"We're doing AMAZING things with flaming tapestries these days..." (Blue and yellow hell)

In college, I realized as though all-of-a-sudden one night that some choices are false.

There may appear to be a choice, in any given difficult situation, between one impossible thing and another impossible thing, and it may cause you to scratch your head in your struggle to choose between them. You may ask yourself which one would be less worse. It may begin to seem to you like a game of "Would You Rather."

Would you rather, for instance, have an arm or a leg chopped off?

What if you didn't get to decide between the right and the left? What if the one you would choose to have removed wouldn't be anaesthetized, but the one you didn't choose, would? Would you change your mind? What if most people chose the leg, but then had a particularly difficult life as a result, so that you lived in a society of single-legged people who complained all the time?

You may find yourself pondering these questions, and others, in an effort to make a decision. There's only one problem with this.

These are stupid questions, and you shouldn't be asking them. What you should be doing is taking your two good legs and two good arms (assuming you have all four limbs, currently) and running the hell away.

Metaphorically, this applies to any situation in which you find yourself struggling to choose between the proverbial rock and the hard place. The need to choose something impossible is a mirage. There are always other options, and most of the time all you have to do is wait for them to appear.

When I realized this in college, I described it to friend Debbie as being asked to choose between hell with a blue interior decorating scheme versus hell with a yellow-based scheme. The point is not whether you'd like blue or yellow better. The point is that they're both Hell.

So wait for something better. Don't choose until it comes.

(It always does.)