. For the past six years, HFCB has sought to be a force for good in a world low on roommates, low on quality time, and most recently (with the national deficit at an all-time high), painfully low on paying for stuff.

The HFCB philosophy has as its foundation two of the world's most tried-and-true relational principles: 1. men like to pay for stuff, and 2. roommates deprived of each other's company require compensatory quality time. All monies provided by the privileged men allowed to "pay for stuff" into the Hulkamania Fund go directly toward providing the kind of quality time associated with the women of Mellinger C101. Their low-key creativity often leads to spending days in, such as Jane Austen Weekend, or to taking their friendships on the road, to the moderately priced El Sombrero Mexican Restaurant or to Ocean City, MD.

It is their frugality that allows HFCB to keep costs, and rates, miraculously low. For each hour of deprivation, roommates request only $.05 in compensatory fees. This rate has remained stable throughout the history of HFCB and even despite the recent market fluctuations, and there are no plans to raise it.

If the rate of $.05/hour sounds too low to fulfill your desire to pay for stuff, never fear; HFCB can provide you with an exciting new opportunity to empty your wallet. Thanks to a tragic fall from atop a high bookshelf three years ago, the beloved Hulkamania Stein -- both symbol and bank for HFCB -- shattered into several pieces. The damage was irreparable. HFCB members, grieved over the loss, recently declared the period of mourning over and formed the Restore-the-Stein Fund, a nonprofit entity within our all-for-profit organization, intended to raise money for the purchase of a new Hulkamania Stein.

Little did we know when the original Hulkamania Stein came into our lives, what the future would hold. Now, six years later, the Hulkamania Fund for Compensating the Bereft is stronger than ever: instituting annual business meetings, ensuring that all roommates are able to engage in quality time with each other, and helping men everywhere -- or at least in our little corners of the world -- to fulfill their desire to pay for stuff.

Peace, and may the Hulk be with you.

Alicia Watkins
President
Hulkamania Fund for Compensating the Bereft

P.S. -- Per your question of August, Mr. Levy, the hourly rate may never be doubled by the presence of two roommates at once. The compensatory fee is rendered unnecessary in that instance since the roommates are together.