How it works: Unlike previous quantifiable living scales, the "levels of cleanliness" scale is meant to quantify how clean or dirty something is, within a certain range (rather than by absolute value). Rather than units of measure, cleanliness can be described using the following rubric.
In a pinch, this scale is equally useful for describing how physically soiled an object is and how "dirty" it is in terms of psychologically maladaptive or sexual content.
Most objects fall between Levels 3 and 4, making Level 3.5 a neutral pH for the scale.
Level 0: You can perform surgery on it.
Level 1: You can eat off it.
Level 2: You can show it to your Grandma.
Level 3: You can touch it.
Level 4: You can touch it, but you should wash your hands afterward.
Level 5: You shouldn't touch it.
Level 6: Looking at it makes you physically ill.
Level 66: Looking at it gives you recurring nightmares.
Level 666: After looking at a picture of it, you yourself become Level 6. (Other people become physically ill when they look at you.)
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2 comments:
Awesome. Except that my Nunna is the queen of Level 0. That woman's vacuum is an extension of her arm.
My house is currently Level 4-5. I decided to finally finish unpacking. It has to get worse before it can get better, right? And . . . um, my cat was upset that I let a friend bring a dog into the house and she peed somewhere and I can't find it (but CAN smell it . . . ) UGH!
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