Confessions

Here are some ways in which I have failed the universe.

I enjoy the movie “Ever After,” despite its ridiculous plot and Drew Barrymore’s even-more-ridiculous attempt at an accent. I assume that this is due to some sort of flaw in my character but do not bother to try to correct it.

I once (unthinkingly) used Chinglish to call someone “a fascist pig,” using the Chinese word for pig, zhu, which is pronounced, roughly, “jew.” I therefore ended up saying something like “you fascist Jew.”

I once quoted (or tried to quote) Homer Simpson saying “Sure I’m stupid…stupid like a FOX!” in front of a man named John Fox, who was not familiar with the Simpsons, nor with me. He thought I was calling him stupid.

That’s all for now.