My theological goal is achieving a miraculous stupidity.

My favorite passages in the Bible are ones that strike me as funny: God being sarcastic in Job; Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt; the woman in the basket in Zechariah (and the horses that go throughout the earth); the disciples' constant theological pratfalls and gaffes.

My favorite disciple faux pas of all is when, after the miracle of the loaves and fishes feeding the four or five thousand (depending on the gospel), the disciples forget to bring bread on a boat trip with Jesus.

"Beware the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadduccees," Jesus tells them -- probably one among many things he tells them on the trip. I mean, they didn't have Tivo. There was nothing to do but talk, and Jesus was a pretty great storyteller, so he probably did a lot of the entertaining.

But the disciples somehow hadn't gotten the hang of this metaphor/parable thing yet, because when they heard this, they conferred with each other: "It is because we forgot the bread," they said.

You can almost hear them thinking: Uh oh. Jesus is pissed.

Of course Jesus isn't pissed -- yet -- he's talking theology.

When he finds out what they've been whispering about back there near the rudder, or wherever they were on what would have been an absurdly exposed boat (do you honestly think you're hiding, guys?), Jesus reprimands them.

"Guys, come on. I mean, didn't you see that thing I did with the fish?" Jesus says. "Remember that time there were only a few loaves of bread and I made more out of NOTHING? Remember that? Yeah, so what makes you think I'm talking about bread here? Beware the teachings of the Pharisees, is what I meant. Man, you're such doofuses." [This is my paraphrase, because it's fun to paraphrase Jesus.]

But here's the thing that struck me today as I read this post on The Painted Prayerbook: No matter how many times Jesus pointed out that the disciples were stupid, he somehow always still managed to make them feel safe enough to continue to try.

I mean, you can take that whole "Peter, you'll deny me three times" scene as Jesus' rebuke to Peter, but I don't think I do. I hear Jesus saying "Peter, this is how intensely stupid you're about to be -- and I know that -- and it's okay."

I imagine Jesus telling his twelve about the yeast and the teachings, laughing -- the way I laugh with my girl when she does something that looks like an error (like knocks over a bunch of boxes or getting frustrated with herself for not speaking more clearly). I laugh because I love her, and those things are reasons to love her, not reasons to stop.

Good Lord, imagine someone telling you it's okay to be just as stupid or mistaken as you are, and that you can go on being that way without the world ending.

Imagine being able to accept that about yourself, that you would be constantly making mistakes, and in front of the people you most love and want to impress, and that you would survive your stupidity -- and not only that, but live better, and be happier, and take more risks.

It's a kind of choosing to fail.

I think I'm getting it.