Carte Blanche 2: "What is the Punching Philosophy and how can I apply it to my life?"

Excellent question, Jeannette, and I'm glad you asked. (Hint, hint to everyone who hasn't asked a carte blanche question yet.)

There are a few simple principles that make up the foundation of the Punching Philosophy, but it can be summarized in one sentence:

Some people in life need to be punched, for their own good and the good of society.

There are times when calm intellectual discussion is ineffective, usually when the person needing to be punched is so worked up as to be unable to respond on a relevant cognitive level. Similar to the silver-screen slap on the face, a well-placed punch can remind the punchee that his or her behavior is inappropriate and needs to be halted. It should allow the punchee to pause (in shock) and change mental course, engaging the thinking parts of the brain rather than the often-at-fault limbic system.

In these cases, a punch should be thrown, preferably to the face or stomach, in an honest attempt to halt the offending behavior -- or impending dangerous or criminal behavior -- rather than in anger, and should be followed by an explanation as soon as the punchee has recovered his or her faculties enough to understand it.

I've considered myself a pacifist for eight or nine years now, and have been against capital punishment much longer than that, so you might be wondering: Alicia, why do you espouse a philosophy that relies on physical violence for corrective effect?

Well, because nothing else is as effective -- when the situation requires immediate remediation and the punchee is too overwrought to be reasoned with -- and because a reasonable, nonlethal application of force may be a moral high ground when the alternative is psychological manipulation. It could be argued to good effect that I adhere to the punching philosophy because I'm a pacifist. (But I won't argue that here.)

As for applying the Punching Philosophy in your everyday life, my advice is to try to avoid it whenever possible. Try reasoning with potential punchees; if they are able to keep their cool, even an intense disagreement should not be considered cause for Punching Philosophy application. Only when the punchee has become dangerous to self or others, is foaming at the mouth or is actually reaching for you or someone else, should you use the Punching Philosophy.

If you cannot avoid it, try to make the first punch hard enough to shock or knock out: Remember, you're not looking for a fight. You're trying to create an opportunity to work through your problems via discussion. (You're also not looking to break someone's nose.)

Try not to telegraph your punch, as surprise will help your punch to have greater impact.

These and other corollaries to living a nonviolent life have been inspired by "10 Things I Hate About You" and other Shakespeare adaptations.