PSA: Connecticut apology

Dear Rest of America,

We were watching, too, last night, when our Senator Lieberman got up and bad-mouthed the Democratic nominee for president, and we want you to know that we were cringing along with you, America, despite our having elected him.

In our defense, we were hoodwinked into it; we thought the slap on the wrist of nominating Ned Lamont would be enough to keep him properly in line. We thought he'd come to heel and toe the line like he should as a representative of a Democratic state.

We were wrong, obviously. He's become uncontrollable. Endorsing a Republican? On our authority? Unconscionable! He's turned into that vicious dog down the street that bites without warning or provocation, unpredictable and way too loud.

We'll put him down at the earliest possible opportunity, but all we can do at this point is offer our apologies.

We're sorry.

Now we'll go to our rooms and think about what we've done.

Shamefully,
Connecticut