Local Trivia: Local City like E.T. game

Tonight we join our intrepid (Democrat) heroes as they battle the forces of (Republican) darkness in their usual place and time, a Common Council meeting in their chambers.

Local City is, for the first time in 20 years, posting a budget deficit -- and no small potatoes at $3 million, possibly $6 million when all is actually accounted for.

Like the title character of Atari's hilariously disastrous E.T. game, Local City can't get out of the hole this year no matter how hard it tries. The deficit was created when Connecticut didn't allocate $3 million in education funds at the beginning of the fiscal year. As one alderman pointed out, cape flaring indignantly behind him, we knew last July that this would happen.

But it's possible that the hole is twice as deep as the mustache-twirling Republicans will admit. The $3 million projected deficit is contingent on the sale of a property that doesn't seem to have a buyer yet -- or if it does, no one's admitting it.

That property is budgeted as a $3 million credit for the current fiscal year...and a $4 million credit for the next fiscal year.

The council apparently discussed this two weeks ago, when the trustworthy sidekick was...well, kicked aside, by a rebuke by the evil mastermind alderman (E.M.A.), who told him to "go to hell."

Or so we all thought, until tonight, when E.M.A. corrected the quote: "I didn't tell you to go to hell -- I told you to rot in hell."

(Oh. Well, alright, then.)

Tonight, our leader Tru-worthy smoldered in righteous anger over the potential $6 million deficit. He called it "double-dipping" (because it was credited for this fiscal year and the next one -- and it will likely sell, if it does, for $3 million, not $7 million). Tru-worthy righteously declared himself opposed to the report.

The corporation counsel informed the Common Council that there was no action to be taken tonight, since, after all, it was just a report. They weren't voting on whether to actually do anything. They were voting on whether to accept the report -- that is, acknowledge that a report existed.

Tru-worthy was unswayed.

"I stand opposed," he uttered. (Righteously.) "And I'd like a roll-call vote."

Capes all a-billow, our hero Democrats each opposed the report, despite its obvious existence, and made a stand for freedom, justice and not depleting the Fund Balance.

Tru-worthy, sensing that the evil lord genius of all (E.L.G.O.A., aka the mayor) was in a weakened state but not quite defeated, delivered the final blow: "I believe this was mismanagement."

Hissing (under his breath) and rolling his eyes (emphatically), E.L.G.O.A. kept his distance until Tru-worthy's time for discussion was over, said into the microphone "It's not double-dipping," then retreated to the next topic.

You may have had the last word this time, E.L.G.O.A., Tru-worthy's steely eyes said, steelily resolved. But next time, when I have my Majority Whip with me, you won't be so lucky...

To be continued in our next edition of Local City council...