Recipe: Stupid- (Starlight-) Mint Brownies

Milk chocolate brownie mix
Vegetable oil
2 eggs
Water
9x13" pan
15-20 Starlight mint hard candies, green or red
10 dark chocolate Hershey kisses, or superior equivalent

1. Mix brownie mix as directed on box.

2. Chop up mint candies and dark chocolate; combine with brownie mix.

3. Cook brownies as directed.

PSA: 50 hours much, much longer than 24.

"I found out that the 50 hour mix is exponentially harder -- it is more than twice as hard," said P.C. as we talked on the phone about his efforts to wrestle the available songs into "winter" or "summer" categories.

He's right, of course. I'll post all 50 hours of mix lists (2 days, one winter, one summer, plus the rain mix and the witching hour mix) when they're done -- possibly in installments.

PSA: Friday the 13th, dumplings in numbers

Number of people at the dumpling party: 6

Number of additional people possibly coming: 5

Number of those additional people I assumed were bleeding out in a parking lot somewhere: 1

Number of the potentially bleeding people who were actually napping: 1

Pounds of ground pork used for dumpling mix: 1.97

Pounds of ground pork thrown away thanks to freezer burn and mysterious "Sell by May 20" (year unmarked): 1.47

Cups of Chinese cabbage used for dumpling mix: 5

Number of ingredients I chopped up for dumpling mix: 2

Number of ingredients I minced: 2

Number of packages of A Dong jiaozi wrappers used to wrap these dumplings: 2.7

Number of dumplings consumed last night: ??

Number of dumplings I likely consumed: about 10

Number of dumplings leftover in the pot after everyone was full: 1

Number of dumplings made from leftover mix, wrapped by me at 8 o'clock this morning: 66

Number of those dumplings I pan-friend for brunch: 16

Number of dumplings left after that, for those bad at math: 50

Number of meals I can get out of 50 leftover dumplings: 4-5

PSA: 24 Hour Mix (4/30-5/1)

Well, thanks to my awesome-ridiculous boyfriend, the 24-hour mix has been tweaked to perfection.

Here's how perfect it is:

Time........Running time
12 A.M....59:57
1............. 59:46
2 .............58:46
3 .............58:45
4 .............59:44
5 ........ 1:00:00
6 .............59:36
7 .............59:43
8............ 59:05
9 ............59:56
10 ..........59:54
11 ..........59:50
12 P.M...59:58
1 ............59:44
2 ...........58:05
3 ...........59:55
4 ...........59:15
5 ...........59:57
6 ...........59:57
7 ...........59:22
8 ...........59:41
9 ...........59:43
10 ........59:54
11 .........59:50

The alternate 3 A.M. (Witching Hour) and 3 P.M. (Rain) mixes are for times when sleep and sun aren't in your 24-hour schedule -- and they run 59:27 and 59:47 respectively.

Normally, I'd offer to send these out to anyone who requested them; in this case, you'll have to send an SASE and 25 blank CDs (with one alterna-mix thrown in free, since that what I'd usually do).

Or request specific times, if that suits you.

And obviously, shout outz to Prince Certainpersonio, mixmaster extraordinaire, provider of half the 24 hours of music, stay-up-late-er for mix perfecting, and excellent all-around individual to boot.

Rock.

Mix: All together now: Pinko-commie mix for hippies

You've seen the mix for Fascists -- now here's one for the severely socialist among us.

*****

"One In A Million" -- 2005 Million Man March
"Back In The USSR" -- Billy Joel
Chinese Daddy Cool
"Two of a Kind" -- The Story of Little Tree
"We Both Go Down Together" -- The Decemberists
"Unundustrius Worker" -- Good
"It's Not the Spotlight" -- Beth Orton
"Do I Want Another Working Day?" -- Skallander
"To The Workers of The Rock River Valley Region, I have an idea concerning your predicament, and it involves an innertube, bath mats, and 21 able-bodied men" -- Sufjan Stevens
"Common People" -- Church of Rhythm
"Not The One" -- Collective Soul
"Lose Yourself" -- Eminem
"Babiy Yar" -- Yevgeny Yevtushenko, read by Milt Commons
"We Come Together" -- Newsboys
"Happy Together" -- The Turtles

Mix: Chill Outz 3

In honor of Bryan Gaynor's dancing, here's a third "Fireflies"-inspired Chill Outz mix. There are repeats from past mixes and, yes, incredibly sappy songs on this list. And yes, there should be more Postal Service and Snow Patrol on a mix like this, but I can't get iTunes to recognize my .wma formats. If you would like all of the Chill Outz mixes, send your address to my email.

"Fireflies" -- Owl City
"Moth's Wings" -- Passion Pit
"No More Running Away" -- Air Traffic
"Kyrie" -- Mr. Mister
"Days Are Numbers (The Traveler)" -- Alan Parsons Project
"Scientist Studies" -- Death Cab For Cutie
"Save Tonight" -- Eagle Eye Cherry
"The Lamentation of David" -- Antony Pitts from Naxos Early Music
"Weighed Down" -- Jars of Clay
"Snowbirds and Townies" -- Further Seems Forever
"The Blower's Daughter" -- Damien Rice
"The Space Between" -- Dave Matthews Band
"Tiny Dancer" -- Elton John
"God Only Knows" -- Beach Boys
"Entertaining Angels" -- Newsboys
"Death And All His Friends" -- Coldplay

Mix: Anaerobic

"Mrs. Morgan" --DC Talk
"Aaja Nachle" --Monsoon Wedding soundtrack
"Not Gonna Get Us" --T.A.T.U.
"Don't Let Me Get Me" --Pink
Track 6 from Chinese mix ("Bounce with me" aka "Chinese Daddy Cool")
"Opportunities" --Pet Shop Boys
"Saqi-Naha" --Junoon (sponsored by Coke, "for sale only in Pakistan")
"Un Poco Loco" --Fey
Track 1 from Elva ("Shenme Dongxi")
"Maneater" --Nelly Furtado
"Malchik Gei" --T.A.T.U.
"What Is Love?" --Haddaway
"Because We Can" --Fatboy Slim

If you would like a CD copy of this mix, send your address to Alicia's email.

PSA: Coming: 24-hour mix

Prince Certainpersonio suggested, and I agreed, that we make a 24-hour mix set of CDs – that is, 24 hours of music that correspond to hours of the day, mainly in tone (i.e., noon is peppy, midnight is dance-party, early morning is contemplative).

Look forward to it.

Mix: Fire + Water

"No Cars Go" -- Arcade Fire
"Fire With Fire" -- The Gossip
"Set the Fire to the Third Bar" -- Martha Wainwright with Snow Patrol
"Night on Fire" -- VHS or Beta
"All Fired Up" -- Interpol
"The Theme from Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me"
"The Fire Breathers" -- Skillet
"World on Fire" -- Sarah McLachlan
"Here Comes the Flood" -- Peter Gabriel
"Healing Waters" -- Mr. Mister
"Cold Water" -- Damien Rice
"Holy Water" -- The Gossip
"Bridge over Troubled Water" -- Simon & Garfunkel
"Waterloo" -- ABBA

If you would like a CD copy of this mix, send your address to Alicia's email.

Recipe: Jiaozi (Chinese dumplings)

Filling:
1 lb. ground pork
Medium Chinese cabbage or Napa cabbage, chopped small
2-3 tsp. salt
1/4 c. green onion
2 Tb. cornstarch
2 Tb. soy sauce
2 ts. sesame oil
2 ts. white sugar
1 ts. pepper (black or white)

Wrappers: Pre-made round jiaozi wrappers, probably purchased from a Chinese supermarket.
(DON'T try to make your own jiaozi wrappers. Like accountants, lawyers and doctors, the people who make these are professionals, and you will only make a fool of yourself trying to do their job.)
Rice bowl of warm water.

1. Mix all filling ingredients in a bowl. Get some teaspoons for scooping.

2. Put about a teaspoon of filling in the center of a wrapper. Dip finger in warm water and trace edge of wrapper, then fold in half over filling.

3. Fold edge of jiaozi wrapper so that it won't come apart.

4. Boil in large pot until done, when jiaozi floats, wrapper is slightly translucent and has adhered itself to filling inside. (Looks kind of vacuum-packed.)

4, alt. Steam in dim sum steamer until done.

4, alt. Fry in canola or sesame oil until done.


Dipping sauce may include all or some of the following:
("All" highly recommended.)

Salt
Soy sauce
Sugar
Sesame oil
Peanut oil
Canola oil
Garlic, minced or powdered
Ginger, minced or powdered
Red chili oil and/or paste
Red pepper flakes

Mix to taste in rice bowl. Add some jiaozi water from boiling pot before dipping jiaozi, initially.

Mix: "Oh, Trevor! I pine for you..."

(Context for the uninitiated.)

"Bleeding Love" -- Leona Lewis
"Enthroned the Dark Angel" -- Theatres des Vampires
"Bleik Poet" -- Vamp
"Rush of Blood to the Head" -- Coldplay
"Hemorrhage" -- Fuel
"Bloody Mary (A Note on Apathy) -- Five For Fighting
"Oxford Comma" -- Vampire Weekend
"Transylvanian Concubine (The Manson Mix)" -- Rasputina
"Night Vision" -- Rob Price with Ellery Eskelin, Trevor Dunn & Joey Baron
"Blood On My Hands" -- The Sundays
"Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck" -- The Blood Brothers
"Throne of Dark Immortals" -- Theatres des Vampires
"Armageddon Suite" -- Trevor Rabin
"Super Vamp" -- Strategy
"And When I Die" -- Blood, Sweat & Tears

Mix: Apocalixx

"The End Of The World (As We Know It)" --R.E.M.
"Red Rain" --Peter Gabriel
"The Future" --Leonard Cohen
"Building A Mystery" --Sarah McLachlan
"My Last Breath" --Evanescence
"Catch Hell Blues" --The White Stripes
"Breakfast" --Newsboys
"Damned If I Do" --Alan Parsons Project
"This Is The End Of Your Life" --The Juliana Theory
"The Devil Is Bad" --The W's
"Skin Is Burning" --Burlap to Cashmere
"Going Under" --Evanescence
"St. Andrews (This Battle Is In The Air)" --The White Stripes
"Resurrection Song," --Birdmonster
"Handlebars" --Flobots
"Rush Of Blood To The Head" --Coldplay
"It Ends Tonight" --The All-American Rejects
"Take a Bow" --Muse

If you would like a CD copy of this mix, send your address to Alicia's email.

Mix: LUVV 4-EVR

"Searching for Your Love" -- The Sterling Stitches
"Love Comes Quickly" -- Pet Shop Boys
"Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" -- Sophie B. Hawkins
"Is It Love" -- Mr. Mister
"Failing a Test Falling In Love" -- Danielsons
"If You Find Yourself Caught in Love" -- Belle & Sebastian
"I Love You" -- Sarah McLachlan
"Show Me Love" -- t.A.T.u.
"It's True That We Love One Another" -- The White Stripes
"Bleeding Love" -- Leona Lewis
"Modern Love" -- Peter Gabriel
"You Love It When It Rains" -- Outerstar
"Let's Make Love and Listen to Death from Above" -- CSS
"Length of Love" -- Interpol
"Love Will Tear Us Apart" -- Joy Division
"A Martyr for My Love for You" -- The White Stripes
"My Lover's Gone" -- Dido
"No More 'I Love You's'" -- Annie Lennox
"Love on Haight Street" -- BT

If you would like a CD copy of this mix, send your address to Alicia's email.

Alterna-24: 3 A.M. (Witching Hour Mix)

''Twisted Nerve'' - Bernard Herrmann - Kill Bill
The Red Bedroom - No Knife
We Do What We're Told (Milgram's 37) - Peter Gabriel
Red Right Hand - Nick Cave
I'm No Angel - Dido
Habeas Corpses (Draconian Love) - El-P
The Bitten Bite Back - Mount Sims
Thriller - Michael Jackson
''Axe Throws'' (SFX) - Kill Bill
Stockholm Syndrome - Muse
Run To Your Grave - The Mae Shi
The Stranger - Billy Joel
Vletrmx (Plaid Mix) - Autechre
Dirty Diana (Album Version) - Michael Jackson
''Super 16 (Excerpt) [Remix]'' - Neu! - Kill Bill

Recipe: Egg Salad Sandwich

Sorry, vegans. The more intrepid among you may attempt this with an egg substitute.

5 eggs
About 2 Tb. mayo
watercress, chopped
cilantro, chopped (1/5 volume of watercress)
green onion, chopped
sunflower seeds, pre-shelled

Multi-grain bread
Olive oil, for frying

1. Hard-boil the eggs using some sort of fool-proof method.

2. Shell eggs and smash them with a fork. Add mayo to taste. (You may add salt, pepper, paprika or cayenne at this point -- but the other ingredients are tasty enough to make spices optional.)

3. Mix in all the green ingredients.

4. Mix in sunflower seeds to an even distribution, and in a proportion you like.

5. Heat olive oil in pan -- do not attempt to use a substitute oil.

6. Make sandwich and fry in oil.

Mix: Lloyd

The Lloyd Dobler alternative mix is now available.

Guest Mix: Apocalypse is Fun!

Thanks to Carl, the other-me, who had exactly the same idea for a mix CD as I had, the Soundtrack-to-the-Apocalypse has become a 2 disc set!

This is especially fortuitous, since the Apocalypse will likely last long enough for all of us to get sick of R.E.M.'s "The End of the World As We Know It."

And ASTONISHINGLY, despite our same-same ideas, there are no duplicate tracks between these two CDs.

Order now while supplies last.

*****

"The Man Comes Around" -- Johnny Cash
"The Clash" -- London Calling
Track 3
"We Will Become Silhouettes" -- The Postal Service
"99 Red Balloons" -- Nena
"And It Rained All Night" -- Thom Yorke
"Let Down" -- Radiohead
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" -- Death Cab for Cutie
"At the Bottom of Everything" -- Bright Eyes
"Wild Packs of Family Dogs" -- Modest Mouse
"Gong" -- Sigur Ros
"Everybody Here Is a Cloud" -- Cloud Cult
"No Cars Go" -- Arcade Fire
"Rever" -- Larsen
"Death Will Never Conquer" -- Coldplay

I disinvented the Internet.

My recent discovery that I can create my own mix CDs has spawned the obvious impulse to share those song lists, for better or worse, with others. (See here, here and here.)

But by sending actual CDs through the mail, I realize I've taken several significant steps backward from the Web revolution. I've invented -- nay, reinvented -- a low-tech Napster.

Huh.

Still, take advantage of my new hobby. You'd be surprised, if you started out with expectations as low as mine were, how decent themed mix CDs often turn out.

Mix: Chill outz

"Mad World" --Gary Jules
"The Promise" --Michael Nyman
"Rest" --Skillet
"Why" --Annie Lennox
"Days Are Numbers (The Traveller)" --Alan Parsons Project
"Eileen's Song" --Burlap to Cashmere
"Green Gloves" --The National
"Run" --Collective Soul
"Fire Walk With Me (Theme from Twin Peaks)" --Angelo Badalamenti
"The Blower's Daughter" --Damien Rice
"Here With Me" --Dido
"Theme From The Mission" --Ennio Morricone
"The Geese of Beverly Road" --The National
"Mercy Street" --Peter Gabriel
"Standing Outside A Telephone Booth With Money In My Hand" --Primitive Radio Gods
"The Path of Thorns (Terms)" --Sarah McLachlan
"Take My Hand" --Dido

If you would like a CD copy of this mix, send your address to Alicia's email.

2008 in CU review, cont.

Movie reviews:

Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer
Fievel Goes West
Gidget, Gidget Goes To Rome
Monster's Ball
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Oldboy
Smokey and the Bandit, II
Spring Subway
Things You Can Tell Just By Looking At Her

Phrases that never help:

"All is lost!"
"...by golly."
"Calm down."
"Chill out."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Don't do anything stupid."
"...I always say."
"I might as well be dead!"
"I only say this because I love/care about you."
"...I reckon."
"...I swear!"
"It's not you, it's me."
"No offense, but..."
"Really?"
"Stop obsessing."
"Stop worrying."
"The dog ate my homework."
"We're NEVER going to get there/finish this!"
"You're not ugly."


As always, if you'd like a copy of any of these mixes, send your address to Alicia's email.

Mixes:

@#%$ [Explicit]
Anaerobic
Animals
B*tches & Ho's
Chill Outz
Colors
Computer Future
Fire + Water
Free 5
GRRL PWWR
GRRL PWWR 2
I'm just sayin'
Lloyd Dobler
LUVV 4-EVR
Music to Die For
NO, it's NOT country, SHUT UP, LA LA LA
NOW 1.0
NOW 2.0
"Oh Trevor! I pine for you..."
Plants
Scientology
Stalkermix
Their eyes were watching YOU.
What should I be for Halloween?
Year


Political mixes:

All Together Now: Pinko-Commie mix for Hippies
Democratic Republic Patriots (In a Consumer Age)
Fascism Familiar
Long Live the Patrolling Militia!: Anarchy Mix


Road trip mixes:

Get the hell outta Dodge
To all the Homies, in honor of Homecoming
I Heart Road Trips


End-of-the-world mixes:

Apocalixx
Apocalixx 2
Apocalypse is Fun!!