In a Minima

Clearly, Minima is the best choice of blog template. That's all I'll say on the matter.

Any second now, a pop-up box is going to spring into view (for me, writing this, not for you reading it) that will indicate that the Spyware on this computer is stealing my email passwords, credit card numbers, identity and possibly soul, but that I can prevent this from happening by way of purchasing a year's subscription to some anti-Spyware protection company's product (presumably using the credit card numbers that may have already been sucked from the hard drive, or wherever they suppose I am storing them). This company's product had been previously installed on the computer on a free-trial basis, and the trial period has now expired; as a result, the software will inform anyone present upon turning on the computer that it can scan for viruses...but that it cannot delete them, or do whatever it does to get rid of them, unless you purchase the subscription.

The danger is obvious to anyone who is not colorblind (especially red-green colorblindness would limit understanding of this color scale): as with our national colorific terror alerts, the level of freak-out that should be inspired by each of the viruses found and named--though not eliminated--never gets below a bright orange.

Of course, it urges you as a decent human being to act now before your computer (and subsequently, your life) is completely destroyed. After all, it's sick! Your computer needs serious, immediate attention! You knew you were taking on this responsibility when you GOT the computer, and now you won't take necessary steps to prevent its untimely death--for shame. It's like letting your dog die of cancer because you just wouldn't spring for the operation.

In order to get past this Spyware notice, which takes up about fifty percent of the screen, directly in front of whatever you're doing, you can choose one of two options: "Get Full Version of S-S now!" or "Continue Unprotected." That's right; it's a shame tactic, meant to allow only the most belligerent of computer users through to freedom (to lose money, self, and soul).

Guess which one I chose.