Apparently, Fox 61 news did a story on the Journal-Register Company's recent declaration of bankruptcy -- using what I can only hope is old B-roll footage of the Herald and Bristol Press newspapers, which are no longer owned by JRC, and not using any footage, old or new, of The Middletown Press, which is still owned by JRC.
I'm not sure what more a viewer can expect of the station that brought us an expose on "girls kissing girls" thanks, they claimed, to Katy Perry's hit song "I Kissed a Girl," which amounted to not much more than an excuse to show, in multiple speeds, all the video imagery they had of New Haven girls kissing other girls, probably on cameraman request.
But I'm told that my front-page tease photo looked good on camera, and now, having reached that pinnacle of simulacra ("on the newspaper on TV"), I "can't help but wonder" -- if the camera adds ten pounds, does print subtract it, somehow?
The only other example of this I can think of is seeing Carrie Bradshaw on the side of a bus on an episode of SatC, but Sarah Jessica Parker is so skinny as to make it impossible to guess her weight in any form: "No, less than that" is my only possible response to any stab at figuring her poundage.
If any of you have seen a picture of yourself shown on TV, feel free to weigh in, here.
Ha ha.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Local Trivia: Wow. Interesting priorities you've got there.
Overheard at local independent coffee shop, a female server:
"I don't have time to fart."
"I don't have time to fart."
PSA: The craptacular Internet
Me: “What should I put on the Internet?”
My girl: “I don’t know.”
Me: “It should be something funny.”
My girl, brightening, then trailing off: “Comics! Like the ones…”
Me: “You mean the funny kind? Like in the paper?”
My girl: “Yeah!”
Me: “Would I have to draw it myself?”
My girl: “No.”
Me: “Where would I get it from?”
My girl: “The paper.”
Me: “How would I get it on the computer?”
My girl: “I don’t know...I hate this crap.”
My girl: “I don’t know.”
Me: “It should be something funny.”
My girl, brightening, then trailing off: “Comics! Like the ones…”
Me: “You mean the funny kind? Like in the paper?”
My girl: “Yeah!”
Me: “Would I have to draw it myself?”
My girl: “No.”
Me: “Where would I get it from?”
My girl: “The paper.”
Me: “How would I get it on the computer?”
My girl: “I don’t know...I hate this crap.”
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Quantifiable Living: Windsor knot-Loneliness scale (for men)
Emotion: Loneliness (men)
Unit of measure: Windsor knot tying tries
How it works: For men, loneliness can be measured in the number of attempts it takes to tie a successful Windsor knot (aWk) in an average necktie, without help.
This scale may count imagined number of attempts rather than actual attempts, and includes attempts gone awry due to distraction as well as those due to confusion over how to tie a Windsor knot in the first place. It also includes attempts otherwise successful that cause the tie to hang at a socially inappropriate length down a man’s chest (too short or too long).
Examples:
You feel an impulse to work out for three hours at the gym: 4 attempts at Windsor knot (aWk)
Your cat has been missing for a week: 9 aWk
You have one acquaintance in the urban area in which you live and no romantic prospects: 17 aWk
Limits: The aWk quantity is partly a function of time, in that each attempt at tying a Windsor knot will take an average number of seconds; thus, the aWk quantity multiplied by time (i.e. 20 seconds) per attempt should not exceed the amount of time allotted to the activity for which one is dressing up.
If the aWk*seconds-per-attempt measure does exceed the time allotted to the social engagement, this may reveal that the man in question feels incapable of even leaving the house due to loneliness, and so may be a helpful measure – though strictly speaking, this is hyperbole and not scientific. The Windsor-knot-loneliness scale cannot accurately measure this depth of loneliness, which is properly called despair, and loneliness exceeding the scale’s limits should be recorded as “∞” or “infinity.”
Elaborations: For older men for whom tying their own necktie has become such a matter of course that they have difficulty imagining getting it wrong, a reasonably accurate alternate measure is the number of attempts to straighten the tied tie in the mirror before being satisfied that it’s straight.
However, to determine the limit of the scale in this case, due to the great range in amount of time it takes to attempt to straighten a tie (2 seconds – several minutes), attempts to straighten should be multiplied if necessary by the average amount of time it takes to tie a Windsor knot, in order to determine if despair (“∞” or “infinity” on the aWk scale) has been reached.
Bolo ties indicate negligible amounts of loneliness or desire for human female companionship, as with cowboys.
The highest levels of loneliness may be measured in bowtie-tying attempts.
Unit of measure: Windsor knot tying tries
How it works: For men, loneliness can be measured in the number of attempts it takes to tie a successful Windsor knot (aWk) in an average necktie, without help.
This scale may count imagined number of attempts rather than actual attempts, and includes attempts gone awry due to distraction as well as those due to confusion over how to tie a Windsor knot in the first place. It also includes attempts otherwise successful that cause the tie to hang at a socially inappropriate length down a man’s chest (too short or too long).
Examples:
You feel an impulse to work out for three hours at the gym: 4 attempts at Windsor knot (aWk)
Your cat has been missing for a week: 9 aWk
You have one acquaintance in the urban area in which you live and no romantic prospects: 17 aWk
Limits: The aWk quantity is partly a function of time, in that each attempt at tying a Windsor knot will take an average number of seconds; thus, the aWk quantity multiplied by time (i.e. 20 seconds) per attempt should not exceed the amount of time allotted to the activity for which one is dressing up.
If the aWk*seconds-per-attempt measure does exceed the time allotted to the social engagement, this may reveal that the man in question feels incapable of even leaving the house due to loneliness, and so may be a helpful measure – though strictly speaking, this is hyperbole and not scientific. The Windsor-knot-loneliness scale cannot accurately measure this depth of loneliness, which is properly called despair, and loneliness exceeding the scale’s limits should be recorded as “∞” or “infinity.”
Elaborations: For older men for whom tying their own necktie has become such a matter of course that they have difficulty imagining getting it wrong, a reasonably accurate alternate measure is the number of attempts to straighten the tied tie in the mirror before being satisfied that it’s straight.
However, to determine the limit of the scale in this case, due to the great range in amount of time it takes to attempt to straighten a tie (2 seconds – several minutes), attempts to straighten should be multiplied if necessary by the average amount of time it takes to tie a Windsor knot, in order to determine if despair (“∞” or “infinity” on the aWk scale) has been reached.
Bolo ties indicate negligible amounts of loneliness or desire for human female companionship, as with cowboys.
The highest levels of loneliness may be measured in bowtie-tying attempts.
Quantifiable Living: Buttons-Loneliness scale (for women)
Emotion: Loneliness (women)
Units of measure: Unbuttoned back buttons
How it works: For women, loneliness can be measured in the number of back buttons left unbuttoned (bbu) by the absence of another person to help button them.
Though in most cases, real-life formalwear includes few or no buttons at the upper back and back of the neck, for the purpose of the scale, a gown that covers the entire back may be imagined. The number of buttons that would be unreachable to a woman wearing the dress while standing up straight, without contorting her arms, bending over or ripping the dress, indicates how lonely she is.
If a woman cannot reach four back buttons without help, she is indicating that she is twice as lonely as if she could not reach two back buttons.
Examples:
You feel an impulse to eat an entire pint of Chunky Monkey: 6 back buttons unbuttoned (bbu)
Your cat has been missing for a week: 14 bbu
You have one acquaintance in the urban area in which you live and no romantic prospects: 26 bbu
For the purpose of the buttons-loneliness scale, the buttons requiring buttoning are average plastic, smooth, flat, pea-sized buttons.
Limits: The bbu quantity should not exceed the number of pea-sized buttons that could possibly fit edge-to-edge across the mid-back to neck of an average-height woman; see elaborations if a higher indicator of loneliness is desired.
Elaborations: Type of dress may be invoked to assist others’ understanding of loneliness levels, though this is usually also measure of social awkwardness and openness to new experiences and meeting new people, rather than of pure loneliness, and so should be cross-referenced with scales for awkwardness and openness, for mathematical accuracy.
A dress revealing the entire back, or involving no buttons, indicates negligible amounts of loneliness: the revealing dress indicates openness to others, while the non-buttoned covered back indicates satisfaction in being alone.
The highest levels of loneliness may be measured in wedding-dress buttons, since a lonely bride (left at the altar, presumably) would likely be experiencing some of the most acute and focused loneliness available.
These levels of loneliness may be accurately measured using only the buttons-loneliness scale because rules regarding how many buttons may fit down an average-height woman’s back, and also how many buttons are deemed “unreachable,” obviously do not apply to wedding dresses. No other scale needs be applied or cross-referenced, though other relevant scales may be applied if desired. Units of measure for wedding-dress buttons are abbreviated “wdbbu.”
Difficulty of buttoning particular types of buttons – fabric-covered round buttons, for instance, rather than smooth plastic – may also be taken into account, using advanced math and the “difficulty of buttoning” scale.
A woman may also indicate that she feels so lonely she feels she cannot reach even buttons well within the grasp of an uncontorted arm, possibly on her lower back.
This may reveal that she feels incapable of even leaving the house due to loneliness, and so may be a helpful measure – though strictly speaking, this is hyperbole and not scientific. The buttons-loneliness scale cannot accurately measure this depth of loneliness, which is properly called despair, and loneliness exceeding the scale’s limits should be recorded as “∞” or “infinity.”
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Local Trivia: Freight train mania
If you're looking to jump a train in central Connecticut, the trainyard in Plainville sends out freight trains that end up at the Berlin train station.
You could park your car there with the help of another train-jumping friend; it's about 20 minutes' drive.
The train ride would be about 40 minutes.
You could park your car there with the help of another train-jumping friend; it's about 20 minutes' drive.
The train ride would be about 40 minutes.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Local Trivia: Plainville criminals are that rare blend of totally stupid and able to drive.
From the newsroom, tales of past Plainville crimes:
A man in Loew's who went around peeing on people.
A drugged up classmate of a sports editor who used his b.b. gun to shoot apple cores at people.
The elderly man who decided to kill his wife, then himself, who stabbed her "until she asked him to stop -- then he said 'okay,' and did."
A man in Loew's who went around peeing on people.
A drugged up classmate of a sports editor who used his b.b. gun to shoot apple cores at people.
The elderly man who decided to kill his wife, then himself, who stabbed her "until she asked him to stop -- then he said 'okay,' and did."
PSA: Joan Stout
"Get your head effectively cleaned after last night."
Huh.
This could mean so many things, I'm not even sure where to begin.
Apply to Joan if you'd like to know.
Huh.
This could mean so many things, I'm not even sure where to begin.
Apply to Joan if you'd like to know.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
PSA: I'm louder like this.
My girl plugs my headphones into the microphone jack in her computer instead of the splitter that allows us both to listen to the movie she's about to watch.
Me: "That's the microphone spot. I won't be able to hear anything."
My girl laughs for ten minutes, and whenever I look over she points to the headphones plugged into the wrong spot.
Me: "I guess I won't be able to watch the movie."
My girl: "I guess not."
Me: "That's the microphone spot. I won't be able to hear anything."
My girl laughs for ten minutes, and whenever I look over she points to the headphones plugged into the wrong spot.
Me: "I guess I won't be able to watch the movie."
My girl: "I guess not."
Local Trivia: If politicians were menu items
The one I couldn't publish:
Mayor Stewart would be a bowl of nuts.
Mayor Stewart would be a bowl of nuts.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Local Trivia: Chimp mauls CT woman
A 15-year-old, 200-lb. chimp named Travis mauled the guest of its owner in Connecticut earlier today, and was shot dead by police. The chimp had been featured in Old Navy and Coca-Cola commercials, and was apparently kept legally by its owner.
About this incident, friend Jennifer remarked:
In a Connecticut twist to an otherwise generic FOX-channel "Animals Gone Wild" incident, the chimp may have been driven crazy by Lyme disease and the medications used to treat it.
In another Connecticut-Gold-Coast twist, the owner also speculated that the chimp may have attacked the owner's friend because she was wearing her hair differently that day.
About this incident, friend Jennifer remarked:
"Too many TV stars keep going [crazy]. They don't think the rules of the ordinary lives of ordinary people apply to them...When they went to shoot him, the chimp promptly shouted 'Do you know who I am?'"Police only shot the chimp after trying to corner him and retreating multiple times, when the chimp opened the door to the police cruiser and began to climb in.
In a Connecticut twist to an otherwise generic FOX-channel "Animals Gone Wild" incident, the chimp may have been driven crazy by Lyme disease and the medications used to treat it.
In another Connecticut-Gold-Coast twist, the owner also speculated that the chimp may have attacked the owner's friend because she was wearing her hair differently that day.
PSA: TV still turned on
All the channels I normally get are still on-air as analog signals. They are, namely:
FOX 61
Used-to-be-WB 59
NBC 30
PBS 24
CW 20
Univision 18
ABC 8
CBS 3
FOX 61
Used-to-be-WB 59
NBC 30
PBS 24
CW 20
Univision 18
ABC 8
CBS 3
Monday, February 16, 2009
PSA: Democrats.com in need of new copyeditor
Subj: "Tell Congress we're in favor of single payer heatlh care"
PSA: TV still works
Well, my rabbit-eared television is still spewing forth the same stuff it has been for years, minus West Wing.
D-day for my TV may still be scheduled for tomorrow, though, despite Congress's vote to put off the switch until June 12. Over 500 stations have decided to keep the original switch date.
I'll let you know how it goes.
D-day for my TV may still be scheduled for tomorrow, though, despite Congress's vote to put off the switch until June 12. Over 500 stations have decided to keep the original switch date.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Don't tell me. Seriously, don't.
I still have not come across any news item or conversation indicating which team won the Superbowl this year.
PSA: Why Oscar movie contenders are always in the inconvenient stage between theaters and DVD
First, I believe that studios release films they believe will be Oscar contenders so that the blackout period between silver screen and widescreen falls over Oscar night.
I believe they do this because they understand the Academy and its vagaries.
The problem is one of primary concern during and memory of the viewing of the movie.
Around Oscar time, Academy members must be thinking "is this an Oscar-worthy movie?" in that last-minute panic of a teenager who hasn't quite finished his homework five minutes before class. I imagine it cuts down on the ability to judge objectively ("I'll write an essay on how the Friday the 13th movies are just like Far From the Madding Crowd!") and makes the faded memories of movies that came out earlier in the year even more distant ("I don't have time to consult my notes -- this one's good enough!").
But having a movie out in the theater during the Oscars is also a problem, in case you have Academy members who are "serious" about their "choice." They might do actual research if given the chance, and see the movie multiple times. If they do so, they might realize that it doesn't hold up to multiple viewings, where another movie might. All the worse if the movie is already out on DVD, away from the glamour and overwhelming nature of the big screen, and available for a thousand viewings including commentary tracks.
So there's the panic factor, which is the whole raison d'etre for timing.
There's also the basic thematic content factor, which is what most people talk about when they talk about "Oscar-worthy" films.
The trick to getting an Oscar, in other words, like the trick to writing a best-selling nonfiction book (Abraham Lincoln + puppies), is more about the scanability of the major themes in hectic once-overs than about the movie itself:
They should make vague gestures toward gravitas -- the Holocaust is often a winner, or, failing that, war in general (though in that order: Schindler's List's "Best Picture" vs. Saving Private Ryan's "Best Director") -- but not say anything that could be intelligently disagreed-with ("war is bad," "the Holocaust was bad," or exceptionally, "the Holocaust was bittersweetly funny and Italian").
Winning themes should appear to be controversial without actually being controversial. (Remember Crash? "Racism is bad"? Cutting edge stuff, there.)
All the better if they feature an actor who's been nominated several times but not won; Hollywood loves an underdog, even one it's created itself.
In other words, Kate Winslet as a nun during the Holocaust, released over Christmas? Gold.
I believe they do this because they understand the Academy and its vagaries.
The problem is one of primary concern during and memory of the viewing of the movie.
Around Oscar time, Academy members must be thinking "is this an Oscar-worthy movie?" in that last-minute panic of a teenager who hasn't quite finished his homework five minutes before class. I imagine it cuts down on the ability to judge objectively ("I'll write an essay on how the Friday the 13th movies are just like Far From the Madding Crowd!") and makes the faded memories of movies that came out earlier in the year even more distant ("I don't have time to consult my notes -- this one's good enough!").
But having a movie out in the theater during the Oscars is also a problem, in case you have Academy members who are "serious" about their "choice." They might do actual research if given the chance, and see the movie multiple times. If they do so, they might realize that it doesn't hold up to multiple viewings, where another movie might. All the worse if the movie is already out on DVD, away from the glamour and overwhelming nature of the big screen, and available for a thousand viewings including commentary tracks.
So there's the panic factor, which is the whole raison d'etre for timing.
There's also the basic thematic content factor, which is what most people talk about when they talk about "Oscar-worthy" films.
The trick to getting an Oscar, in other words, like the trick to writing a best-selling nonfiction book (Abraham Lincoln + puppies), is more about the scanability of the major themes in hectic once-overs than about the movie itself:
They should make vague gestures toward gravitas -- the Holocaust is often a winner, or, failing that, war in general (though in that order: Schindler's List's "Best Picture" vs. Saving Private Ryan's "Best Director") -- but not say anything that could be intelligently disagreed-with ("war is bad," "the Holocaust was bad," or exceptionally, "the Holocaust was bittersweetly funny and Italian").
Winning themes should appear to be controversial without actually being controversial. (Remember Crash? "Racism is bad"? Cutting edge stuff, there.)
All the better if they feature an actor who's been nominated several times but not won; Hollywood loves an underdog, even one it's created itself.
In other words, Kate Winslet as a nun during the Holocaust, released over Christmas? Gold.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Confessions XXX
I've never been to a strip club or other locale where people take off their clothes for money, but if I were invisible, I would go; I'm fascinated by the whole "scene."
I think the idea of a Brazilian wax is obscene.
I went to the free clinic in New Britain before going to China to have a test for syphilis (required for the visa), and when I answered the woman's question of when I'd last been sexually active ("never"), she told me I probably shouldn't be using the clinic's resources. But if I had to, I would again.
I think the idea of a Brazilian wax is obscene.
I went to the free clinic in New Britain before going to China to have a test for syphilis (required for the visa), and when I answered the woman's question of when I'd last been sexually active ("never"), she told me I probably shouldn't be using the clinic's resources. But if I had to, I would again.
PSA: Friday the 13th, dumplings in numbers
Number of people at the dumpling party: 6
Number of additional people possibly coming: 5
Number of those additional people I assumed were bleeding out in a parking lot somewhere: 1
Number of the potentially bleeding people who were actually napping: 1
Pounds of ground pork used for dumpling mix: 1.97
Pounds of ground pork thrown away thanks to freezer burn and mysterious "Sell by May 20" (year unmarked): 1.47
Cups of Chinese cabbage used for dumpling mix: 5
Number of ingredients I chopped up for dumpling mix: 2
Number of ingredients I minced: 2
Number of packages of A Dong jiaozi wrappers used to wrap these dumplings: 2.7
Number of dumplings consumed last night: ??
Number of dumplings I likely consumed: about 10
Number of dumplings leftover in the pot after everyone was full: 1
Number of dumplings made from leftover mix, wrapped by me at 8 o'clock this morning: 66
Number of those dumplings I pan-friend for brunch: 16
Number of dumplings left after that, for those bad at math: 50
Number of meals I can get out of 50 leftover dumplings: 4-5
Number of additional people possibly coming: 5
Number of those additional people I assumed were bleeding out in a parking lot somewhere: 1
Number of the potentially bleeding people who were actually napping: 1
Pounds of ground pork used for dumpling mix: 1.97
Pounds of ground pork thrown away thanks to freezer burn and mysterious "Sell by May 20" (year unmarked): 1.47
Cups of Chinese cabbage used for dumpling mix: 5
Number of ingredients I chopped up for dumpling mix: 2
Number of ingredients I minced: 2
Number of packages of A Dong jiaozi wrappers used to wrap these dumplings: 2.7
Number of dumplings consumed last night: ??
Number of dumplings I likely consumed: about 10
Number of dumplings leftover in the pot after everyone was full: 1
Number of dumplings made from leftover mix, wrapped by me at 8 o'clock this morning: 66
Number of those dumplings I pan-friend for brunch: 16
Number of dumplings left after that, for those bad at math: 50
Number of meals I can get out of 50 leftover dumplings: 4-5
Friday, February 13, 2009
PSA: Just a few of the many situations that could conceivably be helped by setting even a small fire.
You're at a cookout.
You're freezing on a snowy mountaintop somewhere and it's getting dark.
You hate the school photos of you from eighth grade.
You've been indicted in some kind of fraud scandal and have been storing all the "evidence" in a large metal drum.
You can't find a parking space at the mall.
You're freezing on a snowy mountaintop somewhere and it's getting dark.
You hate the school photos of you from eighth grade.
You've been indicted in some kind of fraud scandal and have been storing all the "evidence" in a large metal drum.
You can't find a parking space at the mall.
PSA: Situations in which it wouldn't be helpful to set something on fire
There's a videotape caught in the VCR.
You're unable to read an email due to server malfunction.
Old Yeller is rabid and you're at the store attempting to purchase a shotgun to take care of it. The cashier is already eyeing you suspiciously.
You're unable to read an email due to server malfunction.
Old Yeller is rabid and you're at the store attempting to purchase a shotgun to take care of it. The cashier is already eyeing you suspiciously.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
PSA: Conferencing
Today and tomorrow, I'll be up at Brandeis going to lectures.
If I see anything funny or interesting, I'll blog it. Eventually.
If anyone sees anything I should have an opinion on, comment and I'll form one.
Also, if any of you have been hankering to have an emotion quantified, let me know. I'm a month behind on Quantifiable Living.
If I see anything funny or interesting, I'll blog it. Eventually.
If anyone sees anything I should have an opinion on, comment and I'll form one.
Also, if any of you have been hankering to have an emotion quantified, let me know. I'm a month behind on Quantifiable Living.
PSA: Mullet puts relationship a hair's-breadth from breakup.
Me to PC: "I wouldn't want you to grow a mullet. I mean, a mullet isn't a dealbreaker. I wouldn't break up with you over a mullet -- but I would want to."
Monday, February 9, 2009
Local Trivia: Someone call Al Gore, re: global warming and migratory patterns
Observed: Yesterday, a pair of Canada geese returning to the Farmington River
Today, a robin sighting in Cheshire, CT.
Tomorrow, The Birds.
Today, a robin sighting in Cheshire, CT.
Tomorrow, The Birds.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Local Trivia: Sounds like sitcom dialogue, but makes (marginally) less sense
Overheard, Sunday brunch at Farmington Valley restaurant:
Young woman, trying to get older woman to try something from her plate: "It's just one tiny piece, Eleanor."
Older woman: "I know...just don't ask me to scramble your eggs."
Young woman: "Oh, Eleanor. Some things never change." [Laughter around the table.]
Young woman, trying to get older woman to try something from her plate: "It's just one tiny piece, Eleanor."
Older woman: "I know...just don't ask me to scramble your eggs."
Young woman: "Oh, Eleanor. Some things never change." [Laughter around the table.]
Local Trivia: Midnight OCD-like car-cleaning = double homicide?
Last night, walking around in my crazily warm neighborhood, PC and I noticed the DIY carwash being used by a woman with an SUV, past midnight.
Returning to my apartment, we saw another SUV owner apparently also cleaning the car in his garage.
Both car-cleaners had a certain manic quality I couldn't quite place except as a "well, they live in Plainville" desperation. But if this were a movie or an episode of CSI, well, clearly they would have been cleaning off blood. And we probably would have stumbled across the bodies still in the street.
We didn't, though, so they probably didn't kill anyone.
Unless they also watch movies or CSI and thus know better than to leave the bodies out.
I suppose we'll never really know.
Returning to my apartment, we saw another SUV owner apparently also cleaning the car in his garage.
Both car-cleaners had a certain manic quality I couldn't quite place except as a "well, they live in Plainville" desperation. But if this were a movie or an episode of CSI, well, clearly they would have been cleaning off blood. And we probably would have stumbled across the bodies still in the street.
We didn't, though, so they probably didn't kill anyone.
Unless they also watch movies or CSI and thus know better than to leave the bodies out.
I suppose we'll never really know.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
PSA: Things that seem like really good ideas, but aren't.
Tube socks
Three-strikes laws
Rating your friends by place-number ("you're my first-best friend; you're my second-best friend; etc.")
Hitchhiking through Texas
Cutco knives
Selling Cutco knives
Flat tax
Three-strikes laws
Rating your friends by place-number ("you're my first-best friend; you're my second-best friend; etc.")
Hitchhiking through Texas
Cutco knives
Selling Cutco knives
Flat tax
Friday, February 6, 2009
Unsolicited Advice, IX
If you're happy and you know it, it's better to avoid clapping your hands, randomly, in public -- no matter what that song says.
PSA: Songs for which breaking the mold really worked out
"God Only Knows" -- The Beach Boys
"Time After Time" -- Cyndy Lauper
"Time After Time" -- Cyndy Lauper
Thursday, February 5, 2009
PSA: Alternative Bo(CN)C cartoons
Captain Planet and the Planeteers
Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears
Inspector Gadget
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears
Inspector Gadget
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Breakfast of (Cartoon Network) Champions
Coconut sticky-rice with gummi bear mix-in, and gummi bear garnish
Frosted-Flake and Peep (Christmas tree and Easter tulip) treats
Milk
3 episodes of Thundercats
1. Consume until almost in a diabetic coma, then crash and sleep for two more hours. At least.
2. Repeat.
Frosted-Flake and Peep (Christmas tree and Easter tulip) treats
Milk
3 episodes of Thundercats
1. Consume until almost in a diabetic coma, then crash and sleep for two more hours. At least.
2. Repeat.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
CU, this year
I've decided to give myself a one-week hiatus from Continue Unprotected, whenever I feel like taking it, this year.
The first anniversary is supposed to be paper, after all. So I'll write on paper for that week.
Hope you all have enjoyed year 1. Now go watch some Strongbad emails to amuse yourselves.
The first anniversary is supposed to be paper, after all. So I'll write on paper for that week.
Hope you all have enjoyed year 1. Now go watch some Strongbad emails to amuse yourselves.
PSQ: How to celebrate CU?
A. an ice cream cake, a la "Honey I totaled the car"
B. a homemade pizza
C. Some kind of Lego-man vs. Peeps diorama
D. Other
E. I choose to fail
B. a homemade pizza
C. Some kind of Lego-man vs. Peeps diorama
D. Other
E. I choose to fail
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Mix: Superhero
"Superman (It's Not Easy)" -- Five for Fighting
"Eye In The Sky" -- Alan Parsons Project
"I Need A Hero" -- Bonnie Tyler
"Superhuman" -- Chris Brown
"My Superman" -- Santogold
"Supernatural Superserious" -- R.E.M.
"Super Bon Bon" -- Soul Coughing
"Particle Man" -- They Might Be Giants
"Black Heroes" -- Ratatat
"Supervillian Theme" -- Madvillian
"Heroes And Villians" -- The Beach Boys
"Eye In The Sky" -- Alan Parsons Project
"I Need A Hero" -- Bonnie Tyler
"Superhuman" -- Chris Brown
"My Superman" -- Santogold
"Supernatural Superserious" -- R.E.M.
"Super Bon Bon" -- Soul Coughing
"Particle Man" -- They Might Be Giants
"Black Heroes" -- Ratatat
"Supervillian Theme" -- Madvillian
"Heroes And Villians" -- The Beach Boys
Local Trivia: Goodwill toward me.
Goodwill haul, 1/31/09:
Beaded belt: $2
Nautica, size 4, dark brown corduroy pants: $3
"Careless Whisper" single record, with vocal and instrumental sides: $1
Cranberries tape: $1
Lionel Richie tape: $1
Lime-green fan: $3
Stereo system, including turntable, dual-cassette player, CD player and one speaker: $8
Burned mp3 mix CD including 32 Bob Marley songs and 164 classic rock hits, found inside stereo system: priceless.
Beaded belt: $2
Nautica, size 4, dark brown corduroy pants: $3
"Careless Whisper" single record, with vocal and instrumental sides: $1
Cranberries tape: $1
Lionel Richie tape: $1
Lime-green fan: $3
Stereo system, including turntable, dual-cassette player, CD player and one speaker: $8
Burned mp3 mix CD including 32 Bob Marley songs and 164 classic rock hits, found inside stereo system: priceless.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Challenge: One-yeariversary coming
Well, CU has been going, for what that's worth, for two days short of a year now, and I'm opening it up to suggestions from the three people who read it:
What sort of post celebration shall I prepare?
What sort of post celebration shall I prepare?
PSA: Vika N. in need of lover, or housecleaner
I've been accidentally forwarded an email from Vika N., who indicates s/he's "waiting to be swept off my feet."
Though I make it a point not to open personal emails that aren't intended for me, in these economically repressed times, I thought I'd pass along the opportunity to my friends.
I'll forward the email to you if you'd like to contact Vika re: your skills as a hooker or maid.
Though I make it a point not to open personal emails that aren't intended for me, in these economically repressed times, I thought I'd pass along the opportunity to my friends.
I'll forward the email to you if you'd like to contact Vika re: your skills as a hooker or maid.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
E.T.: Worst. Game. Ever.
I think it's about time I explained about the E.T. room here on CU.
But first, the game: E.T. is cited by many (Internet) sources as the game that singlegamedly caused the downfall of Atari.
It was simply a terrible game. Rushed into production for Christmas during the E.T. craze of '82, the main plot of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial revolved around finding pieces of the telephone that E.T. could "phone home" with. The main action of the game was falling into deep ditches and attempting, usually unsuccessfully, to get out, by levitating E.T.'s slooooowly up to the top of the ditch and pressing a button at the same instant his body reaches the pinnacle of levitation.
Wikipedia suggests it is a myth that more game cartridges were produced than Atari 2600 consoles that existed at the time, but I choose to believe it.
The remaining and returned E.T. games, 2.5 million of which were unsold (out of 4 million), were crushed into a cemented-over landfill in Alamogordo, N.M. in 1983.
I own a copy of this game.
But first, the game: E.T. is cited by many (Internet) sources as the game that singlegamedly caused the downfall of Atari.
It was simply a terrible game. Rushed into production for Christmas during the E.T. craze of '82, the main plot of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial revolved around finding pieces of the telephone that E.T. could "phone home" with. The main action of the game was falling into deep ditches and attempting, usually unsuccessfully, to get out, by levitating E.T.'s slooooowly up to the top of the ditch and pressing a button at the same instant his body reaches the pinnacle of levitation.
Wikipedia suggests it is a myth that more game cartridges were produced than Atari 2600 consoles that existed at the time, but I choose to believe it.
The remaining and returned E.T. games, 2.5 million of which were unsold (out of 4 million), were crushed into a cemented-over landfill in Alamogordo, N.M. in 1983.
I own a copy of this game.
E.T. Room
Okay, folks. This is "master-plan" level stuff.
If I ever have a mansion, or better yet, some kind of huge old abandoned industrial space, or a normal place with an extra room, my plan is to make one large room into "the E.T. room."
The E.T. room will be a testament and ode to human folly.
It will be a celebration, really.
The Atari 2600 E.T. game, as the inspiration for the E.T. room, will be displayed prominently and permanently on the wall -- though I haven't decided whether other human follies should be like rotating exhibits, or also permanent.
Since shadowboxing is the most ridiculous mode of presentation, the E.T. game will, of course, be shadowboxed.
I haven't decided whether the game should actually be played in the E.T. room (except on its inaugural day, when obviously it should) or generally left as a symbol of the incredible history of incredibly bad inventions, designs and ideas that the E.T. room will partially catalogue.
So even though I'm not in the market for real estate, and even though I'm likely moving sometime in the next several months, here's your chance:
What would you put in the E.T. room?
If I ever have a mansion, or better yet, some kind of huge old abandoned industrial space, or a normal place with an extra room, my plan is to make one large room into "the E.T. room."
The E.T. room will be a testament and ode to human folly.
It will be a celebration, really.
The Atari 2600 E.T. game, as the inspiration for the E.T. room, will be displayed prominently and permanently on the wall -- though I haven't decided whether other human follies should be like rotating exhibits, or also permanent.
Since shadowboxing is the most ridiculous mode of presentation, the E.T. game will, of course, be shadowboxed.
I haven't decided whether the game should actually be played in the E.T. room (except on its inaugural day, when obviously it should) or generally left as a symbol of the incredible history of incredibly bad inventions, designs and ideas that the E.T. room will partially catalogue.
So even though I'm not in the market for real estate, and even though I'm likely moving sometime in the next several months, here's your chance:
What would you put in the E.T. room?
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