For those CU readers who may have been following my SimCities progress, I am now a Master Manipulator of Authoritria, my third city, created specifically with the Manipulator trophy (and Population Gold Medal) in mind.
You may now return to your homes, content but not elated.
Friday, July 31, 2009
In Defense of Poppery, XI: Movies based on self-help books.
Pop Example: Movies based on self-help books, such as "He's Just Not That Into You" and "The Ugly Truth"
What redeems it: I’d intended to defend movies based on self-help books a few months ago, when I saw “He’s Just Not That Into You,” but I let it go – until this week, when I saw “The Ugly Truth.”
To be clear, some movies based on self-help books are better than others, and “He’s Just Not That Into You” is better than “The Ugly Truth.” But that may be part of why this subgenre of film deserves our attention: These films offer a bit of a book review in advance of our actually buying copies of books to live our lives by. It would be like seeing workout videos used and populated by people on the South Beach diet, or Atkins, before trying those diets out on your own digestive system, or watching a video of a Weight Watcher’s meeting that would help you understand both how supportive and how excruciatingly boring such meetings can be in advance of paying for the plan. This is all useful information.
In the case of movies based on self-help books, though, plots are necessary. What would normally be a list of Do’s and Don’ts has to be put into narrative practice for a Hollywood blockbuster – a recitation of principles would amount to an instructional video, and nobody past their first day at Drugstore USA wants to watch a whole bunch of those.
Self-help movies, then, end up showing a Hollywood version of how these books would theoretically work out in “real life” – in other words, they espouse the harsh critique of male-female relations the books they’re based on do, but then they undercut that message with a Hollywood happy ending.
Thus, self-help romantic comedies end up critiquing the books they’re based on – but because the majority of the movie is intended to narrate and support the principles of the book, the movie also critiques itself.
At the end of “He’s Just Not That Into You,” for instance, Justin Long’s character realizes that the girl who according to the book’s principles should stop obsessing and just get a life (Ginnifer Goodwin), is right. He is, in fact, THAT into her, and he needed her to point it out in order to realize the truth.
At the end of “The Ugly Truth,” Katherine Heigl and her “Ugly Truth” host (Gerard Butler), who’s been spouting an “everything is sex and sex is everything” view of men (and women), realize they’re in love with each other. He admits that it’s happened for no reason, which just makes her happier. Apparently, love is beyond reason – even beyond the reason of the self-help book the movie is based on.
And that’s the crux of the matter, the answer to the questions “how did that couple in that movie end up together?” and “what are principles I can live my life by in order to trick love into finding me?”: It’s a mystery. Nobody knows. It seems astonishing yet inevitable when it happens, and no two stories of how it happened are the same.
In the end, the one consistent message these movies send, despite themselves and despite the books they’re “based on” is that you might as well just keep being yourself. Ultimately, that’s what’s most likely to make you happy and get you into a satisfying relationship.
I can buy into that.
What redeems it: I’d intended to defend movies based on self-help books a few months ago, when I saw “He’s Just Not That Into You,” but I let it go – until this week, when I saw “The Ugly Truth.”
To be clear, some movies based on self-help books are better than others, and “He’s Just Not That Into You” is better than “The Ugly Truth.” But that may be part of why this subgenre of film deserves our attention: These films offer a bit of a book review in advance of our actually buying copies of books to live our lives by. It would be like seeing workout videos used and populated by people on the South Beach diet, or Atkins, before trying those diets out on your own digestive system, or watching a video of a Weight Watcher’s meeting that would help you understand both how supportive and how excruciatingly boring such meetings can be in advance of paying for the plan. This is all useful information.
In the case of movies based on self-help books, though, plots are necessary. What would normally be a list of Do’s and Don’ts has to be put into narrative practice for a Hollywood blockbuster – a recitation of principles would amount to an instructional video, and nobody past their first day at Drugstore USA wants to watch a whole bunch of those.
Self-help movies, then, end up showing a Hollywood version of how these books would theoretically work out in “real life” – in other words, they espouse the harsh critique of male-female relations the books they’re based on do, but then they undercut that message with a Hollywood happy ending.
Thus, self-help romantic comedies end up critiquing the books they’re based on – but because the majority of the movie is intended to narrate and support the principles of the book, the movie also critiques itself.
At the end of “He’s Just Not That Into You,” for instance, Justin Long’s character realizes that the girl who according to the book’s principles should stop obsessing and just get a life (Ginnifer Goodwin), is right. He is, in fact, THAT into her, and he needed her to point it out in order to realize the truth.
At the end of “The Ugly Truth,” Katherine Heigl and her “Ugly Truth” host (Gerard Butler), who’s been spouting an “everything is sex and sex is everything” view of men (and women), realize they’re in love with each other. He admits that it’s happened for no reason, which just makes her happier. Apparently, love is beyond reason – even beyond the reason of the self-help book the movie is based on.
And that’s the crux of the matter, the answer to the questions “how did that couple in that movie end up together?” and “what are principles I can live my life by in order to trick love into finding me?”: It’s a mystery. Nobody knows. It seems astonishing yet inevitable when it happens, and no two stories of how it happened are the same.
In the end, the one consistent message these movies send, despite themselves and despite the books they’re “based on” is that you might as well just keep being yourself. Ultimately, that’s what’s most likely to make you happy and get you into a satisfying relationship.
I can buy into that.
Local Trivia: Newbury Comics
For those who don’t live in the Boston area or anywhere near Buckland Hills Mall in Manchester, CT, here’s a PSA: Newbury Comics is a pretty great store.
They have a section of DVDs (and a section of music, and other media, etc.) marked “wicked cheap,” and though it wasn’t very big, I spend much of my shopping time there looking and looking again at what they had to offer. The Newbury Comics’ “wicked cheap” section in Buckland Hills is where I got seasons 3-4 of Alias, for instance and seasons 1-3 of The OC (…but it shouldn’t be blamed for that last one). P.C. and I stopped at NC Buckland Hills when a plan to deliver stuff to my new room in MA and tool around up there turned into a “let’s just go home” plan B thanks to rain, about a month ago.
Yesterday, after successfully delivering the green/gold velvet loveseat-sized couch to my new room, P.C. and I decided to take full advantage of the beautiful day it turned out to be and go see the Newbury Comics at Fresh Pond. (It used to be across the street at Alewife.)
We ended up spending two hours there, in part because it was air-conditioned, in part because traffic outside was terrible, and in part because it’s a great store that’s fun to shop in. I looked at every single copy of TV-on-DVD set and season they had, and I pulled out every copy of shows I might have wanted to buy to check the prices.
This is one thing people should know going into Newbury Comics: Always check every example of the movie or show you’re looking for, as prices vary. You may find a show you’d like, season 1, for instance, for $45…and then you may find the same show, in the same condition, for $20.
Newbury Comics is part of the reason I’m so cool, musically. I bought a lot of CDs there last year, when I was surfing the web to find bands like Modest Mouse, Winterpills, Tilly and the Wall, Tricky, You Say Party! We Say Die! and others. I got some of their CDs at Newbury Comics.
As I told P.C., Newbury Comics is THE place to go for the weird stuff. (“And for the normal stuff, too,” I said loudly, for the benefit of the cashiers. “It’s also good for that!”) He picked up two DVDs he hadn’t been able to find anywhere else.
They’ve never had Matt & Kim, the eponymous Asobi Seksu album, or more You Say Party! We Say Die! (other than “Lose All Time,” which I picked up there for $4) when I’ve checked, but they did have a display on Passion Pit this time, and “Manners” was on sale for $8.
The staff at both Newbury Comics are also quirky and very helpful. At both places, I was asked if having a basket would make my life easier, and despite refusing both times (“I limit myself to what I can carry,” I say in these situations), a guy at the Buckland Hills NC brought me a basket anyway when it became obvious that I’d picked out more than I could handle safely. The girl at the Fresh Pond NC pointed out that I had a bottled drink with me, and it could get tough to figure out how to take a sip while holding onto La Femme Nikita (season 2), Rescue Me (season 1) and Deadliest Catch (season 2). I said it was more likely I’d set the bottle down and forget it, apologizing sheepishly in advance if that happened, and she said she’d just follow me around, pick it up and ask “is this yours?” in a polite but semi-ironic way.
They’re a bit like Hot Topic staff, but substitute an “I have an M.A. in a liberal arts area of study but choose to work here anyway so I can wear my hair any way I want” attitude for the “'My Little Ponies' is SO hardcore!” tween-faux-goth vibe.
So go, befuddled masses. Go to a Newbury Comics and be around people you suspect (or know) are cooler than you. Make the staff ask if you want a basket, then fill it with things. Enjoy supporting a local business with an ironic-yet-undetached inventory of cult classics alongside pop culture cotton-candy-equivalent.
Just remember: Check every price tag.
They have a section of DVDs (and a section of music, and other media, etc.) marked “wicked cheap,” and though it wasn’t very big, I spend much of my shopping time there looking and looking again at what they had to offer. The Newbury Comics’ “wicked cheap” section in Buckland Hills is where I got seasons 3-4 of Alias, for instance and seasons 1-3 of The OC (…but it shouldn’t be blamed for that last one). P.C. and I stopped at NC Buckland Hills when a plan to deliver stuff to my new room in MA and tool around up there turned into a “let’s just go home” plan B thanks to rain, about a month ago.
Yesterday, after successfully delivering the green/gold velvet loveseat-sized couch to my new room, P.C. and I decided to take full advantage of the beautiful day it turned out to be and go see the Newbury Comics at Fresh Pond. (It used to be across the street at Alewife.)
We ended up spending two hours there, in part because it was air-conditioned, in part because traffic outside was terrible, and in part because it’s a great store that’s fun to shop in. I looked at every single copy of TV-on-DVD set and season they had, and I pulled out every copy of shows I might have wanted to buy to check the prices.
This is one thing people should know going into Newbury Comics: Always check every example of the movie or show you’re looking for, as prices vary. You may find a show you’d like, season 1, for instance, for $45…and then you may find the same show, in the same condition, for $20.
Newbury Comics is part of the reason I’m so cool, musically. I bought a lot of CDs there last year, when I was surfing the web to find bands like Modest Mouse, Winterpills, Tilly and the Wall, Tricky, You Say Party! We Say Die! and others. I got some of their CDs at Newbury Comics.
As I told P.C., Newbury Comics is THE place to go for the weird stuff. (“And for the normal stuff, too,” I said loudly, for the benefit of the cashiers. “It’s also good for that!”) He picked up two DVDs he hadn’t been able to find anywhere else.
They’ve never had Matt & Kim, the eponymous Asobi Seksu album, or more You Say Party! We Say Die! (other than “Lose All Time,” which I picked up there for $4) when I’ve checked, but they did have a display on Passion Pit this time, and “Manners” was on sale for $8.
The staff at both Newbury Comics are also quirky and very helpful. At both places, I was asked if having a basket would make my life easier, and despite refusing both times (“I limit myself to what I can carry,” I say in these situations), a guy at the Buckland Hills NC brought me a basket anyway when it became obvious that I’d picked out more than I could handle safely. The girl at the Fresh Pond NC pointed out that I had a bottled drink with me, and it could get tough to figure out how to take a sip while holding onto La Femme Nikita (season 2), Rescue Me (season 1) and Deadliest Catch (season 2). I said it was more likely I’d set the bottle down and forget it, apologizing sheepishly in advance if that happened, and she said she’d just follow me around, pick it up and ask “is this yours?” in a polite but semi-ironic way.
They’re a bit like Hot Topic staff, but substitute an “I have an M.A. in a liberal arts area of study but choose to work here anyway so I can wear my hair any way I want” attitude for the “'My Little Ponies' is SO hardcore!” tween-faux-goth vibe.
So go, befuddled masses. Go to a Newbury Comics and be around people you suspect (or know) are cooler than you. Make the staff ask if you want a basket, then fill it with things. Enjoy supporting a local business with an ironic-yet-undetached inventory of cult classics alongside pop culture cotton-candy-equivalent.
Just remember: Check every price tag.
Local Trivia, Vice City edition: Tunes
Lately, I’ve been watching a fair bit of P.C. playing video games on his Playstation 2. The one we’ve been playing/watching is Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
The brilliance of this game is not the open-endedness that was revolutionary when GTA came out, not the anti-hero Tommy’s missions, which are often very difficult, and not the graphics, which are sub-par compared to recent game systems’ recent contributions to CGI. It’s the radio.
GTA: Vice City has a bunch of radio stations, from my least favorite “Espantoso” (latin music with an occasional reggaeton beat) to “Flash” (number one hit station with the tagline “we’ll play it ‘til you like it!”) to the amusingly candid roundtable discussions on Vice City Public Radio. It’s the dialogue between the songs, which (since Vice City is set in the 80s) include classics such as “Video Killed the Radio Star” or Cutting Crew’s latest power-balled, that makes the radio great.
Most people being interviewed have written a book or two: the modern-day Viking who supports pillaging and looting as a way of life; the playwright who penned the pop culture muck “Just the Five Of Us” as well as “In the Future, There Will Be Robots,” which seems to be some kind of interpretive dance drama (and is advertised on other stations); Pastor Richards, of the Pastor Richards’ Salvation Statue fund (the statue will blast off into space with those who have made the largest donations toward its creation when Armageddon arrives).
Some of the panelists on morality, such as the nudist who insists “if everyone were naked, there would be no war!”, are satirical, while some seem to be just stating the secret beliefs of people who really exist: “I’m a mother, and I’m opinionated and judgmental! No, don't interrupt me! I have children, you know!”
At any rate, whatever you think of GTA, Vice City, or vice in general, this is radio worth listening to.
The brilliance of this game is not the open-endedness that was revolutionary when GTA came out, not the anti-hero Tommy’s missions, which are often very difficult, and not the graphics, which are sub-par compared to recent game systems’ recent contributions to CGI. It’s the radio.
GTA: Vice City has a bunch of radio stations, from my least favorite “Espantoso” (latin music with an occasional reggaeton beat) to “Flash” (number one hit station with the tagline “we’ll play it ‘til you like it!”) to the amusingly candid roundtable discussions on Vice City Public Radio. It’s the dialogue between the songs, which (since Vice City is set in the 80s) include classics such as “Video Killed the Radio Star” or Cutting Crew’s latest power-balled, that makes the radio great.
Most people being interviewed have written a book or two: the modern-day Viking who supports pillaging and looting as a way of life; the playwright who penned the pop culture muck “Just the Five Of Us” as well as “In the Future, There Will Be Robots,” which seems to be some kind of interpretive dance drama (and is advertised on other stations); Pastor Richards, of the Pastor Richards’ Salvation Statue fund (the statue will blast off into space with those who have made the largest donations toward its creation when Armageddon arrives).
Some of the panelists on morality, such as the nudist who insists “if everyone were naked, there would be no war!”, are satirical, while some seem to be just stating the secret beliefs of people who really exist: “I’m a mother, and I’m opinionated and judgmental! No, don't interrupt me! I have children, you know!”
At any rate, whatever you think of GTA, Vice City, or vice in general, this is radio worth listening to.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
MFHTDWF #11, expanded and revised
Principle: Don’t go to court.
Don’t get caught up in boring court cases – and all court cases are boring. Unless you decide to throw your career as a famous person away by defending yourself “pro per” and engaging in televisable antics, there is no way to make a recitation of the facts of any case fascinating and terrifying.
Avoid it. That is the principle.
If, however, you find yourself unavoidably headed to court, you will invariably find that the only potential remedy to the boringness of reciting courtroom facts is to list as some of those facts (while defending yourself “pro per,” if possible) several sexual exploits in which you were engaged during the time of the crime. These acts should be explicit enough to be censorable by network television (or to warrant a “graphic content in the testimony” warning from an evening news anchor), but they should be recognizable as “normal” by approximately half of your fan base.
If you can cause half of your fans to categorize your sexual behavior as “normal” and the other half to begin to doubt their fandom of you, you will successfully start a debate that can last for several seasons of whatever television show you’re on at the time, guaranteeing you a renewed contract through what would otherwise be some of the most trying and boring times of your life.
If most of your fans see you as “normal,” the controversy will die in the boring details of your trial; if most of your fans see you as “abnormal,” you’ll likely have alienated your audience enough to have your contract dropped.
Remember that as a famous person, you should strive to avoid being associated with court at all costs; even creating controversy will only delay the inevitable decline of your fame once you are on trial. It's important to strike exactly the right balance, thus extending the life of your fame as much as possible.
For example, a ménage a trois might be considered normal, while “swinging” with your committed spouse or lover might be accepted by some and rejected by others. Making snuff films as swingers with your committed spouse or lover will not only cause you to be categorically judged “abnormal,” but will most likely cause you to lose your court case.
If you do in fact make snuff films as swingers with you committed spouse or lover, however, you may need to evaluate whether or not you are a serial killer.
The only exception to the principle of courtroom cases being boring is the serial killer famous person, whose calm demeanor while describing the torture and deaths of multiple normal people serves to make the testimony more fascinating and terrifying. For this reason, as soon as is feasible (when one’s reputation has been built to a climax in the media), serial killers should arrange to be caught, or turn themselves in. They should waive all rights that lead to a lengthy pre-trial process in order to keep the public’s interest in the story at a maximum and get straight to the courtroom trial, during which they should confess in full and graphic detail to their crimes. Their lawyers may wish to appeal the “guilty” judgment on grounds of insanity or the like.
All other famous people should avoid being in a courtroom, except as the star of a television series or feature film set partly in a courtroom.
Examples of famous people who follow this principle: Ryan Gosling, Nell Carter, etc.
Examples of famous people who succeed at this principle by virtue of being apprehended serial killers: Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson
Examples of famous people who fail at this principle: Britney Spears, Jack the Ripper
Don’t get caught up in boring court cases – and all court cases are boring. Unless you decide to throw your career as a famous person away by defending yourself “pro per” and engaging in televisable antics, there is no way to make a recitation of the facts of any case fascinating and terrifying.
Avoid it. That is the principle.
If, however, you find yourself unavoidably headed to court, you will invariably find that the only potential remedy to the boringness of reciting courtroom facts is to list as some of those facts (while defending yourself “pro per,” if possible) several sexual exploits in which you were engaged during the time of the crime. These acts should be explicit enough to be censorable by network television (or to warrant a “graphic content in the testimony” warning from an evening news anchor), but they should be recognizable as “normal” by approximately half of your fan base.
If you can cause half of your fans to categorize your sexual behavior as “normal” and the other half to begin to doubt their fandom of you, you will successfully start a debate that can last for several seasons of whatever television show you’re on at the time, guaranteeing you a renewed contract through what would otherwise be some of the most trying and boring times of your life.
If most of your fans see you as “normal,” the controversy will die in the boring details of your trial; if most of your fans see you as “abnormal,” you’ll likely have alienated your audience enough to have your contract dropped.
Remember that as a famous person, you should strive to avoid being associated with court at all costs; even creating controversy will only delay the inevitable decline of your fame once you are on trial. It's important to strike exactly the right balance, thus extending the life of your fame as much as possible.
For example, a ménage a trois might be considered normal, while “swinging” with your committed spouse or lover might be accepted by some and rejected by others. Making snuff films as swingers with your committed spouse or lover will not only cause you to be categorically judged “abnormal,” but will most likely cause you to lose your court case.
If you do in fact make snuff films as swingers with you committed spouse or lover, however, you may need to evaluate whether or not you are a serial killer.
The only exception to the principle of courtroom cases being boring is the serial killer famous person, whose calm demeanor while describing the torture and deaths of multiple normal people serves to make the testimony more fascinating and terrifying. For this reason, as soon as is feasible (when one’s reputation has been built to a climax in the media), serial killers should arrange to be caught, or turn themselves in. They should waive all rights that lead to a lengthy pre-trial process in order to keep the public’s interest in the story at a maximum and get straight to the courtroom trial, during which they should confess in full and graphic detail to their crimes. Their lawyers may wish to appeal the “guilty” judgment on grounds of insanity or the like.
All other famous people should avoid being in a courtroom, except as the star of a television series or feature film set partly in a courtroom.
Examples of famous people who follow this principle: Ryan Gosling, Nell Carter, etc.
Examples of famous people who succeed at this principle by virtue of being apprehended serial killers: Jeffrey Dahmer, Charles Manson
Examples of famous people who fail at this principle: Britney Spears, Jack the Ripper
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
SYD 11
SYD #11
I spent the first twenty minutes of the show with no signal because the government is stupid.
That’s right. The government is stupid. And TV is stupid. I hate digital TV.
I saw enough of Cat’s hair to know that it was straightened this week, and enough of the guys to know it was Evan, Ade and Brandon left. I only saw Jeanine of the girls, but she was the one I was most afraid would be eliminated anyway, so that was good.
P.C. stood at the TV holding up the antenna so that I could see these things, and eventually little digitalized bits of Kayla, who’s my favorite girl…though probably not the winner, if I read the audience right.
There was a flash of Adam Sandler, I assume as part of a commercial, and it reminds me that I didn’t see Katie Holmes dance last week (in her one annual outing allowed by Tom). I feel about as bad about that as I do about never having met Adam Sandler in person, which is to say, not bad at all.
Melissa is still there, which means Janette – who didn’t have a good dance last week – went home.
Melissa’s paired with Evan, which is just silly. They got Tyce Diorio for a Broadway routine, which Evan loves. He points out that he gets to use “jazz hands.” (Groan.)
Melissa is wearing something like what I imagine a naughty nurse would wear as lingerie – so two steps up (or down, depending on how you look at it) from a nurse’s uniform. Evan’s in his underwear, a dress shirt and sock garters. It was as silly as it sounds.
On the up-side, Lil C is the guest judge this week. He starts to critique Evan, but gets digitalized, disappears, and speaks gibberish the rest of the time. (But maybe that was just on my TV.)
Mary says something digital and everyone claps. “This was really fun and entertaining for me, and it’s hard, Evan, taking you seriously in your underwear and whatever that thing was holding up your socks, I’ve never seen that before” and she says she never wants to see it again. She gives Melissa a great review.
Nigel points out that Melissa’s able to adapt to “every routine” she’s been given, while most ballet dancers (i.e., the ones trying out for season 6) can’t. He says Evan did bring enough personality to the routine for him, despite it not being a very technically challenging routine.
Ade solos to a Blue October song, but a slowish one. He’s wearing a shirt, but it’s open, and his contemporary choreography has the manic/unchoreographed feel of many mediocre contemporary routines, but the tween-girl fans squeal anyway.
Why don’t contemporary dancers do more with space and pauses? Is it because 30 seconds isn’t long enough to cram in all their skills-of-an-artist if they do that, or is it that they can’t choreograph themselves?
I hear from Cat that we’ve already seen a samba, and I don’t feel too badly that I didn’t get to see it. But with P.C. standing at the antenna, there had better be some awesome routines tonight – Nat and Tab slow hip-hop, Mia contemporary, group dance like we’ve never seen: everything – and Kayla’s partnered with Brandon, so that’s good news. Brandon points out that Kayla’s been on the “Hot Tamale Train” the whole time, and says he’s like to get on that with her.
They’ve got a contemporary routine in which Kayla is Brandon’s mistress and can’t leave him. Whatever, Stacy. This should be a hip-hop routine so she CAN leave him in the end.
They remind me a bit of Katie and Joshua, and then the signal goes out again.
Lil C says some stuff, including that Kayla has finally been “equally matched” with her partner. Mary says the dancing was brilliant and that they’re riding in first class. She says “Kayla, you are as exquisite as anything. You have never taken a wrong step for me.”
Nigel starts out complimenting the choreographer, then points out that the girls have had it really tough this season – Kayla has been an addict, a zombie mistress, and now she’s an abused mistress – but that they did a great job.
Melissa dances to “I Put a Spell On You,” which is okay. It’s not very ballet-y, but she is, making for an interesting contrast.
Jeanine talks about her success and there’s a montage of her in various underwears she’s worn throughout the competition. Ade talks about it too, but not in his underwear.
They get a Nap and Tab routine, about them being friends who are being evicted from their apartment. Jeanine is probably the best girl left at hip hop. The song choice (“Move (If You Wanna)”) is clever, but I don’t really like it. They dance with their feet inside boxes at one point.
Lil’ C says “I wish moving was always that fun. I’d relocate every day.” He says Ade has “a really dirty kind of groove about yourself…and it’s really earthy. This time you kind of sunk into it, and just sat in it. I feel like you pulled [her] down into the depths of the dirt. It was buck, it was buck.”
Mary says she thought that in the samba “you were really terrific, the whole time through, and I just want to say that to you,” and then she dissolves into pixels. Mary comes back to say “you two will not be getting your eviction notice after that performance.”
Nigel says “you’ve taken the notes, and you’ve gotten down, we could have been applauding Tabitha and Napoleon’s routine.” But they weren’t – the pair was great, he says. He asks Jeanine if she’s ever been evicted.
Brandon’s solo is done to an opera aria that had been used for a paso doble earlier in the season. He’s in his underwear. It’s a blend of ballet and contemporary, it seems, and people really like it. Cat says “yeah, very average. Just average, really.” The judges give him a standing ovation, which I can’t remember seeing for a solo before.
Melissa and Evan are doing the quickstep, which pretty much guarantees they’ll be sent home, unless “nonthreatening boy” is still the name of the game for winning this thing…but I think Twitch and Joshua blew that out of the water last year, trumping Benji’s obvious win in season 2.
Melissa and Evan talk about how it would be to be in the top 4, but they don’t say anything very interesting except that Melissa is the oldest person ever in the competition. Melissa is significantly taller than Evan and so will be leaning back to give the illusion of height for him.
They’re wearing elegant eveningwear, but it’s still the quickstep. Lil C says “Evan, I’m going to commend you for dancing bigger than you’ve ever danced on the show before. Now comes the tough love…you were told when you did the jive about your retractions, and you didn’t take heed to that. Melissa, what can I say? You’re fabulous.”
Mary starts talking about the choreographer, which is not always a good sign from her. She says it is one of the toughest dances to do, but that as it went along, “everything started to crumble down…I’m sitting here just a little disappointed right now…it did not live up to my expectations tonight.”
Nigel says Melissa makes herself sound so old at 29, and that the only time it lost energy for him was the lindy hop section. He says it wasn’t one of the best routines tonight. “You are now getting the country to go ‘who are we going to vote for tonight?’ Cause you two are two of the favorites.”
Jeanine dances her solo to a Janet Jackson song, which is interesting. She’s wearing hot pants instead of just plain underwear, and at least she does something a little different than the ordinary contemplative-contemporary routine.
Evan’s solo starts with a flip, and he does look reminiscent of Benji while dancing to “Lady is a Tramp.” I still hope – in fact, I hope even more now – that he goes home this week.
Kayla and Brandon talks about what being in the top four would mean for them. Brandon says he would be convinced he’s actually a good dancer, and Kayla says it would mean “absolutely everything” to her. They’re doing disco, which should be fun and probably a good ender. Kayla says “we came in here expecting an ordinary disco, and it’s more like a circus.”
Doriana is a crazy woman.
They’re dancing to “Dance (Disco Heat)” and it’s pretty fun. They’re both in silver sparkles, though Brandon’s outfit is mostly white cloth. Kayla does a death spiral, and then Brandon does one, which is fun. Brandon flips at the end off of Kayla’s hands, which is also awesome. Cat actually chastises Doriana for the number of stunts there.
Lil C says “when faced with certain challenges, like being out of your comfort zone...[and concludes with] and when you see with your ears, there is no darkness in your routine, and there was no darkness. Kayla, I saw your little groove at the beginning, and I was like ‘that’s what I’m talking about’ – and Brandon, thank you for coming for Kayla right there. You being there is inspiring her to reach another level. You guys make each other better.”
Mary starts out by saying “holy shamokeys… holy smokes, you knocked it out with a homerun tonight!” She stands up to yell at Brandon for having self esteem problems: “You’re going, you’re first class, you’ve got it, what’s your problem??? And Kayla – still on the train, what can I say??”
Nigel says “I think we’ve got to be sensible about this now because we’re asking people to vote…so let me critique this professionally now [and he stands up and screams, throwing himself around in disco style]. Good luck the pair of you, good luck. My fingers are crossed for you both.”
The three girls dance together as the finale to the show, and it’s a Sonya contemporary routine about superheroes.
It’s obviously a Sonya routine, with a few weird movements and a lot of robotic unison, and it’s cool.
Lil C says they have to “bring the collage of movements to life, but you still have to shine…you still have to eat, and the stage is your bowl. I feel like all of you didn’t really go for the gusto there – I feel like you were being too courteous. I gotta see some buckness. I thought you danced it amazingly, but I need more than amazing right now.”
Mary says “amazing is amazing! Superheroes like you – you guys are the epitome of [string of good adjectives ] dancers. I will say that Kayla had a couple of moves that were tougher than the others, so as a result you stood out to me.” She says they should have performed this for Comic-Con.
Nigel says they were all fantastic, and that he loves the fact that Melissa has a mini-tutu on her costume and points out Jeanine’s strapped-up chest.
Next week: Finale!
I spent the first twenty minutes of the show with no signal because the government is stupid.
That’s right. The government is stupid. And TV is stupid. I hate digital TV.
I saw enough of Cat’s hair to know that it was straightened this week, and enough of the guys to know it was Evan, Ade and Brandon left. I only saw Jeanine of the girls, but she was the one I was most afraid would be eliminated anyway, so that was good.
P.C. stood at the TV holding up the antenna so that I could see these things, and eventually little digitalized bits of Kayla, who’s my favorite girl…though probably not the winner, if I read the audience right.
There was a flash of Adam Sandler, I assume as part of a commercial, and it reminds me that I didn’t see Katie Holmes dance last week (in her one annual outing allowed by Tom). I feel about as bad about that as I do about never having met Adam Sandler in person, which is to say, not bad at all.
Melissa is still there, which means Janette – who didn’t have a good dance last week – went home.
Melissa’s paired with Evan, which is just silly. They got Tyce Diorio for a Broadway routine, which Evan loves. He points out that he gets to use “jazz hands.” (Groan.)
Melissa is wearing something like what I imagine a naughty nurse would wear as lingerie – so two steps up (or down, depending on how you look at it) from a nurse’s uniform. Evan’s in his underwear, a dress shirt and sock garters. It was as silly as it sounds.
On the up-side, Lil C is the guest judge this week. He starts to critique Evan, but gets digitalized, disappears, and speaks gibberish the rest of the time. (But maybe that was just on my TV.)
Mary says something digital and everyone claps. “This was really fun and entertaining for me, and it’s hard, Evan, taking you seriously in your underwear and whatever that thing was holding up your socks, I’ve never seen that before” and she says she never wants to see it again. She gives Melissa a great review.
Nigel points out that Melissa’s able to adapt to “every routine” she’s been given, while most ballet dancers (i.e., the ones trying out for season 6) can’t. He says Evan did bring enough personality to the routine for him, despite it not being a very technically challenging routine.
Ade solos to a Blue October song, but a slowish one. He’s wearing a shirt, but it’s open, and his contemporary choreography has the manic/unchoreographed feel of many mediocre contemporary routines, but the tween-girl fans squeal anyway.
Why don’t contemporary dancers do more with space and pauses? Is it because 30 seconds isn’t long enough to cram in all their skills-of-an-artist if they do that, or is it that they can’t choreograph themselves?
I hear from Cat that we’ve already seen a samba, and I don’t feel too badly that I didn’t get to see it. But with P.C. standing at the antenna, there had better be some awesome routines tonight – Nat and Tab slow hip-hop, Mia contemporary, group dance like we’ve never seen: everything – and Kayla’s partnered with Brandon, so that’s good news. Brandon points out that Kayla’s been on the “Hot Tamale Train” the whole time, and says he’s like to get on that with her.
They’ve got a contemporary routine in which Kayla is Brandon’s mistress and can’t leave him. Whatever, Stacy. This should be a hip-hop routine so she CAN leave him in the end.
They remind me a bit of Katie and Joshua, and then the signal goes out again.
Lil C says some stuff, including that Kayla has finally been “equally matched” with her partner. Mary says the dancing was brilliant and that they’re riding in first class. She says “Kayla, you are as exquisite as anything. You have never taken a wrong step for me.”
Nigel starts out complimenting the choreographer, then points out that the girls have had it really tough this season – Kayla has been an addict, a zombie mistress, and now she’s an abused mistress – but that they did a great job.
Melissa dances to “I Put a Spell On You,” which is okay. It’s not very ballet-y, but she is, making for an interesting contrast.
Jeanine talks about her success and there’s a montage of her in various underwears she’s worn throughout the competition. Ade talks about it too, but not in his underwear.
They get a Nap and Tab routine, about them being friends who are being evicted from their apartment. Jeanine is probably the best girl left at hip hop. The song choice (“Move (If You Wanna)”) is clever, but I don’t really like it. They dance with their feet inside boxes at one point.
Lil’ C says “I wish moving was always that fun. I’d relocate every day.” He says Ade has “a really dirty kind of groove about yourself…and it’s really earthy. This time you kind of sunk into it, and just sat in it. I feel like you pulled [her] down into the depths of the dirt. It was buck, it was buck.”
Mary says she thought that in the samba “you were really terrific, the whole time through, and I just want to say that to you,” and then she dissolves into pixels. Mary comes back to say “you two will not be getting your eviction notice after that performance.”
Nigel says “you’ve taken the notes, and you’ve gotten down, we could have been applauding Tabitha and Napoleon’s routine.” But they weren’t – the pair was great, he says. He asks Jeanine if she’s ever been evicted.
Brandon’s solo is done to an opera aria that had been used for a paso doble earlier in the season. He’s in his underwear. It’s a blend of ballet and contemporary, it seems, and people really like it. Cat says “yeah, very average. Just average, really.” The judges give him a standing ovation, which I can’t remember seeing for a solo before.
Melissa and Evan are doing the quickstep, which pretty much guarantees they’ll be sent home, unless “nonthreatening boy” is still the name of the game for winning this thing…but I think Twitch and Joshua blew that out of the water last year, trumping Benji’s obvious win in season 2.
Melissa and Evan talk about how it would be to be in the top 4, but they don’t say anything very interesting except that Melissa is the oldest person ever in the competition. Melissa is significantly taller than Evan and so will be leaning back to give the illusion of height for him.
They’re wearing elegant eveningwear, but it’s still the quickstep. Lil C says “Evan, I’m going to commend you for dancing bigger than you’ve ever danced on the show before. Now comes the tough love…you were told when you did the jive about your retractions, and you didn’t take heed to that. Melissa, what can I say? You’re fabulous.”
Mary starts talking about the choreographer, which is not always a good sign from her. She says it is one of the toughest dances to do, but that as it went along, “everything started to crumble down…I’m sitting here just a little disappointed right now…it did not live up to my expectations tonight.”
Nigel says Melissa makes herself sound so old at 29, and that the only time it lost energy for him was the lindy hop section. He says it wasn’t one of the best routines tonight. “You are now getting the country to go ‘who are we going to vote for tonight?’ Cause you two are two of the favorites.”
Jeanine dances her solo to a Janet Jackson song, which is interesting. She’s wearing hot pants instead of just plain underwear, and at least she does something a little different than the ordinary contemplative-contemporary routine.
Evan’s solo starts with a flip, and he does look reminiscent of Benji while dancing to “Lady is a Tramp.” I still hope – in fact, I hope even more now – that he goes home this week.
Kayla and Brandon talks about what being in the top four would mean for them. Brandon says he would be convinced he’s actually a good dancer, and Kayla says it would mean “absolutely everything” to her. They’re doing disco, which should be fun and probably a good ender. Kayla says “we came in here expecting an ordinary disco, and it’s more like a circus.”
Doriana is a crazy woman.
They’re dancing to “Dance (Disco Heat)” and it’s pretty fun. They’re both in silver sparkles, though Brandon’s outfit is mostly white cloth. Kayla does a death spiral, and then Brandon does one, which is fun. Brandon flips at the end off of Kayla’s hands, which is also awesome. Cat actually chastises Doriana for the number of stunts there.
Lil C says “when faced with certain challenges, like being out of your comfort zone...[and concludes with] and when you see with your ears, there is no darkness in your routine, and there was no darkness. Kayla, I saw your little groove at the beginning, and I was like ‘that’s what I’m talking about’ – and Brandon, thank you for coming for Kayla right there. You being there is inspiring her to reach another level. You guys make each other better.”
Mary starts out by saying “holy shamokeys… holy smokes, you knocked it out with a homerun tonight!” She stands up to yell at Brandon for having self esteem problems: “You’re going, you’re first class, you’ve got it, what’s your problem??? And Kayla – still on the train, what can I say??”
Nigel says “I think we’ve got to be sensible about this now because we’re asking people to vote…so let me critique this professionally now [and he stands up and screams, throwing himself around in disco style]. Good luck the pair of you, good luck. My fingers are crossed for you both.”
The three girls dance together as the finale to the show, and it’s a Sonya contemporary routine about superheroes.
It’s obviously a Sonya routine, with a few weird movements and a lot of robotic unison, and it’s cool.
Lil C says they have to “bring the collage of movements to life, but you still have to shine…you still have to eat, and the stage is your bowl. I feel like all of you didn’t really go for the gusto there – I feel like you were being too courteous. I gotta see some buckness. I thought you danced it amazingly, but I need more than amazing right now.”
Mary says “amazing is amazing! Superheroes like you – you guys are the epitome of [string of good adjectives ] dancers. I will say that Kayla had a couple of moves that were tougher than the others, so as a result you stood out to me.” She says they should have performed this for Comic-Con.
Nigel says they were all fantastic, and that he loves the fact that Melissa has a mini-tutu on her costume and points out Jeanine’s strapped-up chest.
Next week: Finale!
PSA: Hmm. Just kidding.
P.C. wasn't up to a long trip thanks perhaps to some bad peanut mochi and perhaps to Betty's antifreeze-scented "air conditioning."
Instead, I bought a(nother) velvet couch -- this one green/gold -- to go in my MA room, and we may bring it up there tonight.
Instead, I bought a(nother) velvet couch -- this one green/gold -- to go in my MA room, and we may bring it up there tonight.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
PSA: NYTimes says "Scientists Worry Machines May Outsmart Man"
Like, say, the calculator?
(It's too late, guys. )
(It's too late, guys. )
PSA: Emily's home!
Welcome home, Emily!
I know it's silly to welcome you back to your own home, but there it is, anyway, and with all my best wishes. Seriously.
I know it's silly to welcome you back to your own home, but there it is, anyway, and with all my best wishes. Seriously.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
PSA: I'm a Jack of All Trades!
In fact, I'm also a Guru, Mayor, Sheriff, and all of the titles from achievement trophies except for Master Manipulator.
But anyone who's been reading this blog for awhile could probably have guessed that.
But anyone who's been reading this blog for awhile could probably have guessed that.
Recipe: Watermelon Soda
This is practically sugar-free. You may also blend with ice to make a slushee type watermelon drink.
Ingredients:
One seedless watermelon
One bottle seltzer water
Machinery:
Blender
Large Knife
Spoon
Cups
Straws, small umbrellas (optional)
1. Cut the watermelon in half.
2. Scoop the contents into the blender with a spoon.
3. Blend. (Add a little water if necessary to facilitate the blending.)
4. Pour into cups. Add seltzer water to desired fizziness, or drink as is. Garnish with straw or small umbrella.
Serves several thirsty people.
Ingredients:
One seedless watermelon
One bottle seltzer water
Machinery:
Blender
Large Knife
Spoon
Cups
Straws, small umbrellas (optional)
1. Cut the watermelon in half.
2. Scoop the contents into the blender with a spoon.
3. Blend. (Add a little water if necessary to facilitate the blending.)
4. Pour into cups. Add seltzer water to desired fizziness, or drink as is. Garnish with straw or small umbrella.
Serves several thirsty people.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Local Trivia: Elaine, by Earl
After posting the local trivia about my estate-sale painting of “Elaine,” I decided some investigatory work was in order. I’ve had Elaine for probably a year now, and I’d never bothered to look up the artist who signed the portrait: “E. Norem.”
I would never have guessed how awesome this information turns out to be.
E. Norem almost certainly stands for Earl Norem, a Connecticut resident and illustrator of comic books from the Golden Age, children’s classics (think Transformers, He-man), and pulp magazines that seem to predate Playboy’s actual photos of nude women.
His style is recognizable and impressive, particularly, in my opinion, in his depiction of people. He drew Optimus Prime without a face mask – with a mouth – and you can see here that he had a command of all the He-man characters one could ever want to see.
Mr. Norem doesn’t paint for the masses anymore; he restricts himself (and arthritis restricts him) to painting for the amusement of his grandkids and himself, now.
The fact that I own a portrait of someone I don’t know that I got free from an estate sale is awesome; the fact that it was painted by little-known, little-celebrated, uber-talented local comic-book artist Earl Norem is indescribably MORE awesome.
I’m considering writing to Mr. Norem to let him know I’ve got his painting, though I’m afraid he might be saddened to think his painting has been given away by its original owner (who may be dead, thus adding to the sadness).
On the other hand, I think most people would agree that Elaine’s gone to a good, loving home.
I would never have guessed how awesome this information turns out to be.
E. Norem almost certainly stands for Earl Norem, a Connecticut resident and illustrator of comic books from the Golden Age, children’s classics (think Transformers, He-man), and pulp magazines that seem to predate Playboy’s actual photos of nude women.
His style is recognizable and impressive, particularly, in my opinion, in his depiction of people. He drew Optimus Prime without a face mask – with a mouth – and you can see here that he had a command of all the He-man characters one could ever want to see.
Mr. Norem doesn’t paint for the masses anymore; he restricts himself (and arthritis restricts him) to painting for the amusement of his grandkids and himself, now.
The fact that I own a portrait of someone I don’t know that I got free from an estate sale is awesome; the fact that it was painted by little-known, little-celebrated, uber-talented local comic-book artist Earl Norem is indescribably MORE awesome.
I’m considering writing to Mr. Norem to let him know I’ve got his painting, though I’m afraid he might be saddened to think his painting has been given away by its original owner (who may be dead, thus adding to the sadness).
On the other hand, I think most people would agree that Elaine’s gone to a good, loving home.
Local Trivia: Earl by Elaine
At the Goodwill in Bristol last week, P.C. and I found a painting of an old man in a suit, done on the sort of board one would find slid across cubby-holes in kindergarten (dense and very, very thin). After a bit of useless vacillation (the end was inevitable), we decided to buy him and give Elaine a grandfather. P.C. named him “Earl,” in honor of Elaine’s portrait-artist and of the fact that “Earl” sounds like an old-man name.
He’s currently perched on top of a chair I’ve designated to go to Waltham with me, next to Elaine but not leaning on her. P.C. and I agree that he’s probably more straight-laced than his “hippy-dippy granddaughter,” who as you can see, looks off into the distance as though seeing a happy future. (Really it’s just the 80’s coming. Elaine must have been pretty disappointed.)
Though it’s sad that we had to pay for Earl ($8), the money went to a great cause, and I believe this may begin a serious trend.
Give us five years, and then ask how many portraits of unknown subjects we’ve got.
I’m betting at least 7.
He’s currently perched on top of a chair I’ve designated to go to Waltham with me, next to Elaine but not leaning on her. P.C. and I agree that he’s probably more straight-laced than his “hippy-dippy granddaughter,” who as you can see, looks off into the distance as though seeing a happy future. (Really it’s just the 80’s coming. Elaine must have been pretty disappointed.)
Though it’s sad that we had to pay for Earl ($8), the money went to a great cause, and I believe this may begin a serious trend.
Give us five years, and then ask how many portraits of unknown subjects we’ve got.
I’m betting at least 7.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
PSA: Things adults couldn’t tell us when we were young even if they tried
Life doesn’t end when you turn twenty.
The stupid things you do may have infinitely less impact than you think they will.
The stupid things you do that have a great impact will seem like absurd acts of chance rather than like great failures, even if they are great failures.
The fact that life doesn’t end when you’re twenty or when you do stupid things means you’ll compromise, again and again – maybe not on your convictions, but on your goals and methods for attaining them; in your relationships and expectations for ‘perfect’ love; and maybe on your convictions.
Most of the convictions you held as a child will seem silly to you looking back, but their sincerity will probably make you think of them and your young self tenderly. You will secretly hold onto as many of them as you can.
Inexplicable sadness is possible and probable. Happiness is by its nature inexplicable.
Kids are blessed by always knowing FOR CERTAIN the reasons for what they do but never being expected to explain them coherently. Adults often don’t understand why they do things, but are almost always expected to know. This seems to be a function of language and how kids and adults are expected to use it: viscerally and professionally, respectively.
If you reach your goals, they will look different than you’d expected when you achieve them, and so will you.
You may achieve your goals and realize they were too small and that you need new ones.
The stupid things you do may have infinitely less impact than you think they will.
The stupid things you do that have a great impact will seem like absurd acts of chance rather than like great failures, even if they are great failures.
The fact that life doesn’t end when you’re twenty or when you do stupid things means you’ll compromise, again and again – maybe not on your convictions, but on your goals and methods for attaining them; in your relationships and expectations for ‘perfect’ love; and maybe on your convictions.
Most of the convictions you held as a child will seem silly to you looking back, but their sincerity will probably make you think of them and your young self tenderly. You will secretly hold onto as many of them as you can.
Inexplicable sadness is possible and probable. Happiness is by its nature inexplicable.
Kids are blessed by always knowing FOR CERTAIN the reasons for what they do but never being expected to explain them coherently. Adults often don’t understand why they do things, but are almost always expected to know. This seems to be a function of language and how kids and adults are expected to use it: viscerally and professionally, respectively.
If you reach your goals, they will look different than you’d expected when you achieve them, and so will you.
You may achieve your goals and realize they were too small and that you need new ones.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
SYD #10
Cat’s dress makes her look like she fell in a mud pit.
Randi and Kupono left last week.
Four judges this week, including Mia and Ellen Degeneres, for some reason.
Nigel has been doctorated by a UK university.
Ellen explains why she’s here: “Everything I’ve learned, I’ve learned from the streets, and by the streets, I mean I live in a gated community and there was only one street.” She goes on to win me over by being really funny during the rest of her comments.
Mia’s been nominated for three Emmys.
All the contestants are performing four times: solo, two partner dances and a group dance.
Travis choreographed the top 8 in a “rave” style, wherein they each get to also use their own styles. Travis says it “should be this huge banana extravaganza.”
Their costumes are pretty good, though – much better than the ones in the Willennium music video. They glow in the dark, for instance. The music is good for the piece, too – Lil’ Wayne.
Nigel talks Travis up, which is always a good sign. He says it was a great opening to the show. Ellen says “well, first of all, I can do that, but second of all, when Travis asked me to help with the wardrobe…” [it’s great to have a comedian on the panel at this point]. Mary says she’s going to pick on specific people, but looks at them and says “nope, nobody to pick on.” Mia asks if Ellen will wear one of those costumes with her on Thursday, and Ellen immediately agrees.
Evan picked Janette’s name out of the hat, and they got a Sonya jazz routine. (Niiiiiice.) Janette’s ballroom form helps her keep her legs and feet graceful despite it being a Sonya routine. They were supposed to get angrier and angrier, though, and I wasn’t feelin’ it.
Nigel says these two are “two little stars of this season,” and that Evan is finally giving the more Nigel’s been asking for. Ellen says “it was hard-hitting and rich and full-bodied – I’m sorry, I’m thinking of the wine I had before I came here…but you all were amazing.” Mary says they could have been “a little bit more gutsier…a little bit rougher” towards the end. Nigel covers Mary’s mouth (a reference to the routine) and Mary tells him to “pipe down, English muffin, and go sit on your degree.” Mia says Evan will never be “the freakish dancer that Sonya requires.” She says Janette is her “favorite, favorite, favorite this season.”
Kayla’s solo is to an Imogen Heap song, but unfortunately that’s the most memorable thing about it.
Brandon pulled Jeanine for the waltz first. Jeanine says she gets “to be elegant and flowy, like a brunette Cinderella,” and once again, Jeanine’s underwear is COMPLETELY VISIBLE under her rehearsal skirt. She looks like a canary in her yellow dress, which at least covers her underwear.
Nigel starts out saying it “was an extremely tough routine…not your fault, but that music felt like pulling teeth to me.” [Ellen is sitting in deadpan-attack pose next to Nigel.] The audience boos Nigel and he tells them to shut up. After a long story involving seeing Twila Thorpe from behind in line for the ladies’ room, Ellen says she thought they were fantastic. Mary says “you guys did it respectable.” Mia says “maybe if you weren’t dreaming about birds and bunnies, the performance would have been better…I expected the length and the space and the breath to be magical,” but it wasn’t.
Jason solos to a “Taking Back Sunday” song, which again makes me think “hey, I should look up this ‘Taking Back Sunday’ group” more than “hey, I should vote for Jason.” He might have been good enough to make it through the week, though, and I figured Jason was in the most trouble before this. (The tweens love an epic-seeming song with contemporary dance choreography.)
Ade is reunited with Melissa for the cha cha. Nigel says it’s “really, really good, really good.” Ellen says “I have a question, are you two carpenters, because you nailed it!” Mary says Ade has to lower his “bum” in order to be “grounded and hard-hitting,” and that Melissa was sometimes turned out too far and sometimes turned in too far. Mia says she thinks it was Ade’s worst performance this season “and you weren’t getting down and dirty.” She says Melissa did an excellent job considering her ballet background.
Janette dances, unfortunately, to a Celine Dion song – at least it’s something different for the salsa dancer, but still, it seems more “Titanic” than “Miami Heat.”
Jason picked Kayla, and they dance Broadway with Tyce. It’s jazzy in that it seems to be set in the 20’s/30’s. I like Kayla, and even though this is jazz, I like her in this.
Nigel says it was “beautiful to watch,” and that Jason’s toes were great – Kayla’s lines were great and she “can do anything that’s thrown at [her].” He says it was one of the best routines of the evening so far. Ellen says “I really just wanted to come see a taping, and these are really good seats…I want to invite you both over to the house later because I have some pictures that need to be hung, and you are both good NAILERS.” Mary says it “seemed to flow effortless.” She says Jason was “cool, suave [grunt]…and Kayla, there’s a reason why you’re riding first class. [She pulls out an actual wooden train whistle and blows it.]”
Mia says “I seem like the only sane one up here, and that’s scary.” She loved the piece and says Jason needs to open up through the chest. She asks Kayla if she sings or acts, and says she should; she “will take Broadway by storm if [she] ever decided to do that. If you checked in a dictionary and looked up ‘girl, perfection and star,’ you would see Kayla.”
Ade dances to a song by “Various Production Artists” – it’s weird and techy, and he jumps really high. He’s no Twitch or Joshua, though, and his solo lacks substance.
Evan and Janette dance the rumba to an American Idol remake of Kanye West’s “Heartless,” which is much better than this remake. I’m distracted the whole time by this fact and fail to even comment aloud on Janette’s bustle-and-absent outfit (that is, there are parts with no fabric, and also a bustle at her back).
Nigel says the rumba is hard to get votes with, though Janette was great at it. Evan, on the other hand, didn’t “perform with [his] face.” Ellen says “as someone, who again, learned everything from the streets, I have no idea what I’m talking about – I love your face, Evan, I love your eyes. You’re a special, special guy. Janette, I love you. I think you’re amazing.” Mary says Evan was “there for her in all the connections,” didn’t lose his balance, did the lift well, and the choreography was good. Then she turns to “little miss fire and spice and flavor,” and calls her a “little Hot Tamale.” Mia says Evan is perfect the way God has made him, and that “we celebrate [him]” – she said going into his performance, “I wasn’t sure I wanted to see you be sexy…but you did it. But you did it with a Zoolander face.” She decides not to say anything about Janette because she’s said it all before.
Melissa dances to a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song in a “Center Stage” 80’s-type leotard and a high, ‘you should be wearing leg-warmers’ ponytail. Good choice, though I might have gone Cyndy Lauper or Pat Benatar with the 30-second time limit on solos. Not spectacular otherwise (choreographically).
Jeanine and Brandon dance with Laurieann Gibson to Jordin Sparks’ “Battlefield.” It’s a soldier conceit, and I kind of like Laurieann’s style, though it goes along with Jordin Sparks’ music a little too well (pop-y and hook-driven). Still, they’re good, and this is likely the routine of the night.
Nigel says “that’s all I’m asking – this is our top 8 dancers, and that’s exactly what we want. It’s finally begun this evening for me. Thank you, hooray! This is the flattest night I’ve ever experienced on SYD, up until now. Thank you, thank you, hooray, at last!” Ellen says she’s “so happy that [Nigel’s] that happy. I’m that happy too. You make it so appealing to join some kind of armed forces. I mean, there’s dancing and there’s daa-aa-aancing, and there’s da-aa-aa-aa-aaaaancing, and that’s what that was.” Mary gives a tag question and asks “do you hear it Nigel? Do you hear it Mia? Do you hear it, Ellen?” and she screams. Mia says she’s afraid to talk “after all this,” but she talks anyway. She says Lauriann Gibson doesn’t dance unless she’s “convicted to move,” and that’s what these guys did. She calls Brandon a “powerhouse.”
Evan dances a Broadway solo. He reminds me here of Benji from season 2 in terms of accessibility, which may keep him through next week.
Jeanine does her solo in, predictably, her underwear. It’s got a beat despite being apparently contemporary, which makes it more compelling than most contemporary solos, but it ends before it can really get started.
Ade and Melissa dance a Tyce Diorio contemporary routine. Melissa looks with a scarf on her head like she’s a cancer patient, but that turns out to be intentional. Breast cancer, in specific, which may be an interesting choice…they dance to Maxwell’s almost entirely falsetto cover of “This Woman’s Work.” She looks kind of like a ghost already, but it’s hard to tell if that’s intentional. An excellent song choice helps make for a pretty great performance, though it’s hard to know if the effortless leaps and catches will overtake Jeanine and Brandon’s win.
Nigel starts with “I think that that has just shown me why I love dance so much, and that is because it can express [he chokes up] so many emotions…I don’t know as a choreographer how you get the strength to do a piece like this.” He suggests Tyce will be nominated for another Emmy, says it was one of the most memorable routines from this show, and “I found it extremely touching…I can’t think of a better couple to have danced it than you two…Together, you were absolutely sensational. Absolutely incredible.”
Ellen says “I’ve been wanting to come see a taping live for a long, long time…it was just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Mary is crying and says they did a great job. Nigel is turned away from the camera, probably crying. Mia is also crying and breaks down after saying “what an important piece of work.” She talks about the journey of cancer patients and their family and friends and thanks Tyce, Ade and Melissa for the dance.
Brandon is shirtless in his solo and crawls across the floor and does a lot of flips. Good move, Brandon. Cat replies “I mean, seriously! You’re like a RACEHORSE!” Nobody knows what she means, but everyone cheers.
Kayla and Jason are dancing to a Shane Sparks routine where Jason is a zombie. Kayla’s makeup is pretty scary, but their dancing doesn’t necessarily match it. Kayla’s still great, but Jason doesn’t hit the locks in the way I’d like. He kills her at the end.
Nigel points out that it’s Michael Jackson-inspired. He says to Kayla about her grandparents “when they sent you to dance classes, who ever thought you’d be a zombie mistress?” Ellen says “you two keep dancing like that and you’ll have your own talk show someday. That’s what I was trying to do during the break, that exact thing.” Mary says Jason’s been “bitten by the rabies or something,” and that she loved “every second of it, it was pure entertainment.” She screams. Mia says it was her favorite Shane piece he’s done on the show. She says the strangulation at the end of the routine “was disturbingly hot.”
Cat sums up for us, and it’s all up to the voters.
Randi and Kupono left last week.
Four judges this week, including Mia and Ellen Degeneres, for some reason.
Nigel has been doctorated by a UK university.
Ellen explains why she’s here: “Everything I’ve learned, I’ve learned from the streets, and by the streets, I mean I live in a gated community and there was only one street.” She goes on to win me over by being really funny during the rest of her comments.
Mia’s been nominated for three Emmys.
All the contestants are performing four times: solo, two partner dances and a group dance.
Travis choreographed the top 8 in a “rave” style, wherein they each get to also use their own styles. Travis says it “should be this huge banana extravaganza.”
Their costumes are pretty good, though – much better than the ones in the Willennium music video. They glow in the dark, for instance. The music is good for the piece, too – Lil’ Wayne.
Nigel talks Travis up, which is always a good sign. He says it was a great opening to the show. Ellen says “well, first of all, I can do that, but second of all, when Travis asked me to help with the wardrobe…” [it’s great to have a comedian on the panel at this point]. Mary says she’s going to pick on specific people, but looks at them and says “nope, nobody to pick on.” Mia asks if Ellen will wear one of those costumes with her on Thursday, and Ellen immediately agrees.
Evan picked Janette’s name out of the hat, and they got a Sonya jazz routine. (Niiiiiice.) Janette’s ballroom form helps her keep her legs and feet graceful despite it being a Sonya routine. They were supposed to get angrier and angrier, though, and I wasn’t feelin’ it.
Nigel says these two are “two little stars of this season,” and that Evan is finally giving the more Nigel’s been asking for. Ellen says “it was hard-hitting and rich and full-bodied – I’m sorry, I’m thinking of the wine I had before I came here…but you all were amazing.” Mary says they could have been “a little bit more gutsier…a little bit rougher” towards the end. Nigel covers Mary’s mouth (a reference to the routine) and Mary tells him to “pipe down, English muffin, and go sit on your degree.” Mia says Evan will never be “the freakish dancer that Sonya requires.” She says Janette is her “favorite, favorite, favorite this season.”
Kayla’s solo is to an Imogen Heap song, but unfortunately that’s the most memorable thing about it.
Brandon pulled Jeanine for the waltz first. Jeanine says she gets “to be elegant and flowy, like a brunette Cinderella,” and once again, Jeanine’s underwear is COMPLETELY VISIBLE under her rehearsal skirt. She looks like a canary in her yellow dress, which at least covers her underwear.
Nigel starts out saying it “was an extremely tough routine…not your fault, but that music felt like pulling teeth to me.” [Ellen is sitting in deadpan-attack pose next to Nigel.] The audience boos Nigel and he tells them to shut up. After a long story involving seeing Twila Thorpe from behind in line for the ladies’ room, Ellen says she thought they were fantastic. Mary says “you guys did it respectable.” Mia says “maybe if you weren’t dreaming about birds and bunnies, the performance would have been better…I expected the length and the space and the breath to be magical,” but it wasn’t.
Jason solos to a “Taking Back Sunday” song, which again makes me think “hey, I should look up this ‘Taking Back Sunday’ group” more than “hey, I should vote for Jason.” He might have been good enough to make it through the week, though, and I figured Jason was in the most trouble before this. (The tweens love an epic-seeming song with contemporary dance choreography.)
Ade is reunited with Melissa for the cha cha. Nigel says it’s “really, really good, really good.” Ellen says “I have a question, are you two carpenters, because you nailed it!” Mary says Ade has to lower his “bum” in order to be “grounded and hard-hitting,” and that Melissa was sometimes turned out too far and sometimes turned in too far. Mia says she thinks it was Ade’s worst performance this season “and you weren’t getting down and dirty.” She says Melissa did an excellent job considering her ballet background.
Janette dances, unfortunately, to a Celine Dion song – at least it’s something different for the salsa dancer, but still, it seems more “Titanic” than “Miami Heat.”
Jason picked Kayla, and they dance Broadway with Tyce. It’s jazzy in that it seems to be set in the 20’s/30’s. I like Kayla, and even though this is jazz, I like her in this.
Nigel says it was “beautiful to watch,” and that Jason’s toes were great – Kayla’s lines were great and she “can do anything that’s thrown at [her].” He says it was one of the best routines of the evening so far. Ellen says “I really just wanted to come see a taping, and these are really good seats…I want to invite you both over to the house later because I have some pictures that need to be hung, and you are both good NAILERS.” Mary says it “seemed to flow effortless.” She says Jason was “cool, suave [grunt]…and Kayla, there’s a reason why you’re riding first class. [She pulls out an actual wooden train whistle and blows it.]”
Mia says “I seem like the only sane one up here, and that’s scary.” She loved the piece and says Jason needs to open up through the chest. She asks Kayla if she sings or acts, and says she should; she “will take Broadway by storm if [she] ever decided to do that. If you checked in a dictionary and looked up ‘girl, perfection and star,’ you would see Kayla.”
Ade dances to a song by “Various Production Artists” – it’s weird and techy, and he jumps really high. He’s no Twitch or Joshua, though, and his solo lacks substance.
Evan and Janette dance the rumba to an American Idol remake of Kanye West’s “Heartless,” which is much better than this remake. I’m distracted the whole time by this fact and fail to even comment aloud on Janette’s bustle-and-absent outfit (that is, there are parts with no fabric, and also a bustle at her back).
Nigel says the rumba is hard to get votes with, though Janette was great at it. Evan, on the other hand, didn’t “perform with [his] face.” Ellen says “as someone, who again, learned everything from the streets, I have no idea what I’m talking about – I love your face, Evan, I love your eyes. You’re a special, special guy. Janette, I love you. I think you’re amazing.” Mary says Evan was “there for her in all the connections,” didn’t lose his balance, did the lift well, and the choreography was good. Then she turns to “little miss fire and spice and flavor,” and calls her a “little Hot Tamale.” Mia says Evan is perfect the way God has made him, and that “we celebrate [him]” – she said going into his performance, “I wasn’t sure I wanted to see you be sexy…but you did it. But you did it with a Zoolander face.” She decides not to say anything about Janette because she’s said it all before.
Melissa dances to a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song in a “Center Stage” 80’s-type leotard and a high, ‘you should be wearing leg-warmers’ ponytail. Good choice, though I might have gone Cyndy Lauper or Pat Benatar with the 30-second time limit on solos. Not spectacular otherwise (choreographically).
Jeanine and Brandon dance with Laurieann Gibson to Jordin Sparks’ “Battlefield.” It’s a soldier conceit, and I kind of like Laurieann’s style, though it goes along with Jordin Sparks’ music a little too well (pop-y and hook-driven). Still, they’re good, and this is likely the routine of the night.
Nigel says “that’s all I’m asking – this is our top 8 dancers, and that’s exactly what we want. It’s finally begun this evening for me. Thank you, hooray! This is the flattest night I’ve ever experienced on SYD, up until now. Thank you, thank you, hooray, at last!” Ellen says she’s “so happy that [Nigel’s] that happy. I’m that happy too. You make it so appealing to join some kind of armed forces. I mean, there’s dancing and there’s daa-aa-aancing, and there’s da-aa-aa-aa-aaaaancing, and that’s what that was.” Mary gives a tag question and asks “do you hear it Nigel? Do you hear it Mia? Do you hear it, Ellen?” and she screams. Mia says she’s afraid to talk “after all this,” but she talks anyway. She says Lauriann Gibson doesn’t dance unless she’s “convicted to move,” and that’s what these guys did. She calls Brandon a “powerhouse.”
Evan dances a Broadway solo. He reminds me here of Benji from season 2 in terms of accessibility, which may keep him through next week.
Jeanine does her solo in, predictably, her underwear. It’s got a beat despite being apparently contemporary, which makes it more compelling than most contemporary solos, but it ends before it can really get started.
Ade and Melissa dance a Tyce Diorio contemporary routine. Melissa looks with a scarf on her head like she’s a cancer patient, but that turns out to be intentional. Breast cancer, in specific, which may be an interesting choice…they dance to Maxwell’s almost entirely falsetto cover of “This Woman’s Work.” She looks kind of like a ghost already, but it’s hard to tell if that’s intentional. An excellent song choice helps make for a pretty great performance, though it’s hard to know if the effortless leaps and catches will overtake Jeanine and Brandon’s win.
Nigel starts with “I think that that has just shown me why I love dance so much, and that is because it can express [he chokes up] so many emotions…I don’t know as a choreographer how you get the strength to do a piece like this.” He suggests Tyce will be nominated for another Emmy, says it was one of the most memorable routines from this show, and “I found it extremely touching…I can’t think of a better couple to have danced it than you two…Together, you were absolutely sensational. Absolutely incredible.”
Ellen says “I’ve been wanting to come see a taping live for a long, long time…it was just the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Mary is crying and says they did a great job. Nigel is turned away from the camera, probably crying. Mia is also crying and breaks down after saying “what an important piece of work.” She talks about the journey of cancer patients and their family and friends and thanks Tyce, Ade and Melissa for the dance.
Brandon is shirtless in his solo and crawls across the floor and does a lot of flips. Good move, Brandon. Cat replies “I mean, seriously! You’re like a RACEHORSE!” Nobody knows what she means, but everyone cheers.
Kayla and Jason are dancing to a Shane Sparks routine where Jason is a zombie. Kayla’s makeup is pretty scary, but their dancing doesn’t necessarily match it. Kayla’s still great, but Jason doesn’t hit the locks in the way I’d like. He kills her at the end.
Nigel points out that it’s Michael Jackson-inspired. He says to Kayla about her grandparents “when they sent you to dance classes, who ever thought you’d be a zombie mistress?” Ellen says “you two keep dancing like that and you’ll have your own talk show someday. That’s what I was trying to do during the break, that exact thing.” Mary says Jason’s been “bitten by the rabies or something,” and that she loved “every second of it, it was pure entertainment.” She screams. Mia says it was her favorite Shane piece he’s done on the show. She says the strangulation at the end of the routine “was disturbingly hot.”
Cat sums up for us, and it’s all up to the voters.
Local Trivia: Hey, hey, there are monkeys!
The Pizza Hut quarter machine ("Toy Treasure Chest," similar in content to "Lucky, Lucky Me" quarter machines, if you have either of these in your area) has been REFILLED, and almost the entire top layer of items IS MADE UP OF TINY PLASTIC MONKEYS.
I've gotten the "lounging monkey" twice -- he lays back with his hands behind his head and legs crossed at the knee, as though on vacation or staring up at clouds -- from a "Lucky Lucky Me" machine at a Kmart, and I am DELIGHTED with the little guys.
I can't wait to get "covering his eyes monkey" and "sitting up monkey" and all the others to go with 'em.
Awesome.
I've gotten the "lounging monkey" twice -- he lays back with his hands behind his head and legs crossed at the knee, as though on vacation or staring up at clouds -- from a "Lucky Lucky Me" machine at a Kmart, and I am DELIGHTED with the little guys.
I can't wait to get "covering his eyes monkey" and "sitting up monkey" and all the others to go with 'em.
Awesome.
Monday, July 20, 2009
PSQ: What pop culture essay would you most like to read?
I've decided to get myself back in (mental) shape before starting classes at the end of August by writing a critical essay on a pop culture subject.
My first impulse is to finally write up that paper on the depiction of masculinity in Season 1 of Lost -- but that idea is a bajillion years old now, and I'm guessing not too many of my CU readers are keen to read it.
What other shows/subjects would you rather read about? Any questions on pop culture you demand answers to?
Homework me.
My first impulse is to finally write up that paper on the depiction of masculinity in Season 1 of Lost -- but that idea is a bajillion years old now, and I'm guessing not too many of my CU readers are keen to read it.
What other shows/subjects would you rather read about? Any questions on pop culture you demand answers to?
Homework me.
Local Trivia: Mucho mochi
Last Wednesday, on our way to SYD at Liz and Joe's house, P.C. and I stopped at the Asian market for a case of Thai iced tea (Foco is the only canned kind I'll drink), which I've recently re-realized I love to drink. We bought a bunch of other "weird" drinks that we've come to know and enjoy since Chinese New Year.
P.C. suggested we get some weird snacks, too, which we've had a surprising amount of success with, and he picked out "Japanese style mochi" from the cookie-and-cracker aisle. There were a bunch of different kinds, so we got four different ones: taro (my fave), green tea, red bean and sesame.
They felt like something almost alive in squishiness and resiliency, especially the taro, which had only a bit of flour on the outside to keep it from being sticky. (The sesame, my least favorite, had sesame seeds covering the outside.)
The shelves were literally packed with small boxes of these things. Eighteen inches deep and three feet long adds up to a lot of mochi.
Still, the fact that we liked them so much should have tipped me off to their short on-the-shelf-life. When I went back today to get some more, all the kinds we tried were gone.
Anyone who has a lead on where I can get more taro mochi, let me know.
Otherwise I may have to resort to making it myself.
P.C. suggested we get some weird snacks, too, which we've had a surprising amount of success with, and he picked out "Japanese style mochi" from the cookie-and-cracker aisle. There were a bunch of different kinds, so we got four different ones: taro (my fave), green tea, red bean and sesame.
They felt like something almost alive in squishiness and resiliency, especially the taro, which had only a bit of flour on the outside to keep it from being sticky. (The sesame, my least favorite, had sesame seeds covering the outside.)
The shelves were literally packed with small boxes of these things. Eighteen inches deep and three feet long adds up to a lot of mochi.
Still, the fact that we liked them so much should have tipped me off to their short on-the-shelf-life. When I went back today to get some more, all the kinds we tried were gone.
Anyone who has a lead on where I can get more taro mochi, let me know.
Otherwise I may have to resort to making it myself.
PSA: Babies are often cute.
Congrats to friends Liz and Joe on the birth of their new baby girl, Sophie.
(Don't worry -- her room is already outfitted with a "That's what she said" cross-stitch sampler. Also, she has great parents.)
(Don't worry -- her room is already outfitted with a "That's what she said" cross-stitch sampler. Also, she has great parents.)
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Local Trivia: Farmitron
Well, reader[s], P.C. recommended that I try out a new game this weekend -- or new to me, anyway: SimCity Societies.
Let's just say I now understand how a person could spend an entire year playing a game and then, in a panic, think "what?!? How did it get to be 2011?? I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A MASTER'S DEGREE BY NOW!"
The difference between this and the previous Sims games (which I've never played) seems to be that you can place buildings wherever you want and you don't have to care about the people. I focus almost entirely on buildings, placing education, commerce and venue buildings as close to the best housing as I can, and I tend to ignore the everyday Sims filling the streets and cars.
Anyway, I started out with "Wheeler's Ferry" (name generated by the Sims' AI), where everyone's happy all the time. My populace is ecstatic. I imagine them still running through metaphorical daisy-covered fields even now, as I focus all my efforts on keeping the people of Farmitron in line.
Farmitron was an effort to marry the two lifestyles that intrigue me most: rural and cyberpunk. Yes, it was probably doomed from the start. But there's a river running through the center of my map, and I thought that if agriculture and small-town life dominated the west, with bustling commerce, manufacturing, and education just across the river to the east, everyone could find what they were looking for.
I didn't expect the farming Sims to start going rogue and shutting down their workplaces -- orchards, communal farms and co-ops -- probably because they didn't have enough venues to enjoy. I suppose one could have predicted that two "general stores" wouldn't be enough for Sims who could see the cybertech skyline just across the covered bridge, but I figured if they wanted to live in "solar worker barracks," they'd just move to the city.
I made compromises, but mostly authoritative ones. I put up another asylum (which calls in workers who are playing hooky because they're mad); I put up a Ministry of Propaganda and a Ministry of Thought. I put in some state prisons and detention centers. Somehow, people didn't settle down. They're all trending "rogue" now, and shutting down multinational headquarters and skyscrapers downtown.
I wonder what these people want from me. They just seem to be rioting for the sake of it -- most rogues say they've just been out for a long time and are looking forward to going to a venue to relax, which isn't something I can make them do -- and I find myself trending increasingly Authoritative in dealing with the befuddling masses.
So in true liberal-arts-educated form, I'm going to improve all of their housing. I'm going to put up rural-living-appropriate venues in the farm parts of Farmitron.
And if they're not happy with that?
Meteor shower.
Let's just say I now understand how a person could spend an entire year playing a game and then, in a panic, think "what?!? How did it get to be 2011?? I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A MASTER'S DEGREE BY NOW!"
The difference between this and the previous Sims games (which I've never played) seems to be that you can place buildings wherever you want and you don't have to care about the people. I focus almost entirely on buildings, placing education, commerce and venue buildings as close to the best housing as I can, and I tend to ignore the everyday Sims filling the streets and cars.
Anyway, I started out with "Wheeler's Ferry" (name generated by the Sims' AI), where everyone's happy all the time. My populace is ecstatic. I imagine them still running through metaphorical daisy-covered fields even now, as I focus all my efforts on keeping the people of Farmitron in line.
Farmitron was an effort to marry the two lifestyles that intrigue me most: rural and cyberpunk. Yes, it was probably doomed from the start. But there's a river running through the center of my map, and I thought that if agriculture and small-town life dominated the west, with bustling commerce, manufacturing, and education just across the river to the east, everyone could find what they were looking for.
I didn't expect the farming Sims to start going rogue and shutting down their workplaces -- orchards, communal farms and co-ops -- probably because they didn't have enough venues to enjoy. I suppose one could have predicted that two "general stores" wouldn't be enough for Sims who could see the cybertech skyline just across the covered bridge, but I figured if they wanted to live in "solar worker barracks," they'd just move to the city.
I made compromises, but mostly authoritative ones. I put up another asylum (which calls in workers who are playing hooky because they're mad); I put up a Ministry of Propaganda and a Ministry of Thought. I put in some state prisons and detention centers. Somehow, people didn't settle down. They're all trending "rogue" now, and shutting down multinational headquarters and skyscrapers downtown.
I wonder what these people want from me. They just seem to be rioting for the sake of it -- most rogues say they've just been out for a long time and are looking forward to going to a venue to relax, which isn't something I can make them do -- and I find myself trending increasingly Authoritative in dealing with the befuddling masses.
So in true liberal-arts-educated form, I'm going to improve all of their housing. I'm going to put up rural-living-appropriate venues in the farm parts of Farmitron.
And if they're not happy with that?
Meteor shower.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
SYD #9
Cat’s hair is still there, though wardrobists have gone back to a few of their old tricks with her dress, which makes her look vaguely like a mermaid.
The judges talk about this week’s hardships – America decides who goes on, partners are mixed up, Debbie Allen is guest-judging, etc.
All the girls dance Bollywood together this week. It’s always fun to see Bollywood, but this is extra-super fun, as Bollywood is best done in groups of people anyway, and all the girls are excellent. As usual when watching “minority” dances, I feel like crying, inexplicably.
Kayla’s with Evan this week, which is rather disappointing. Kayla says she’s glad to be paired with someone so unique, but Evan just says she’s the tallest girl and he’s the shortest guy – which sums up why I think Kayla is awesome and Evan just so-so. They’ve gotten the waltz, which is also disappointing.
Nigel says he likes to see a difference between a waltz and Viennese waltz, but that this could have been a nightmare and wasn’t.
Mary says the song “was about power, pleasure and pain,” and says Evan lacked power, but was able to at least lift her well. She says Kayla “never disappoint[s] anyone,” that Kayla’s “growing leaps and bounds,” and finishes by yelling “fabulous!”
Debbie Allen says to Evan “you handled your big woman, baby!” She says Kayla’s “like white lightning.”
Brandon’s solo is to a remake of “In Your Eyes,” and has the frenetic energy of most untutored/unchoreographed contemporary dancers. A bunch of blond teens in the front row scream at him (predictably).
Janette got Ade, who says he’s happy to have a fiery Miami girl. She’s the shortest girl and he’s the tallest guy…so the opposite of Kayla and Evan. They’re doing slow hip-hop, and Janette is sexy-secretary until Ade whips off her miniskirt to reveal tiny yellow shorts. He’s got a pick in his hair at the beginning which seems to have a magic effect. (The song is “Love Sex Magic” by Ciara with J-Tim, so I guess it makes sense.)
Nigel says he’s going to wear a pick in his hair next week. He says Ade’s “got funk” and Cat points out that he’s “talking seriously with two pencils in [his] hair.” Nigel retorts that he’s “going to try to talk Mary out of her clothes later!” and then says (sounding like Jim Dale doing Haggarid) “I’m only kidding!”
Mary actually tells Nigel to “cut the crap,” and she seems serious. I laughed through her talking.
Randi’s solo is to “Dream” by Priscilla Ann, which is a good choice for her contemporary dance. She doesn’t have the frenetic attitude or outfit we often see from contemporary dancers.
Kupono’s solo actually gives him a sense of character, though it’s not easy to describe. He’s wearing chains and a torn-up mesh shirt, but it doesn’t look as hip-hop as that sounds.
Jeanine is paired with Jason after each of them lost their partners last week. TRAVIS FROM SEASON TWO is choreographing them. They’re childhood friends “hooking up for the first time,” Travis says. It’s got a few good moments, in particular the violent ones where Jeanine pushes him away or “hits” him. They toss a heart pendant on a chain back and forth, and it really does come off as a struggle between them and trying to decide whether to be together or not.
Nigel says Travis did “fabulous work that was only bettered by the people that danced it.” He says Jeanine was great and that she finally had a partner that could keep up with him.
Mary doesn’t speak, and Nigel says “Mary is lost for words – how brilliant is that everybody?!? How brilliant is that?? I want you two to do the same routine every week if Mary’s at a loss for words.” But Mary’s silence is a preface to crying, as anyone who’s seen Mary over these years knows. She praises Travis and says no one should underestimate Jason’s “strength and power,” and that Jeanine “has not missed a step.” “Do I think you’re a star? Yes I do! Wait a minute, Nigel, I hear something!” She acts like she’s screaming, but no sound comes out. (Did they cut her mike or was she silent?)
Debbie Allen, who taught Travis (and Danny from the subsequent season [3]), praises Travis and says this show has “evangelized dance like nothing else has, and [she is] thrilled to be a witness.” She says she can’t wait to buy the ticket to see it live on the road.
Melissa dances a ballet solo to contemporary music that actually frames her talents relatively well – majestic without being overstated.
Evan’s technique is better in a solo than he’s been in other styles, though he’s dressed like a waiter.
Kayla’s solo, also contemporary, is earnest without being too over-the-top, mainly because she’s chosen “Rock Your Soul” by Elisa.
Randi’s got Kupono. They’ve got the paso doble, which always suffers from old-tyme music.
But Randi’s got long hair – what is that, a wig? Is she wearing a wig? She spinning on the floor and her wig-hair is all over – oh, it’s over. I’m pretty sure it’s a wig.
Nigel mentions the choreography, but it doesn’t sound that awesome for the dancers – and, no, he says the dancing wasn’t as good as the choreography. Kupono wasn’t strong enough. He tells Randi he’s not sure about the wig. He said the partnering didn’t work for him.
Mary says this fell below the standard for her. “Mediocre will not cut it in this competition.”
Debbie Allen says “it’s hard not to agree.”
Ade has a solo and chooses “Unchained Melody.” He dances in jeans (only jeans), which is a really good move, and he does a backflip. Congrats, Ade. You’re staying around.
Jason’s solo was a bit old-tyme speakeasy, which was a nice change of pace. He had cute suspenders on, too.
Melissa and Brandon do a funky Broadway routine by Tyce Diorio to “Age of Aquarius.” They got stage fog at the end.
Nigel says it was great that Tyce “remembers” times he’s actually too young to remember.
Mary says it was “groovy,” and Debbie Allen says “you really evoked the true harmony.”
Janette solos to “This Is Miami,” which was a brilliant choice for a salsa dancer.
And now the guys do African dance. The white boys complain. It was alright, though probably not worth the screaming all the blond girls do.
The judges liked it.
I liked Bollywood the best.
The judges talk about this week’s hardships – America decides who goes on, partners are mixed up, Debbie Allen is guest-judging, etc.
All the girls dance Bollywood together this week. It’s always fun to see Bollywood, but this is extra-super fun, as Bollywood is best done in groups of people anyway, and all the girls are excellent. As usual when watching “minority” dances, I feel like crying, inexplicably.
Kayla’s with Evan this week, which is rather disappointing. Kayla says she’s glad to be paired with someone so unique, but Evan just says she’s the tallest girl and he’s the shortest guy – which sums up why I think Kayla is awesome and Evan just so-so. They’ve gotten the waltz, which is also disappointing.
Nigel says he likes to see a difference between a waltz and Viennese waltz, but that this could have been a nightmare and wasn’t.
Mary says the song “was about power, pleasure and pain,” and says Evan lacked power, but was able to at least lift her well. She says Kayla “never disappoint[s] anyone,” that Kayla’s “growing leaps and bounds,” and finishes by yelling “fabulous!”
Debbie Allen says to Evan “you handled your big woman, baby!” She says Kayla’s “like white lightning.”
Brandon’s solo is to a remake of “In Your Eyes,” and has the frenetic energy of most untutored/unchoreographed contemporary dancers. A bunch of blond teens in the front row scream at him (predictably).
Janette got Ade, who says he’s happy to have a fiery Miami girl. She’s the shortest girl and he’s the tallest guy…so the opposite of Kayla and Evan. They’re doing slow hip-hop, and Janette is sexy-secretary until Ade whips off her miniskirt to reveal tiny yellow shorts. He’s got a pick in his hair at the beginning which seems to have a magic effect. (The song is “Love Sex Magic” by Ciara with J-Tim, so I guess it makes sense.)
Nigel says he’s going to wear a pick in his hair next week. He says Ade’s “got funk” and Cat points out that he’s “talking seriously with two pencils in [his] hair.” Nigel retorts that he’s “going to try to talk Mary out of her clothes later!” and then says (sounding like Jim Dale doing Haggarid) “I’m only kidding!”
Mary actually tells Nigel to “cut the crap,” and she seems serious. I laughed through her talking.
Randi’s solo is to “Dream” by Priscilla Ann, which is a good choice for her contemporary dance. She doesn’t have the frenetic attitude or outfit we often see from contemporary dancers.
Kupono’s solo actually gives him a sense of character, though it’s not easy to describe. He’s wearing chains and a torn-up mesh shirt, but it doesn’t look as hip-hop as that sounds.
Jeanine is paired with Jason after each of them lost their partners last week. TRAVIS FROM SEASON TWO is choreographing them. They’re childhood friends “hooking up for the first time,” Travis says. It’s got a few good moments, in particular the violent ones where Jeanine pushes him away or “hits” him. They toss a heart pendant on a chain back and forth, and it really does come off as a struggle between them and trying to decide whether to be together or not.
Nigel says Travis did “fabulous work that was only bettered by the people that danced it.” He says Jeanine was great and that she finally had a partner that could keep up with him.
Mary doesn’t speak, and Nigel says “Mary is lost for words – how brilliant is that everybody?!? How brilliant is that?? I want you two to do the same routine every week if Mary’s at a loss for words.” But Mary’s silence is a preface to crying, as anyone who’s seen Mary over these years knows. She praises Travis and says no one should underestimate Jason’s “strength and power,” and that Jeanine “has not missed a step.” “Do I think you’re a star? Yes I do! Wait a minute, Nigel, I hear something!” She acts like she’s screaming, but no sound comes out. (Did they cut her mike or was she silent?)
Debbie Allen, who taught Travis (and Danny from the subsequent season [3]), praises Travis and says this show has “evangelized dance like nothing else has, and [she is] thrilled to be a witness.” She says she can’t wait to buy the ticket to see it live on the road.
Melissa dances a ballet solo to contemporary music that actually frames her talents relatively well – majestic without being overstated.
Evan’s technique is better in a solo than he’s been in other styles, though he’s dressed like a waiter.
Kayla’s solo, also contemporary, is earnest without being too over-the-top, mainly because she’s chosen “Rock Your Soul” by Elisa.
Randi’s got Kupono. They’ve got the paso doble, which always suffers from old-tyme music.
But Randi’s got long hair – what is that, a wig? Is she wearing a wig? She spinning on the floor and her wig-hair is all over – oh, it’s over. I’m pretty sure it’s a wig.
Nigel mentions the choreography, but it doesn’t sound that awesome for the dancers – and, no, he says the dancing wasn’t as good as the choreography. Kupono wasn’t strong enough. He tells Randi he’s not sure about the wig. He said the partnering didn’t work for him.
Mary says this fell below the standard for her. “Mediocre will not cut it in this competition.”
Debbie Allen says “it’s hard not to agree.”
Ade has a solo and chooses “Unchained Melody.” He dances in jeans (only jeans), which is a really good move, and he does a backflip. Congrats, Ade. You’re staying around.
Jason’s solo was a bit old-tyme speakeasy, which was a nice change of pace. He had cute suspenders on, too.
Melissa and Brandon do a funky Broadway routine by Tyce Diorio to “Age of Aquarius.” They got stage fog at the end.
Nigel says it was great that Tyce “remembers” times he’s actually too young to remember.
Mary says it was “groovy,” and Debbie Allen says “you really evoked the true harmony.”
Janette solos to “This Is Miami,” which was a brilliant choice for a salsa dancer.
And now the guys do African dance. The white boys complain. It was alright, though probably not worth the screaming all the blond girls do.
The judges liked it.
I liked Bollywood the best.
Purse line: Post
These are made of Washington Post issues that I actually brought with me from D.C. when I moved (many thanks and apologies to those who helped me move...).
These purses are made from the Post January 1-3, 2007.
These purses are made from the Post January 1-3, 2007.
It's hard to see the weaving on the first purse (above), but it's larger and more obvious on the second one (below), which is also a smaller purse. These are front views.
The "beads" that make up the strap are also made of the same papers (i.e., the Post for the Post line, the Phoenix for the Phoenix, etc).
This second Post purse is the only one I've done a 3-2 bead strap on. All the others are 2-2...if you can see what I'm saying. (The second purse's strap is thicker.) I decided 3-2 wasn't necessarily a structural advantage, though someone might find it more aesthetically pleasing.
And the bottom of purse 2...
The "beads" that make up the strap are also made of the same papers (i.e., the Post for the Post line, the Phoenix for the Phoenix, etc).
This second Post purse is the only one I've done a 3-2 bead strap on. All the others are 2-2...if you can see what I'm saying. (The second purse's strap is thicker.) I decided 3-2 wasn't necessarily a structural advantage, though someone might find it more aesthetically pleasing.
And the bottom of purse 2...
And the back of purse 2.
Gerald Ford died during the days these papers were put out -- so somewhere in these purses is his obituary.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Purse line: Phoenix
Friend Jenny got my prototype of this line, which unfortunately makes it the worst one.This is a better one. The Boston Phoenix is a colorful and sturdy paper, and an entire purse can be made of a few copies of the same week's edition, so you'd know exactly which paper the purse was made from. (I forget whether this one was made entirely of a May edition, or random August 2008 ones that I'd inexplicably saved.)
This was the first one I'd tried with a V-shaped cover flap.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Local Trivia: Elaine
Probably most readers have picked up on the story of Elaine, the portrait I picked up for free from an estate sale last year. I hung her up in my living room after she spent a long time leaning against the wall, feeling finally committed to having a once-strange/now-familiar face greet me every day as I come and go.
To be clear, it's the portrait-woman, this representation of whoever she was in real life, that I've named Elaine. I have no idea what the real woman's name was, whether she's still alive or not, whether she'd like a simulacrum of her image hung in my living room. I suppose I'm risking something by posting Elaine's face here, if the real-life owner of that face ever tries to find her.
But I thought you should meet. Elaine, meet my CU audience.
Continue Unprotected, meet a digital picture of Elaine: Digilaine.
Wallet: Arlandria
Here's a wallet that could run upwards of $100,000,000 on the black market...but I'd sell it to you for $6.
It's thin, but that's partly because there's no change purse section. I haven't figured out how to make paper strong enough to handle an old-lady's worth of pennies. You/she will have to keep them in your pocket or, if there are too many for that, a Ziploc bag.
This wallet is also going to Debbie and Jeff -- probably more Jeff, since a purse can't be carried around by a dude.
(Note: $20 and $10 provided by P.C. The $1 is mine. None are included in purchase price of wallet.)
Actually, I think the wallet is pretty cool: It's laminated in tape, and as you can see, it fits cards really well. (I didn't put any identifying cards in there, so sorry everyone -- no stealing my credit card number today...though now you know I shop at Stop & Shop, am a Triple-A and Blockbuster Video member, and that someone once gave me a gift-credit card.)
It's thin, but that's partly because there's no change purse section. I haven't figured out how to make paper strong enough to handle an old-lady's worth of pennies. You/she will have to keep them in your pocket or, if there are too many for that, a Ziploc bag.
This wallet is also going to Debbie and Jeff -- probably more Jeff, since a purse can't be carried around by a dude.
(Note: $20 and $10 provided by P.C. The $1 is mine. None are included in purchase price of wallet.)
Purse line: Arlandria (architecture plans)
I finally stole (borrowed overnight, whatever -- I really am more of a smartass than a badass) my family's digital camera to take photos of things.
In fact, stay tuned for photos of other purse lines I'm working on -- mostly newspaper.
Here are a few of the architecture bag that friends Debbie and Jeff will have bought by the time I send it to them. It would normally "retail" (meaning I would mercilessly demand that someone pay) at $20 + $5 shipping.
That's right: I'm becoming one of those annoying bloggers who post pictures of stuff you're supposed to be interested in, and I'm trying to sell you stuff. Take that, CU audience.
In fact, stay tuned for photos of other purse lines I'm working on -- mostly newspaper.
(Wait, no...come back......I need your moneyyyyy........)
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Confessions XXXIX
I ordered "Fievel Goes West" on DVD from Amazon this week, because I think it's the best sequel ever (at least animated; I'd give in to "Empire Strikes Back"-o-philes) with an all-star cast including John Cleese, Dom Deluise, and Jimmy Stewart in his last movie ever.
I also ordered "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street" (aka, "October Eve on Sesame Street" for Mellingerites who didn't want any reference to Christmas two months in advance).
I already own "Milo and Otis," the first season of "Thundercats," and much of the first season of "Fraggle Rock" and "Masters of the Universe," though I almost never even consider watching them; owning them has a security-blanket effect.
I also ordered "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street" (aka, "October Eve on Sesame Street" for Mellingerites who didn't want any reference to Christmas two months in advance).
I already own "Milo and Otis," the first season of "Thundercats," and much of the first season of "Fraggle Rock" and "Masters of the Universe," though I almost never even consider watching them; owning them has a security-blanket effect.
PSA: Seriously, this is what I'm trying to say: The REST of your life may be a diversion.
From an article in the NYTimes:
"Nine years ago, however, I was a theater professor in Austin, Tex. I had drawn all my life, but had never taken an art class. I was a compulsive doodler who had never viewed drawing as anything other than a diversion until, quite suddenly, I realized that it was actually the rest of my life that had been the diversion."
Friday, July 10, 2009
Confessions XXXVIII
I listen to Jars of Clay for a depressing-Christian musical interlude.
I turn to Caedmon’s Call for happy-Christian times.
I think I do this because I listened to Jars of Clay when I was most severely depressed (at 15) and, on the other hand, because Caedmon’s Call lyrics present a strict predestinationism, and it makes me happy to think that I’m not responsible for my own actions.
I turn to Caedmon’s Call for happy-Christian times.
I think I do this because I listened to Jars of Clay when I was most severely depressed (at 15) and, on the other hand, because Caedmon’s Call lyrics present a strict predestinationism, and it makes me happy to think that I’m not responsible for my own actions.
MFHTDWF #10
Principle: Don’t kill anybody.
While it is both fascinating and terrifying to hear that someone has murdered another person – particularly that someone you “know” has murdered another person – famous people who have killed other people, with the exception of gansta rappers (who earn more street cred for having killed someone else) and serial killers (who become famous by means of their killing), cease fascinating and terrifying their audience once the trial begins.
Courtroom trials are boring. In fact, they are so boring that the only thing worth going to court over is sex. (See MFHTDWF #11.) A murder trial may be the most yawn-worthy of all trials, since it’s long and involves a lot of boring details.
If you are a gangsta rapper with the bad fortune of having been put on trial before you could fake your own death, thus precipitating a popularity unrivalled by the living, you should follow the principles of MFHTDWF #11, using an alibi that is suspiciously thin, explicitly sexual, or both (though it is best to be able to prove you are participating in the sexual exploits you claim to be participating in). If you are a serial killer, you should confess immediately in order to get as much fame as you can. Serial killers in jail are more fascinating and terrifying than serial killers on the loose – escaped or free serial killers are only terrifying and infamous rather than famous.
On the whole, however, it’s important to avoid even appearing to have killed anyone, which is the best way to avoid being associated with a boring trial that will invariably leave you either in jail (and out of the public eye and so less famous) or free but still a killer in the public eye.
Famous people who follow this principle: Three of the Baldwin brothers, including Alec, Britney Spears, Yanni
Famous people who are exceptions to this principle: Tupac, John Wayne Gacy
Famous people who fail at this principle: O.J. Simpson
While it is both fascinating and terrifying to hear that someone has murdered another person – particularly that someone you “know” has murdered another person – famous people who have killed other people, with the exception of gansta rappers (who earn more street cred for having killed someone else) and serial killers (who become famous by means of their killing), cease fascinating and terrifying their audience once the trial begins.
Courtroom trials are boring. In fact, they are so boring that the only thing worth going to court over is sex. (See MFHTDWF #11.) A murder trial may be the most yawn-worthy of all trials, since it’s long and involves a lot of boring details.
If you are a gangsta rapper with the bad fortune of having been put on trial before you could fake your own death, thus precipitating a popularity unrivalled by the living, you should follow the principles of MFHTDWF #11, using an alibi that is suspiciously thin, explicitly sexual, or both (though it is best to be able to prove you are participating in the sexual exploits you claim to be participating in). If you are a serial killer, you should confess immediately in order to get as much fame as you can. Serial killers in jail are more fascinating and terrifying than serial killers on the loose – escaped or free serial killers are only terrifying and infamous rather than famous.
On the whole, however, it’s important to avoid even appearing to have killed anyone, which is the best way to avoid being associated with a boring trial that will invariably leave you either in jail (and out of the public eye and so less famous) or free but still a killer in the public eye.
Famous people who follow this principle: Three of the Baldwin brothers, including Alec, Britney Spears, Yanni
Famous people who are exceptions to this principle: Tupac, John Wayne Gacy
Famous people who fail at this principle: O.J. Simpson
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
SYD #5
Did Cat get a haircut??? Or is it just somehow fixed up behind her head by a gross of bobby pins?
If’s it’s cut, it’s extreme.
Two dances from everyone tonight, FINALLY, and after this cut we’re down to the top 10. (I'm going to present the dances in order, rather than grouping the dances by dancer. It's easier for me...but I'll make up for the annoyance of this by keeping the report on each couple's second dance short.)
The guest judge this week is Tyce Diorio.
Melissa and Ade – Disco by Doriana to “Move on Up” (which was sampled by Kanye, so it should sound familiar to those who know “I’ma touch the sky.”) It’s fast, and their success in the pas de deux last week is mirrored in the lifts’ gracefulness. Melissa falls on the last hold, though she recovers with spunk.
Nigel compliments their energy and comments on last week’s pas de deux as well.
Mary says “Doriana said you need to pray to the disco god, well can I get an ‘amen?’” [Tyce: “Amen!”]
Tyce’s turn: “That was frickin’ great.”
Kayla and Kupono – contemporary with Mia Michaels, about addiction. Kupono was the addiction, Kayla the addicted.
Nigel says it was very powerful, that Kayla’s hair gets in the way sometimes, and Kupono’s smirk was great.
Mary says it was great and that Kayla was flawless.
Tyce says dancing with Mia’s choreography makes you an actor, and says it’s “an experience.” He says Kayla is “a beast…a phenomenal, beautiful, incredible beast.”
Caitlin and Jason – foxtrot to “Minnie the Moocher” Caitlin is wearing a whole dress, with a silver brocaded top and a big green skirt. It’s nice to see a ballroom dancer clothed for once, though the flips she does leaves little to the imagination.
Nigel compliments Caitlin immediately, saying she looked like Grace Kelly, then says Jason’s footwork was “very, very good indeed. I think someone’s been having a go at you between rehearsal and tonight.”
Mary says the style suits them and solicits cheering from the audience.
Tyce challenges Mary to an impromptu, quick snap-off (like thumb wrestling, I suppose), and wins. He then tells the couple that they “could have glided more,” but that they were good.
Philip and Jeanine – the Russian dance Josh and Twitch did last year. It’s not just a dance-off here, though, as they do some more folk dancing in the middle that involves partnering and synchronization. It was pretty good, though not as high-powered as last year’s finale dance.
Nigel is clapping, but says “I’m just not sure we should have thrown that [at them]”…”this felt a little too folky, and anything like this you need a lot of vodka to go with it, and I didn’t have any I’m afraid.”
Mary says Jeanine’s twirling moves made her believe she was a Russian folk dancer, and says Philip’s dancing on the floor was something no one in the audience could have done.
Tyce says he thinks they did well for the three days they worked on it, saying Jeanine was excellent, and Philip was surprisingly good (though that was due to low expectations).
Randi and Evan – hip hop with Tabitha and Napoleon, in which Randi and Evan fell in love and Randi just found out she’s pregnant. It’s an intricate routine and features a marriage proposal in the middle.
Nigel says they’re one of his fave couples and is glad Tab and Nap didn’t ask them to be “urban.”
Mary says she was expecting “a train wreck,” but said she thought they did a great job.
Tyce compliments the choreographers, says he thinks Evan needs to “find more,” but that he loves Randi.
Brandon and Janette – Tango. Her dress is pretty interesting, actually, short, but covers almost everything it should. The lifts are impressively graceful, and their legs fly around each other. It wasn’t a remarkable routine, but they seemed to do a pretty good job of it.
Nigel is silent for a moment, then stands to applaud. Mary and Tyce stand, too.
Cat asks Brandon and Janette if they’ve got anything to say to their choreographers. Janette says they’re amazing, and amazing dancers.
Nigel says that “for a ballroom routine, that was as close to perfection as I’ve ever seen on this stage, ever…[about Mary’s impending comments] if that train ain’t bloody coming, there’s gonna be trouble.”
Mary goes into her “you’re not disappointing me one ounce up there, no you’re not.” Mary stands up to scream that they’ve got first class tickets, and Nigel yells “woo-woo” like a train was coming.
Tyce says some stuff that doesn’t make sense about juice, and Liz says “I have a really awesome juicer.”
The judges loved it.
Cat announces that starting next week will be the shake-up: new partners every week.
Melissa and Ade do a waltz for their second dance.
Nigel says it was “very beautiful” and mentions the choreographers. Mary shouts about it and to Cat, she says “pipe down, English muffin.” Cat tells Tyce to “hit me with your thing.” (Wow. Uh, that’s what she said, eh?) Tyce gives a somewhat tepid review but says he liked it.
Kayla and Kupono dance Broadway – a “love at first sight” routine. It’s cheesy in all the Broadway ways (and no surprise, since it’s danced to a West Side Story score song).
Nigel says “there was no feeling of true emotion…and getting into character.” Mary liked it better, and Tyce thanked the choreographer, mentioned the score, and agreed with Nigel.
Caitlin and Jason do lyrical jazz with Mandy Moore (boo). It was better than the usual Mandy Moore routine, which Nigel notes (though not as denigratingly as I note it). Mary says “it wasn’t magic tonight.” Tyce thanks Mandy as well and says their lines were “beautiful” but that he felt they played it safe.
Philip and Jeanine do the jive, with Jeanine wearing a bit more than a bikini (but just a few frills away, really). Nigel says it’s the best Philip’s been out of his own style and that the whole shebang in general was great. Mary puts Jeanine on the “Hot Tamale” train and says “you are riding into the top ten, full speed ahead.” Tyce says “I say call 1-888-Fan-Freaking-Tastic.”
Evan and Randi are doing a samba with Pasha (remember him as “Russian ballroom guy from previous season”?) and Anya choreographing. They start with an intricate series of lifts, despite the fact that Randi’s wearing heels that a UN Inspector might consider WMDs. There’s some stuff that doesn’t seem like samba in there, but it seems to make it more interesting (so we’ll give it a pass).
Nigel “hmmmms,” asks “Evan, do I look on you as a hot samba king? [Shakes his head.] Randi, you are hot…but when I think about how Pasha and Anya would look doing it, that wasn’t as hot as them.” Mary says “well, it might not have been hot, but it was a slow sizzle going on up there,” then compliments the choreography. She says they didn’t really commit themselves, particularly Evan. Tyce says Evan should have looked at past sambas on SYD in order to become the character he had to be, and says “Randi, you carried the routine.” Mary interrupts and says “I just need to tell this girl that she is a Hot Tamale, too! [Scream].”
Brandon and Janette will dance Wade Robson jazz. They're two thieves. Nigel says there isn't anything they can throw at this pair that they won't do "brilliantly." He predicts they'll get the biggest vote of the night. Cat asks Mary if they're the strongest couple of the night for her, and Mary responds in screaming: "THE BEST FOR LAST!" Tyce says "you guys have that thing. You have that thing." He compliments Wade and says he's inspired.
And that's all she wrote, folks. Tune in tomorrow night if you want to see who gets voted off the tour.
If’s it’s cut, it’s extreme.
Two dances from everyone tonight, FINALLY, and after this cut we’re down to the top 10. (I'm going to present the dances in order, rather than grouping the dances by dancer. It's easier for me...but I'll make up for the annoyance of this by keeping the report on each couple's second dance short.)
The guest judge this week is Tyce Diorio.
Melissa and Ade – Disco by Doriana to “Move on Up” (which was sampled by Kanye, so it should sound familiar to those who know “I’ma touch the sky.”) It’s fast, and their success in the pas de deux last week is mirrored in the lifts’ gracefulness. Melissa falls on the last hold, though she recovers with spunk.
Nigel compliments their energy and comments on last week’s pas de deux as well.
Mary says “Doriana said you need to pray to the disco god, well can I get an ‘amen?’” [Tyce: “Amen!”]
Tyce’s turn: “That was frickin’ great.”
Kayla and Kupono – contemporary with Mia Michaels, about addiction. Kupono was the addiction, Kayla the addicted.
Nigel says it was very powerful, that Kayla’s hair gets in the way sometimes, and Kupono’s smirk was great.
Mary says it was great and that Kayla was flawless.
Tyce says dancing with Mia’s choreography makes you an actor, and says it’s “an experience.” He says Kayla is “a beast…a phenomenal, beautiful, incredible beast.”
Caitlin and Jason – foxtrot to “Minnie the Moocher” Caitlin is wearing a whole dress, with a silver brocaded top and a big green skirt. It’s nice to see a ballroom dancer clothed for once, though the flips she does leaves little to the imagination.
Nigel compliments Caitlin immediately, saying she looked like Grace Kelly, then says Jason’s footwork was “very, very good indeed. I think someone’s been having a go at you between rehearsal and tonight.”
Mary says the style suits them and solicits cheering from the audience.
Tyce challenges Mary to an impromptu, quick snap-off (like thumb wrestling, I suppose), and wins. He then tells the couple that they “could have glided more,” but that they were good.
Philip and Jeanine – the Russian dance Josh and Twitch did last year. It’s not just a dance-off here, though, as they do some more folk dancing in the middle that involves partnering and synchronization. It was pretty good, though not as high-powered as last year’s finale dance.
Nigel is clapping, but says “I’m just not sure we should have thrown that [at them]”…”this felt a little too folky, and anything like this you need a lot of vodka to go with it, and I didn’t have any I’m afraid.”
Mary says Jeanine’s twirling moves made her believe she was a Russian folk dancer, and says Philip’s dancing on the floor was something no one in the audience could have done.
Tyce says he thinks they did well for the three days they worked on it, saying Jeanine was excellent, and Philip was surprisingly good (though that was due to low expectations).
Randi and Evan – hip hop with Tabitha and Napoleon, in which Randi and Evan fell in love and Randi just found out she’s pregnant. It’s an intricate routine and features a marriage proposal in the middle.
Nigel says they’re one of his fave couples and is glad Tab and Nap didn’t ask them to be “urban.”
Mary says she was expecting “a train wreck,” but said she thought they did a great job.
Tyce compliments the choreographers, says he thinks Evan needs to “find more,” but that he loves Randi.
Brandon and Janette – Tango. Her dress is pretty interesting, actually, short, but covers almost everything it should. The lifts are impressively graceful, and their legs fly around each other. It wasn’t a remarkable routine, but they seemed to do a pretty good job of it.
Nigel is silent for a moment, then stands to applaud. Mary and Tyce stand, too.
Cat asks Brandon and Janette if they’ve got anything to say to their choreographers. Janette says they’re amazing, and amazing dancers.
Nigel says that “for a ballroom routine, that was as close to perfection as I’ve ever seen on this stage, ever…[about Mary’s impending comments] if that train ain’t bloody coming, there’s gonna be trouble.”
Mary goes into her “you’re not disappointing me one ounce up there, no you’re not.” Mary stands up to scream that they’ve got first class tickets, and Nigel yells “woo-woo” like a train was coming.
Tyce says some stuff that doesn’t make sense about juice, and Liz says “I have a really awesome juicer.”
The judges loved it.
Cat announces that starting next week will be the shake-up: new partners every week.
Melissa and Ade do a waltz for their second dance.
Nigel says it was “very beautiful” and mentions the choreographers. Mary shouts about it and to Cat, she says “pipe down, English muffin.” Cat tells Tyce to “hit me with your thing.” (Wow. Uh, that’s what she said, eh?) Tyce gives a somewhat tepid review but says he liked it.
Kayla and Kupono dance Broadway – a “love at first sight” routine. It’s cheesy in all the Broadway ways (and no surprise, since it’s danced to a West Side Story score song).
Nigel says “there was no feeling of true emotion…and getting into character.” Mary liked it better, and Tyce thanked the choreographer, mentioned the score, and agreed with Nigel.
Caitlin and Jason do lyrical jazz with Mandy Moore (boo). It was better than the usual Mandy Moore routine, which Nigel notes (though not as denigratingly as I note it). Mary says “it wasn’t magic tonight.” Tyce thanks Mandy as well and says their lines were “beautiful” but that he felt they played it safe.
Philip and Jeanine do the jive, with Jeanine wearing a bit more than a bikini (but just a few frills away, really). Nigel says it’s the best Philip’s been out of his own style and that the whole shebang in general was great. Mary puts Jeanine on the “Hot Tamale” train and says “you are riding into the top ten, full speed ahead.” Tyce says “I say call 1-888-Fan-Freaking-Tastic.”
Evan and Randi are doing a samba with Pasha (remember him as “Russian ballroom guy from previous season”?) and Anya choreographing. They start with an intricate series of lifts, despite the fact that Randi’s wearing heels that a UN Inspector might consider WMDs. There’s some stuff that doesn’t seem like samba in there, but it seems to make it more interesting (so we’ll give it a pass).
Nigel “hmmmms,” asks “Evan, do I look on you as a hot samba king? [Shakes his head.] Randi, you are hot…but when I think about how Pasha and Anya would look doing it, that wasn’t as hot as them.” Mary says “well, it might not have been hot, but it was a slow sizzle going on up there,” then compliments the choreography. She says they didn’t really commit themselves, particularly Evan. Tyce says Evan should have looked at past sambas on SYD in order to become the character he had to be, and says “Randi, you carried the routine.” Mary interrupts and says “I just need to tell this girl that she is a Hot Tamale, too! [Scream].”
Brandon and Janette will dance Wade Robson jazz. They're two thieves. Nigel says there isn't anything they can throw at this pair that they won't do "brilliantly." He predicts they'll get the biggest vote of the night. Cat asks Mary if they're the strongest couple of the night for her, and Mary responds in screaming: "THE BEST FOR LAST!" Tyce says "you guys have that thing. You have that thing." He compliments Wade and says he's inspired.
And that's all she wrote, folks. Tune in tomorrow night if you want to see who gets voted off the tour.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
PSA: Hipsters worse than polyamorites...unless hipsters ARE polyamorites. Then they're probably double-worse.
After a somewhat thorough (anecdotal evidence level rather than scientific-method level) investigation of the comments section on Dan Savage's sex advice column, "Savage Love," (an example of which can be found here, and which runs in the local Hartford Advocate and the Boston Phoenix) I've determined that somehow, the people at diehipster.com are both more disgusted and more likely to do something about it by the people they observe than are any of the commenters for "Savage Love."
I don't know whether "Savage Love" moderates its comments, removing any crazy reference to "the link between satanism and homosexuality" or whether the crowd at "Savage Love" just self-polices; it's likely that people who visit that website are there in order to agree on what Dan Savage says rather than lambast people who disagree. And it's less likely that straight, right-wing evangelicals (who might object to many of Dan's columns) will end up at "Savage Love" than that hipsters, the terminally self-referential, continually self-aware crowd most likely to Google "hipster" and read whatever comes up.
On the other hand, diehipster.com's telos is obvious from the get-go. It's a site set up to hate on hipsters.
The difference seems to be more than just academic, though. Somehow, hating on hipsters creates or encourages a level of sexism, racism and, I would say, fascism, that I haven't seen since the early days of the Internet (before everything you wrote in a chat room could eventually be traced back to you, and people thought the web was a great place to unleash their most vitriolic, anonymous hatreds, rather than a great place to network and advance their careers).
I'm fascinated by fascism, and, less admirably, by people who think calling someone they've never met a "c*nt," a "twat," or "fat" will improve their own lives somehow, or at least shore up their argument that "that bitch" is worth less than they are -- without citing any facts or even personal anecdotes to prove whatever marginal point they think is being made.
The trouble with this is that they do actually have a very complicated, worth-thinking-about point about assimilation, immigration, gentrification, generation gaps and attitudes.
What I get out of the message, though, is simply "get out of our neighborhood or we'll act like extremely rude, potty-mouthed third graders until we drive you out. Nyah." Rarely do commenters seem to recognize that employing personal attack in the effort to start this discussion is the equivalent of trying to get a bill through Congress by going on the Jerry Springer Show.
I don't know whether "Savage Love" moderates its comments, removing any crazy reference to "the link between satanism and homosexuality" or whether the crowd at "Savage Love" just self-polices; it's likely that people who visit that website are there in order to agree on what Dan Savage says rather than lambast people who disagree. And it's less likely that straight, right-wing evangelicals (who might object to many of Dan's columns) will end up at "Savage Love" than that hipsters, the terminally self-referential, continually self-aware crowd most likely to Google "hipster" and read whatever comes up.
On the other hand, diehipster.com's telos is obvious from the get-go. It's a site set up to hate on hipsters.
The difference seems to be more than just academic, though. Somehow, hating on hipsters creates or encourages a level of sexism, racism and, I would say, fascism, that I haven't seen since the early days of the Internet (before everything you wrote in a chat room could eventually be traced back to you, and people thought the web was a great place to unleash their most vitriolic, anonymous hatreds, rather than a great place to network and advance their careers).
I'm fascinated by fascism, and, less admirably, by people who think calling someone they've never met a "c*nt," a "twat," or "fat" will improve their own lives somehow, or at least shore up their argument that "that bitch" is worth less than they are -- without citing any facts or even personal anecdotes to prove whatever marginal point they think is being made.
The trouble with this is that they do actually have a very complicated, worth-thinking-about point about assimilation, immigration, gentrification, generation gaps and attitudes.
What I get out of the message, though, is simply "get out of our neighborhood or we'll act like extremely rude, potty-mouthed third graders until we drive you out. Nyah." Rarely do commenters seem to recognize that employing personal attack in the effort to start this discussion is the equivalent of trying to get a bill through Congress by going on the Jerry Springer Show.
Monday, July 6, 2009
PSA: I DO admire your love, Interpol. It's GRAND.
"Our Love to Admire" is $5 this month as an mp3 download on Amazon.
If you don't have it, you're required to acquire it.
You should also consider downloading Matt & Kim's "Grand," also $5. But remember: I knew and loved them FIRST.
If you don't have it, you're required to acquire it.
You should also consider downloading Matt & Kim's "Grand," also $5. But remember: I knew and loved them FIRST.
PSA: Riots. Hmm.
"URUMQI, China – Riots and street battles killed at least 140 people in China's western Xinjiang province and injured 828 others in the deadliest ethnic
unrest to hit the region in decades. Officials said Monday the death toll was expected to rise.
Police sealed off streets in parts of the provincial capital, Urumqi, after discord between ethnic Muslim Uighur people and China's Han majority erupted into violence. Witnesses reported a new, smaller protest Monday in a second city, Kashgar.
The unrest is another troubling sign for Beijing at how rapid economic development has failed to stem — and even has exacerbated — resentment among ethnic minorities, who say they are being marginalized in their homelands as Chinese migrants pour in."
Most people don't think of western China as another location for the sort of "conflict in the Middle East" fighting we hear about in Palestine or Lebanon, but that's probably because most people don't know that China actually has two minority people groups that are ethnically Muslim. Of the two, the Hui and Uighurs (as it's spelled here), the Uighurs are by far the more seriously and substantially Muslim, and much farther west than the Hui, who are mostly in the middle of the country (the equivalent of South Dakota, as opposed to Portland, Oregon).
Kashgar, where one of my former teammates from my first year in China is teaching, actually, is on the Kazakh border. People there don't speak Chinese; they speak Uighur, which is in a completely different language group (Turkic), and which uses Arabic script. In fact, speaking Chinese to a Uighur means aligning yourself with "the others," if not "the enemy".
The Chinese government has been dealing with the unrest in the region in part by encouraging Han Chinese to move west to Xinjiang province, which should cause a natural cultural shift and dilute the differences between Han and Uighur. It's a pretty ingenious nonviolent solution -- but it doesn't take into account how strongly Muslim the Uighurs are, or how being confronted with nonmuslim infidels on a daily basis might make them dig their heels in deeper rather than surrender to the cultural gestalt caused by an influx of Han.
There may just be too much difference to overcome it through everyday, bit-by-bit assimilation.
I mean, according to Jared Diamond's Guns, Germs and Steel, the only domesticated "for food" animal native to China is the pig.
Think about how that goes over with Muslims.
PSA: If she finds something else, she'll inform us.
Recent comment on my blog, which I'm going to delete:
Thanks, Maria. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're looking forward to your polite brand of spam commenting ("I'll inform you"? "Best Regards"?) in the future."Hi Friends,
I Find Absolutely FREE PlayBoy & Penthous
http://www.girlsupdates.com
If I find something else I'll inform you.
Best Regards,
Maria"
Local Trivia: Jesus appears to make a stand on social liberality in Connecticut (that, or fiscal conservativism)
Carved into the wood in a picnic pavillion at the top of the hill at the picnic area at Sleeping Giant State Park, Hamden, CT:
"JESUS HATES YOU."
"JESUS HATES YOU."
Sunday, July 5, 2009
PSA: Americorps continues to be great.
Well, I've created a request to have the remainder of my Americorps grant money sent over to Brandeis to fund the rest of my to-be-useless M.A.
Hurrah for Americorps...though it does still seem ridiculous to me that they tax that disbursement when they granted it to me in the first place. Ah, well. You know what they say about beggars and choosers.
Hurrah for Americorps...though it does still seem ridiculous to me that they tax that disbursement when they granted it to me in the first place. Ah, well. You know what they say about beggars and choosers.
PSA: Master's of rhetoric, at least.
The New York Times is currently discussing master's degrees, and how people feel about having gotten them after they've gotten them.
Very timely for me, I'd say, and I suppose the horror stories should give me (even more) pause. But like Obama, who thought nuclear disarmament was possible back in college, I'm a naive, head-in-the-clouds intellectual. I'm going to go with the "totally worth it" crowd -- at least to the tune of one year's salary in my current field, which is what the experts say is feasible.
And maybe I'll end up as president.
Very timely for me, I'd say, and I suppose the horror stories should give me (even more) pause. But like Obama, who thought nuclear disarmament was possible back in college, I'm a naive, head-in-the-clouds intellectual. I'm going to go with the "totally worth it" crowd -- at least to the tune of one year's salary in my current field, which is what the experts say is feasible.
And maybe I'll end up as president.
Local Trivia: Connecticut and billboards
Proving once again that CT has a love-hate relationship with billboards -- the advertisements, not the top-ten-hits chart -- I passed a Carlton Cards store at the Buckland Hills mall on a Newbury Comics excursion with P.C. last week and saw a 90% off sign that caused me to cross (people) traffic to get a better look.
The 90% was off some weird-looking leather "animal" type things (I think one was meant to be an inchworm? That's how weird they were) and some bags in wallet, tote-in-handbag, and large-purse sizes. They were interesting, so I looked closer and saw that they were made by "Vy&Elle" -- out of recycled billboards.
They were way, way too expensive normally, and I didn't even bother looking too closely at the large purse that would have cost around $6 (or $7.50 for a different one), but I did buy a new wallet-type ID card carrier (to replace the MC Falcons one I've had these last six years, which is just about kaput) and a tote that would hold makeup during travel, if I ever used any. (You may be pleased to learn, however, that I do use shampoo and deodorant.)
I paid about $3.50 for the two items together.
While I applaud Vy&Elle's efforts to recycle stuff that would be thrown away into cool handbags, and while I'm impressed that their handbags could be taken out in the rain without being destroyed, I wonder about their prices, and question their product placement (in the Carlton Cards? Who's going to walk into the equivalent of a Hallmark Store to pay $75 for a handbag?).
I guess it's good that new urban chic (or discounted, discontinued urban chic?) is available even in Connecticut, but I'm also beginning to wonder what the people with money and power who might buy these things are carrying in those bags.
(Probably not granola.)
The 90% was off some weird-looking leather "animal" type things (I think one was meant to be an inchworm? That's how weird they were) and some bags in wallet, tote-in-handbag, and large-purse sizes. They were interesting, so I looked closer and saw that they were made by "Vy&Elle" -- out of recycled billboards.
They were way, way too expensive normally, and I didn't even bother looking too closely at the large purse that would have cost around $6 (or $7.50 for a different one), but I did buy a new wallet-type ID card carrier (to replace the MC Falcons one I've had these last six years, which is just about kaput) and a tote that would hold makeup during travel, if I ever used any. (You may be pleased to learn, however, that I do use shampoo and deodorant.)
I paid about $3.50 for the two items together.
While I applaud Vy&Elle's efforts to recycle stuff that would be thrown away into cool handbags, and while I'm impressed that their handbags could be taken out in the rain without being destroyed, I wonder about their prices, and question their product placement (in the Carlton Cards? Who's going to walk into the equivalent of a Hallmark Store to pay $75 for a handbag?).
I guess it's good that new urban chic (or discounted, discontinued urban chic?) is available even in Connecticut, but I'm also beginning to wonder what the people with money and power who might buy these things are carrying in those bags.
(Probably not granola.)
Saturday, July 4, 2009
PSA: Zombie triathlon
If in the future we have need of newly devised sporting events that involve competing zombies, I believe the revised triathlon should include the following events:
1. Staggering
2. Lurching
3. Feasting [on brains]
That is all.
1. Staggering
2. Lurching
3. Feasting [on brains]
That is all.
PSA: Recession Aggression with Office Depot
On hulu.com, The Office episodes 5.19-5.21 (at least) offer you the option of watching a long version of an Office Depot ad rather than shorter ads interrupting the episode.
If you choose, as I do, to watch the longer ad and get it out of the way, you'll find what I think is an ingenious advertisement for a fake product: The "Recession Aggression" giant beanbag-type product was designed, apparently, to help small business owners cope with the economic downturn, and the ad features such suggestions for abusing the beanbag as "brand it with a branding iron," "call it on the phone and keep hanging up," and "take it camping and throw it in the campfire."
The longest, most bizarre and therefore funniest suggestion is "Rent a dentists [sic] office for three to six hours. Rent a dentist costume that same afternoon. Invite it over and tell it you're a dentist. Proceed to take all of its teeth out, Then say: 'I thought you wanted to have no teeth. I'm not a dentist. Get out of my office.'"
To put this tongue-in-cheek-but-with-the-same-mock-sincerity-as-many-of-the-show's-characters ad on an Office episode is brilliant.
But what I think is probably the best detail is the fact that the ad is advertising Office Depot -- an office supply outlet store, the exact kind of company Dunder-Mifflin is fighting against to maintain its bottom line -- but gives only the website TheSurvivaloftheSmartest.com.
If you choose, as I do, to watch the longer ad and get it out of the way, you'll find what I think is an ingenious advertisement for a fake product: The "Recession Aggression" giant beanbag-type product was designed, apparently, to help small business owners cope with the economic downturn, and the ad features such suggestions for abusing the beanbag as "brand it with a branding iron," "call it on the phone and keep hanging up," and "take it camping and throw it in the campfire."
The longest, most bizarre and therefore funniest suggestion is "Rent a dentists [sic] office for three to six hours. Rent a dentist costume that same afternoon. Invite it over and tell it you're a dentist. Proceed to take all of its teeth out, Then say: 'I thought you wanted to have no teeth. I'm not a dentist. Get out of my office.'"
To put this tongue-in-cheek-but-with-the-same-mock-sincerity-as-many-of-the-show's-characters ad on an Office episode is brilliant.
But what I think is probably the best detail is the fact that the ad is advertising Office Depot -- an office supply outlet store, the exact kind of company Dunder-Mifflin is fighting against to maintain its bottom line -- but gives only the website TheSurvivaloftheSmartest.com.
(Because there really had been a copperhead in the basement last week.)
Girl: "There's something on the floor."
Me: "What?"
Girl: "There's something on the floor and it's black. It looks like a snake."
Me: "Where? Did you put the iron away?"
Girl: "Yes. Downstairs, it looks like a snake on the floor."
[I get up and walk down the stairs to look at the living room floor.]
Girl: "It's freaking me out."
Me, looking at the snakelike object: "That's a belt."
Girl: "Oh."
[We both laugh.]
Me: "What?"
Girl: "There's something on the floor and it's black. It looks like a snake."
Me: "Where? Did you put the iron away?"
Girl: "Yes. Downstairs, it looks like a snake on the floor."
[I get up and walk down the stairs to look at the living room floor.]
Girl: "It's freaking me out."
Me, looking at the snakelike object: "That's a belt."
Girl: "Oh."
[We both laugh.]
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
SYD #4
Cat is wearing an actual dress again this week, pink with a black bow. It seems clear that wardrobing has been following my blog.
Mia, the guest judge for this week (so no Mia Michaels routines tonight), admits that she sees Brandon’s improvement since she excoriated him during tryouts.
Janette and Brandon – cha cha, and Brandon says “not only is it fast, it’s dangerous.” At least it’s to a Pussycat Dolls song and not an old-tyme ballroom tune. Janette’s sequin costume looks like a combination of figure skating leotard and curtain from the 70’s. It was well danced, and
Nigel said “it was possibly the BEST DAMN CHA CHA I’VE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW. EVER. EVER.” He says he can imagine “Brandon really pulling his finger out” – of his ass??? – “with Mia on the panel. He’s amazed that they’re doing so well without ever having drawn their style yet.
Nigel says he can hear a train coming when it’s Mary’s turn to critique. Mary makes us respect her a little more than usual by citing technique in complimenting Janette, then lets her voice track higher and higher before offering them “two first class tickets on the hot tamale train!”
Mia says Brandon is amazing and that she’s going to “dig in and drag [him] to places [he’s] never been before.”
Cat thinks they can beat this routine with later routines, which I doubt (even though it’s ballroom!), but then she mentions that there’s a Tabitha and Napoleon hip-hop routine to come.
Kayla and Kupono – Sonia contemporary routine. Caitlin looks like she’s been watching The Corpse Bride on repeat for the last week and a half.
[Joe and Liz trade places on the couch at this point because Liz was getting a bedsore. She suggested that I share this in my summary. There you go, Liz.]
Kayla and Kupono are dancing to a song from the Twilight soundtrack, Liz says, and in typical Sonia manner, they start out with Kupono pulling Kayla across the floor as though she’s a dead body. They have energy and a good sense of Sonia-style motion, though, good follow-through, and it does make me think the cha cha might be eclipsed.
Nigel talks about vampires and Sonia’s choreography, meaning he loved it, then tells Kupono how he loved it, saying “everything about it was absolutely tremendous, and it’s so good to see you two working to your potential on this show.”
Mary says “this song was all about the death, wasn’t it? But these two are alive and kicking!” She compliments Kayla’s legs, transitions and chemistry between them. [These two are a new pair this week after last week’s eliminations.]
Mia says she thinks this is Sonia’s best work so far on the show, and compliments both dancers.
Randi and Evan – Broadway with Joey Dowling (I don’t recognize her). The dancers actually sound like they’re complaining about Ms. Dowling, which is rare in SYD etiquette. The dance was a sort of mock-fight between what Cat calls “baddies from a Dick Tracy movie.”
Nigel says the routine was “a great homage to Bob Fossy” and that it was terrifically choreographed. He was happy with Randi but less happy with Evan. He says these two are still in the top ten.
Mary says they did it “fairly well” and that they did the characters well, “but I really enjoyed it; it was entertaining.” But no scream, and no train for them.
Mia begins by talking about Dowling’s choreography, and the dancers’ “height.” This may be metaphorical, or may be literal. Mia says Randi’s dancing was “heavy” – which, as Joe points out, means she’s calling Randi “fat and short.” Mia saves it (sort of) by saying Randi’s too strong to have that trouble.
Caitlin and Jason – jazz with Brian Friedman. Caitlin is supposed to be an alien coming to find the last human male to procreate with. She’s got a weird, foily-spiked costume, and they dance to “Santigold” – er, that’s Santogold, guys. Get it right, eh?
Nigel backhand-compliments Brian Friedman first of all, saying finally “listen, it was very weird, but if you’re given something like that by the choreographer, you have to commit yourself 100%.” Nigel says her costume looks “like a dancing condom.” Cat retorts “safety first, Nigel, safety first.”
Mary didn’t really like it.
Mia suggests that Brian was just having fun with the routine, saying “the only thing I don’t like about it is the tinfoil – the tinfoil makes it seem cartoonish.”
I’M hypnotized by the jiggliness of Caitlin’s upper lady bits in that costume, and I’m not even gay. It’s like she’s wearing an anti-bra; the lack of support is extraterrestrial.
And I’d say it’s the only extraterrestrial thing about the routine.
Jeanine and Phillip – Tabitha and Napoleon’s hip-hop, telling the story of how dancers on SYD get locked together the first week…using the prop of a chain connecting them. They’re attached at the ankle and are dancing, brilliantly, to “Love Lockdown.” The routine is all about the chain and the restrictions created by it – their movements are small, technical, and in sync.
Nigel: “Well, if you guys keep dancing like that, you should be chained together for life. I can see a lot of husbands and wives at home going ‘oh, yeah, that reminds me…’”
Mary compliments them both, but only lets her voice rise for Jeanine, who was “keeping up with” Phillip. She says it’s going to be a sad day when they don’t have each other as partners, and Phillip fake-hands the key to Cat.
Mia says she kept getting caught up in “the chainography.” She actually criticized Nap and Tab by focusing entirely on how the chain distracted from the excellent job done by dancers.
“We have chains all over the place, in our apartment and everything,” Jeanine says, explaining how much overtime practice they’d put in to get the routine right, and Nigel yells “TMI! TMI!”
That’s what she said, Nigel. (Wait, what?)
Melissa and Ade – Pas de Deux. Melissa is obviously a ballerina, and a good one.
Nigel: “Who would have believed that in five seasons we’re now doing classical ballet on SYD?” He talked about the variety of routines “What’s on FOX tonight? Oh, we’ve got The Simpsons, we’ve got Family Guy, and classical ballet – oh, good.” He thanked Melissa, and complimented Ade’s lifts and character.
Mary: “You put me in a dreamlike state, and honestly, I just didn’t want to wake up from it.”
Mia: “I am so excited to be celebrating classical dance on this show.” She also says she loves “that it’s a black and white Romeo and Juliet.”
Cat introduces “The Dizzy Feet Foundation” which will give scholarships to young people who can’t afford dance. All the judges, Alan Shankman included, plus Katie Holmes (her house-arrest anklet isn’t visible in the camera shot they have set up), endorse it. It’s a brief infomercial in the middle of our show.
Nigel thanks the Fox broadcasting corporation and other producers for letting them use the show as a platform. Katie Holmes will be dancing on July 23rd.
Vitolio and Karla – quickstep. Blegh to the quickstep, but at least they’re dancing to “putting on the Ritz.” Karla also has a magical, quick change of costume from black and white checkers to long pink, feathery gown. They actually do a pretty good job, particularly with Karla’s arm lines and the lifts.
Nigel: “There were so many good things about that” – and he compliments Jean-Marc, says he loved the quick dress change, and that he loves that you can quiet a woman by simply snapping. This is horribly misogynist, but Mary actually makes it funny by reacting to his snap with silence.
Mary: “Well, so much for the kiss of death dance, eh?” She compliments their hold, the costume change, and the choreography.
Mia: She compliments the choreographer first, and says choreographers “can either break you or make you – he made you.” She says Vitolio’s all over the map, but that he delivered it here. He says “I know it [quickstep] was the kiss of death but I hope tonight we made it the kiss of joy.” “You made out with it,” Mia says matter-of-factly.
And a run through the numbers again, another look at the dancers’ routines, and the phone lines are open.
I say the Broadway routinees (Randi and Evan) are in trouble this week.
Mia, the guest judge for this week (so no Mia Michaels routines tonight), admits that she sees Brandon’s improvement since she excoriated him during tryouts.
Janette and Brandon – cha cha, and Brandon says “not only is it fast, it’s dangerous.” At least it’s to a Pussycat Dolls song and not an old-tyme ballroom tune. Janette’s sequin costume looks like a combination of figure skating leotard and curtain from the 70’s. It was well danced, and
Nigel said “it was possibly the BEST DAMN CHA CHA I’VE EVER SEEN ON THIS SHOW. EVER. EVER.” He says he can imagine “Brandon really pulling his finger out” – of his ass??? – “with Mia on the panel. He’s amazed that they’re doing so well without ever having drawn their style yet.
Nigel says he can hear a train coming when it’s Mary’s turn to critique. Mary makes us respect her a little more than usual by citing technique in complimenting Janette, then lets her voice track higher and higher before offering them “two first class tickets on the hot tamale train!”
Mia says Brandon is amazing and that she’s going to “dig in and drag [him] to places [he’s] never been before.”
Cat thinks they can beat this routine with later routines, which I doubt (even though it’s ballroom!), but then she mentions that there’s a Tabitha and Napoleon hip-hop routine to come.
Kayla and Kupono – Sonia contemporary routine. Caitlin looks like she’s been watching The Corpse Bride on repeat for the last week and a half.
[Joe and Liz trade places on the couch at this point because Liz was getting a bedsore. She suggested that I share this in my summary. There you go, Liz.]
Kayla and Kupono are dancing to a song from the Twilight soundtrack, Liz says, and in typical Sonia manner, they start out with Kupono pulling Kayla across the floor as though she’s a dead body. They have energy and a good sense of Sonia-style motion, though, good follow-through, and it does make me think the cha cha might be eclipsed.
Nigel talks about vampires and Sonia’s choreography, meaning he loved it, then tells Kupono how he loved it, saying “everything about it was absolutely tremendous, and it’s so good to see you two working to your potential on this show.”
Mary says “this song was all about the death, wasn’t it? But these two are alive and kicking!” She compliments Kayla’s legs, transitions and chemistry between them. [These two are a new pair this week after last week’s eliminations.]
Mia says she thinks this is Sonia’s best work so far on the show, and compliments both dancers.
Randi and Evan – Broadway with Joey Dowling (I don’t recognize her). The dancers actually sound like they’re complaining about Ms. Dowling, which is rare in SYD etiquette. The dance was a sort of mock-fight between what Cat calls “baddies from a Dick Tracy movie.”
Nigel says the routine was “a great homage to Bob Fossy” and that it was terrifically choreographed. He was happy with Randi but less happy with Evan. He says these two are still in the top ten.
Mary says they did it “fairly well” and that they did the characters well, “but I really enjoyed it; it was entertaining.” But no scream, and no train for them.
Mia begins by talking about Dowling’s choreography, and the dancers’ “height.” This may be metaphorical, or may be literal. Mia says Randi’s dancing was “heavy” – which, as Joe points out, means she’s calling Randi “fat and short.” Mia saves it (sort of) by saying Randi’s too strong to have that trouble.
Caitlin and Jason – jazz with Brian Friedman. Caitlin is supposed to be an alien coming to find the last human male to procreate with. She’s got a weird, foily-spiked costume, and they dance to “Santigold” – er, that’s Santogold, guys. Get it right, eh?
Nigel backhand-compliments Brian Friedman first of all, saying finally “listen, it was very weird, but if you’re given something like that by the choreographer, you have to commit yourself 100%.” Nigel says her costume looks “like a dancing condom.” Cat retorts “safety first, Nigel, safety first.”
Mary didn’t really like it.
Mia suggests that Brian was just having fun with the routine, saying “the only thing I don’t like about it is the tinfoil – the tinfoil makes it seem cartoonish.”
I’M hypnotized by the jiggliness of Caitlin’s upper lady bits in that costume, and I’m not even gay. It’s like she’s wearing an anti-bra; the lack of support is extraterrestrial.
And I’d say it’s the only extraterrestrial thing about the routine.
Jeanine and Phillip – Tabitha and Napoleon’s hip-hop, telling the story of how dancers on SYD get locked together the first week…using the prop of a chain connecting them. They’re attached at the ankle and are dancing, brilliantly, to “Love Lockdown.” The routine is all about the chain and the restrictions created by it – their movements are small, technical, and in sync.
Nigel: “Well, if you guys keep dancing like that, you should be chained together for life. I can see a lot of husbands and wives at home going ‘oh, yeah, that reminds me…’”
Mary compliments them both, but only lets her voice rise for Jeanine, who was “keeping up with” Phillip. She says it’s going to be a sad day when they don’t have each other as partners, and Phillip fake-hands the key to Cat.
Mia says she kept getting caught up in “the chainography.” She actually criticized Nap and Tab by focusing entirely on how the chain distracted from the excellent job done by dancers.
“We have chains all over the place, in our apartment and everything,” Jeanine says, explaining how much overtime practice they’d put in to get the routine right, and Nigel yells “TMI! TMI!”
That’s what she said, Nigel. (Wait, what?)
Melissa and Ade – Pas de Deux. Melissa is obviously a ballerina, and a good one.
Nigel: “Who would have believed that in five seasons we’re now doing classical ballet on SYD?” He talked about the variety of routines “What’s on FOX tonight? Oh, we’ve got The Simpsons, we’ve got Family Guy, and classical ballet – oh, good.” He thanked Melissa, and complimented Ade’s lifts and character.
Mary: “You put me in a dreamlike state, and honestly, I just didn’t want to wake up from it.”
Mia: “I am so excited to be celebrating classical dance on this show.” She also says she loves “that it’s a black and white Romeo and Juliet.”
Cat introduces “The Dizzy Feet Foundation” which will give scholarships to young people who can’t afford dance. All the judges, Alan Shankman included, plus Katie Holmes (her house-arrest anklet isn’t visible in the camera shot they have set up), endorse it. It’s a brief infomercial in the middle of our show.
Nigel thanks the Fox broadcasting corporation and other producers for letting them use the show as a platform. Katie Holmes will be dancing on July 23rd.
Vitolio and Karla – quickstep. Blegh to the quickstep, but at least they’re dancing to “putting on the Ritz.” Karla also has a magical, quick change of costume from black and white checkers to long pink, feathery gown. They actually do a pretty good job, particularly with Karla’s arm lines and the lifts.
Nigel: “There were so many good things about that” – and he compliments Jean-Marc, says he loved the quick dress change, and that he loves that you can quiet a woman by simply snapping. This is horribly misogynist, but Mary actually makes it funny by reacting to his snap with silence.
Mary: “Well, so much for the kiss of death dance, eh?” She compliments their hold, the costume change, and the choreography.
Mia: She compliments the choreographer first, and says choreographers “can either break you or make you – he made you.” She says Vitolio’s all over the map, but that he delivered it here. He says “I know it [quickstep] was the kiss of death but I hope tonight we made it the kiss of joy.” “You made out with it,” Mia says matter-of-factly.
And a run through the numbers again, another look at the dancers’ routines, and the phone lines are open.
I say the Broadway routinees (Randi and Evan) are in trouble this week.
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