What I sent my sister.

Deanna,

No problem on the delay -- I figured the holidays were hectic, and I've been busy myself.

It's hard to decide where to start in describing myself, and I've been thinking about how to reply since I got your email. I'm 27, and my birthday is August 23, making me by most calendars also a Virgo (some say I'm Leo), though I don't really pay much attention to horoscopes. Especially growing up, I went to church a lot and was a very serious Christian. I still am, though I spend my Sundays now up in Boston rather than in church.

I moved back to Connecticut to be near family this year, and planned on leaving at the beginning of the 08-09 school year (so last September) to attend whatever grad school I got into. I applied to two last year and was accepted to both, but one was in L.A. -- I decided I didn't want to move there -- and UCONN didn't have any scholarship money this year. (I didn't really want to stick around CT anyway.) I decided to apply to schools near Boston this year, since one of my friends from college is teaching there now, but I've also applied to NYU because even though I hate New York City, they had the program I wanted and excellent scholarships for everyone who's accepted to a PhD program.

What I'm hoping to study is cultural studies, mostly related to media and television. I'd basically watch a lot of TV and write papers about it. I'm hoping to work in a think tank, though that might not be as fun as I think it would be. I'm glad to hear that you love your job -- I worked at a CVS in high school and a few summers in college, and it is kind of satisfying work, since you get to deal with people (who are unpredictable and interesting) and also put things in order, which I like to do. You wouldn't know it to look at my apartment, though, which is a disaster area. I pretty much only use table space for piling stuff on.

I don't know what my mom told you about my history, but before I moved back here (in August of 07), I actually lived and worked in DC for two years. I loved the city. I lived in Columbia Heights, which is now all built up with condos and shopping centers, and worked as a full-time volunteer with the Mennonite Voluntary Service (and Americorps) as a GED instructor. It was a great job the first year, but the second year a lot of things changed and I didn't like it as much. Before that, I taught English in China for two years, the first year to elementary-high schoolers and the second year to college students. I went to China with a team of Americans each year, though a different team each time.

Now I live in my own three-room apartment, which I like very much, though I don't really like Plainville. I went to high school in Plainville, which is exactly as it sounds, but before that I grew up in New Britain, which is more urban. Plainville kids are more suburban and cliquish and had a hard time accepting me being from the city, so I didn't keep many of my friends when I left for college. I went to M****** College, which is near Harrisburg, PA, and got a degree in English (writing) with a minor in teaching English to speakers of other languages. My mom probably told you I studied abroad in England while I was there -- that was really fun. If I could live in England again, I would.

So obviously, I like to travel. I've also been to Mexico (on a short-term missions trip before college), Thailand (for mid-year conferences while in China), Italy and Belgium (while in England), and last spring when I went up to my brother Tyler's wedding in Vermont, two friends and I went up to Montreal. Last summer I drove a loop down to a graduation in DC to visit a friend in TN, then to a wedding in PA -- so I like road trips, too. I'm sure we can schedule some time to meet at some point, though the next month is already packed for me (and winter in New England...yeesh).

Right now I'm working as a job coach for a girl with mental disabilities, which is pretty fun and pays the bills, and I volunteer as a copyeditor for the local paper I used to deliver as a kid. I also write a column, which I'm sure you know by now. That's been pretty fun -- I started interning when I went to a book reading (because I'm a nerd) in the public library basement and was interviewed by the paper's executive editor. He seemed cool, and I hadn't met many cool people in the months I'd lived back here, so I contacted him and asked if the paper could use a volunteer. A few months later, he offered me the column.

I'm glad to hear you're into art and science centers. My housemates in DC and I actually visited the Baltimore Aquarium in the spring or summer of 2007 -- that's kind of weird that you were probably in the city at the same time. I also helped a friend move to Baltimore in the fall of '07. (Baltimore County, actually.) When I was in DC, I didn't go to the museums every week or anything, but my favorite one was actually the Freer and Sackler galleries, which had/have free foreign films almost every week. I'm still on their emailing list, though it doesn't make sense anymore since I can never go. (Eight hours one way is a long time to drive for a free movie.)

My mom probably told you that I cook. I guess I taught myself how when I was in China and wanted to make something that would last a long time (so I wouldn't have to do it again anytime soon), but I started actually enjoying it when I was in DC. I read a lot, and I used to go to the library in my neighborhood and pick out random books, then see what I could learn from them. Once I picked up a biography of a French chef named Bernard Loiseau (sp?), The Perfectionist, which introduced me to the world of haute cuisine. French food is too fancy for me, but in DC I had to cook for my five housemates once a week, which afforded a lot of practice and experimentation. There are a few things I can make really well, most of which are some kind of Mexican food (burritos, black bean dip, etc.) and almost all of those things involve pepper-jack cheese.

I hear that you like to bake. I used to bake a lot more when I was in high school -- peanut butter cookies and cream puffs, for some reason. I go through phases in those sorts of things.

I like all kinds of food, except McDonald's, especially (obviously) Chinese -- REAL Chinese, though, not like the Chinese food you'd get in most places. If we visit, I'll have to bring hot pot mix or the fixings for jiaozi (potstickers). In China, those foods are particularly good for having a party, because they take a long time to prepare and eat, so there's a lot of time for chatting.

Right now, I'm into comic books and independent music, actually. The editor of the paper, who's become a friend, introduced me to both, but I've expanded well beyond his recommendations at this point. And I can't really say "independent music," since that's not really a KIND of music, but I like pretty much everything except country. (Even most bluegrass I like, but not popular country.)

Let's see...what else do I like and dislike?

I hate lima beans and olives, and I like things cooked with garlic, ginger, cumin and cilantro. I hate country music, like I said. I like writing, generally, though sometimes it seems a bit like a chore when I'm on deadline. I generally like my job, which is pretty flexible in terms of what I do most days, but I hate getting up early (it's not even that early -- I leave the house at 8:30 a.m., but I am NOT an early riser), and I hate going to Pizza Hut where my girl has work. (I like pizza, though.) I like reading, though lately I've been watching a lot of movies and TV on DVD instead of reading as much as I might.

I like thinking about stuff, and especially in the last few years I've been more willing to go outside of my interests to learn about new things.

My favorite color used to be blue -- like cornflower blue -- but two or three years ago it switched to orange. I'm not sure what it is now, but I wear a lot of cranberry and red now, which I never used to do, partly because I now have a pair of red glasses that I wear a lot, and because I've finally figured out that I look better in red than most other colors.

That reminds me: my favorite juice is cranberry. I hate grape and apple juices. I used to like orange juice a lot, but when I was in DC, I volunteered for amino acid studies at the NIH that required me to drink a very bitter solution that tasted like orange juice, which I threw up, so I haven't been drinking much orange juice since then. (Kind of a gross story, but the pay was pretty good for those studies, and I didn't take any drugs, just amino acids.)

I don't drink, for reasons that are probably obvious to you, and because I just never felt like starting. I don't smoke or do any kind of drugs -- you know, unless they're prescribed or ibuprofen or allergy meds during allergy season.

I'm allergic to dust and cats, which is sad since I used to have a lot of parakeets. I can't have them anymore, since they create so much dust; even visiting my mom, who took over my bird empire and now has something like ten cockatiels, makes me feel allergic. I also love cats, but if I pet one now I have to wash my hands before I touch my face or clothes. I suppose I could have a dog if I wanted one (and my lease didn't forbid it), but I'm not that interested in dogs. If I did get a dog, it would be a whippet.

Mom's probably told you about my side of my family: two brothers, Tyler and Spencer, both younger. My extended family isn't related, as my mom was taken from her birth parents when she was four; my grandparents were her foster parents for a year, and when I was born, my grandma agreed to be a grandmother to me. I've known this for as long as I can remember, but I've always felt like just a normal grandchild, and I've never questioned my place with her. My grandfather had a harder time adjusting and it's only been in the last few years that he's seemed to feel affection toward me and accept me as his granddaughter. They have two children who I call uncles, and those uncles are married and have kids -- but I don't see that much extended family much, though I live really closeby.

My mom said that your mother had some trouble when you were younger, leading maybe to hospitalization, and that our father raised you for awhile? I may be reading my own experience into that, though -- maybe you can explain the situation more clearly, as I didn't ask my mom any questions about it. It's especially interesting and strange to me to hear that, since (I'm not sure if my mom would've told you) my mom was also hospitalized when I was in middle school and high school. She'd be in for several weeks at a time sometimes, and my brothers and I would either be split up among church people or staying with our grandparents. Her hospitalizations were psychiatric, so it was never clear to outsiders when they'd be coming, though I always saw the signs in advance and began preparing.

It's strange to think about the same situations I went through, which I've deliberately worked through (emotionally) to have a better perspective and be a healthier person, would have happened to you. It's even weirder to think about what it would've been like if we'd had another parent there to watch us while mom was in the hospitals. I just never used to think about having a father when I was younger, like I never thought about how my grandma wasn't really biologically related to me -- I still don't think about it much -- so I never thought "what if he were here?" when we encountered difficulties. Thinking about it now is kind of like figuring out what kind of person I'd be in an alternate universe.

I haven't looked on myspace yet, and I don't have a myspace account (though I am on Facebook), so I haven't seen your picture, but I'm interested that you think we look like each other. People have always told me I look like my mom, and when I look at pictures of her when she was my age, I can see what they mean. I only have one picture of our father, so there's not much to compare to there. But I'll be interested to see your picture.

Congratulations on getting married! I imagine there are a few adjustments to make, there, though I'm also imagining that being together two years before marrying means you may have been living together before(?), so that would be much less adjustment. I'm not involved with anyone right now, and it's only in the last year or so that I've started thinking about actually dating; my focus before that was on getting to the point where I felt like a healthy enough person to be in a relationship. I'm a pretty deep thinker, too, so I don't tend to get into things lightly. It takes a lot to convince me that I'm ready for that kind of risk.

I'm becoming more lighthearted, though, and taking things more as they come. Now that I've been an adult for awhile and had all these different experiences -- it sounds like you have, too, having to adjust to a different life than you'd expected after blowing out your knee -- I'm more confident that I'll be able to handle whatever happens next without having to be a control freak about it. (A lot of my control-freak tendencies come from my childhood and mom being in the hospitals, I think.)

I have lots of experience being an older sister, as do you, I imagine -- or did you grow up with older siblings? I can't really imagine being a middle or younger child.

No problem re: your cell phone. As you can see from the length of my email, here, I like writing -- and since both of our lives are busy these days, it's probably easier to find time to reply than to coordinate time to talk on the phone. I hope you get it fixed, though. I imagine that as manager, you probably get quite a few urgent calls -- but maybe my idea of how hectic a manager's life is has been skewed by how many hours/week the editor of the paper works. (Also 70-hour weeks, I'm afraid.) At any rate, make sure to take care of yourself!

Hmm...I can't think of anything else random that I like or am into right now, but that's probably for the best, anyway. This email is already pages and pages long, I bet. So until next time, I hope you're doing well. Tell Rachel I said hi, if she'd like to hear that, and our nephew, and hi to your husband.

Alicia.