I've failed you, my faithful blog readers. I have failed to include the juiciest local trivia available to me, on my blog. My only excuse is cowardice.
I dread the day that anyone (else) I know stumbles across this blog -- or people I don't know who might connect the blog to my real-life identity and activities, and possibly try to take some kind of revenge, like coming up to me on the street and "demanding answers" while I'm trying to buy an ice cream cone at the local Tastee-Freez.
I dread this as much as I dread running into old high school friends at the local Piggly-Wiggly, or in line at the town Cinemaplex. I would have to talk to them, you see, and "catch up." I would have to lie about having them over sometime, or doing lunch, or how much I've missed them since I last blew this Popsicle stand. And I'm not a good liar -- not good at all.
So I have failed to tell you about my undercovering at the local bookstore near Local City Hall, and I have failed to tell you about how yesterday's local paper ran engagement pictures of two of my friends (from seventh and tenth grade). I've made no mention of having lived above a prominent politician (who never made it to Congress) for three years, nor of the Poland Spring truck that crashed into a schoolbus outside that house several months ago.
Perhaps you haven't noticed, but you've been getting second-rate gossip this entire time.
For that, I apologize.
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