SYD #4

Cat is wearing an actual dress again this week, pink with a black bow. It seems clear that wardrobing has been following my blog.

Mia, the guest judge for this week (so no Mia Michaels routines tonight), admits that she sees Brandon’s improvement since she excoriated him during tryouts.


Janette and Brandon – cha cha, and Brandon says “not only is it fast, it’s dangerous.” At least it’s to a Pussycat Dolls song and not an old-tyme ballroom tune. Janette’s sequin costume looks like a combination of figure skating leotard and curtain from the 70’s. It was well danced, and

Nigel said “it was possibly the BEST DAMN CHA CHA I’VE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW. EVER. EVER.” He says he can imagine “Brandon really pulling his finger out” – of his ass??? – “with Mia on the panel. He’s amazed that they’re doing so well without ever having drawn their style yet.

Nigel says he can hear a train coming when it’s Mary’s turn to critique. Mary makes us respect her a little more than usual by citing technique in complimenting Janette, then lets her voice track higher and higher before offering them “two first class tickets on the hot tamale train!”

Mia says Brandon is amazing and that she’s going to “dig in and drag [him] to places [he’s] never been before.”

Cat thinks they can beat this routine with later routines, which I doubt (even though it’s ballroom!), but then she mentions that there’s a Tabitha and Napoleon hip-hop routine to come.


Kayla and Kupono – Sonia contemporary routine. Caitlin looks like she’s been watching The Corpse Bride on repeat for the last week and a half.

[Joe and Liz trade places on the couch at this point because Liz was getting a bedsore. She suggested that I share this in my summary. There you go, Liz.]

Kayla and Kupono are dancing to a song from the Twilight soundtrack, Liz says, and in typical Sonia manner, they start out with Kupono pulling Kayla across the floor as though she’s a dead body. They have energy and a good sense of Sonia-style motion, though, good follow-through, and it does make me think the cha cha might be eclipsed.

Nigel talks about vampires and Sonia’s choreography, meaning he loved it, then tells Kupono how he loved it, saying “everything about it was absolutely tremendous, and it’s so good to see you two working to your potential on this show.”

Mary says “this song was all about the death, wasn’t it? But these two are alive and kicking!” She compliments Kayla’s legs, transitions and chemistry between them. [These two are a new pair this week after last week’s eliminations.]

Mia says she thinks this is Sonia’s best work so far on the show, and compliments both dancers.


Randi and Evan – Broadway with Joey Dowling (I don’t recognize her). The dancers actually sound like they’re complaining about Ms. Dowling, which is rare in SYD etiquette. The dance was a sort of mock-fight between what Cat calls “baddies from a Dick Tracy movie.”

Nigel says the routine was “a great homage to Bob Fossy” and that it was terrifically choreographed. He was happy with Randi but less happy with Evan. He says these two are still in the top ten.

Mary says they did it “fairly well” and that they did the characters well, “but I really enjoyed it; it was entertaining.” But no scream, and no train for them.

Mia begins by talking about Dowling’s choreography, and the dancers’ “height.” This may be metaphorical, or may be literal. Mia says Randi’s dancing was “heavy” – which, as Joe points out, means she’s calling Randi “fat and short.” Mia saves it (sort of) by saying Randi’s too strong to have that trouble.


Caitlin and Jason – jazz with Brian Friedman. Caitlin is supposed to be an alien coming to find the last human male to procreate with. She’s got a weird, foily-spiked costume, and they dance to “Santigold” – er, that’s Santogold, guys. Get it right, eh?

Nigel backhand-compliments Brian Friedman first of all, saying finally “listen, it was very weird, but if you’re given something like that by the choreographer, you have to commit yourself 100%.” Nigel says her costume looks “like a dancing condom.” Cat retorts “safety first, Nigel, safety first.”

Mary didn’t really like it.

Mia suggests that Brian was just having fun with the routine, saying “the only thing I don’t like about it is the tinfoil – the tinfoil makes it seem cartoonish.”

I’M hypnotized by the jiggliness of Caitlin’s upper lady bits in that costume, and I’m not even gay. It’s like she’s wearing an anti-bra; the lack of support is extraterrestrial.
And I’d say it’s the only extraterrestrial thing about the routine.


Jeanine and Phillip – Tabitha and Napoleon’s hip-hop, telling the story of how dancers on SYD get locked together the first week…using the prop of a chain connecting them. They’re attached at the ankle and are dancing, brilliantly, to “Love Lockdown.” The routine is all about the chain and the restrictions created by it – their movements are small, technical, and in sync.

Nigel: “Well, if you guys keep dancing like that, you should be chained together for life. I can see a lot of husbands and wives at home going ‘oh, yeah, that reminds me…’”

Mary compliments them both, but only lets her voice rise for Jeanine, who was “keeping up with” Phillip. She says it’s going to be a sad day when they don’t have each other as partners, and Phillip fake-hands the key to Cat.

Mia says she kept getting caught up in “the chainography.” She actually criticized Nap and Tab by focusing entirely on how the chain distracted from the excellent job done by dancers.

“We have chains all over the place, in our apartment and everything,” Jeanine says, explaining how much overtime practice they’d put in to get the routine right, and Nigel yells “TMI! TMI!”
That’s what she said, Nigel. (Wait, what?)


Melissa and Ade – Pas de Deux. Melissa is obviously a ballerina, and a good one.

Nigel: “Who would have believed that in five seasons we’re now doing classical ballet on SYD?” He talked about the variety of routines “What’s on FOX tonight? Oh, we’ve got The Simpsons, we’ve got Family Guy, and classical ballet – oh, good.” He thanked Melissa, and complimented Ade’s lifts and character.

Mary: “You put me in a dreamlike state, and honestly, I just didn’t want to wake up from it.”

Mia: “I am so excited to be celebrating classical dance on this show.” She also says she loves “that it’s a black and white Romeo and Juliet.”

Cat introduces “The Dizzy Feet Foundation” which will give scholarships to young people who can’t afford dance. All the judges, Alan Shankman included, plus Katie Holmes (her house-arrest anklet isn’t visible in the camera shot they have set up), endorse it. It’s a brief infomercial in the middle of our show.

Nigel thanks the Fox broadcasting corporation and other producers for letting them use the show as a platform. Katie Holmes will be dancing on July 23rd.


Vitolio and Karla – quickstep. Blegh to the quickstep, but at least they’re dancing to “putting on the Ritz.” Karla also has a magical, quick change of costume from black and white checkers to long pink, feathery gown. They actually do a pretty good job, particularly with Karla’s arm lines and the lifts.

Nigel: “There were so many good things about that” – and he compliments Jean-Marc, says he loved the quick dress change, and that he loves that you can quiet a woman by simply snapping. This is horribly misogynist, but Mary actually makes it funny by reacting to his snap with silence.

Mary: “Well, so much for the kiss of death dance, eh?” She compliments their hold, the costume change, and the choreography.

Mia: She compliments the choreographer first, and says choreographers “can either break you or make you – he made you.” She says Vitolio’s all over the map, but that he delivered it here. He says “I know it [quickstep] was the kiss of death but I hope tonight we made it the kiss of joy.” “You made out with it,” Mia says matter-of-factly.

And a run through the numbers again, another look at the dancers’ routines, and the phone lines are open.

I say the Broadway routinees (Randi and Evan) are in trouble this week.