At 7:30 a.m., when we'd gathered up our wits and whatnot about us and come together for the celebration of the true American holiday -- Black Friday -- I said to P.C., "we're basically heroes -- going out shopping on Black Friday. It should be called 'America Day.'"
He laughed, but it was him who yelled out "America!" as we walked toward the Target, and did a fist pump into the air. No one turned around to see what he was yelling about, supporting my point that it's self-evident.
The cashier, who had to be at work at 4:45 a.m. for the early opening, did not agree that we were heroes. But we know better.
Anyone who spent money on Friday was a patriot.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
PSA: Happy Thanksgiving!
I know, it's late.
But shouldn't we always be thankful, etc. etc.?
Hope it was good.
But shouldn't we always be thankful, etc. etc.?
Hope it was good.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Local Trivia: Elaine's story
Just recently, Earl Norem's grandson Mike found my blog post on Elaine, the painting I got from an estate sale in Cheshire, CT last year. Below is his comment and my reply:
mike: hi, I'm Earls Grandson..i saw this picture and then i saw your comment, so i just got home from school, and i showed him, this is his painting. He said he did this painting for an art director, it's of the art directors daughter.
My grand father brought it to him, and the man didnt like it, so my grandfather said he never got paid for it, but the man kept it.....my grandfather is curious did you pay for the picture? if so, how much?
Alicia: Mike -- I hope you subscribed to these comments, because I can't find you by clicking on your name (to see your "blogger profile").
Anyway, how cool that you found this and are commenting! I've been meaning to contact your grandfather for awhile now, and I'm excited to hear some of the back story for the painting. Unlike the art director (who I think might have been cheating your grandfather -- I'm not sure how someone could argue with this portrait), I really like it, and as I wrote, it's been hanging in my living room for about a year now.
I got the picture from an estate sale that was happening in Cheshire, CT. I assume the art director (or his daughter, maybe) had either died or was selling his house and belongings. It was early, and there wasn't anyone around, so I didn't speak with anyone at the house. But the estate sale had just started (9 a.m.), and three other people were milling around in the garage, so I stepped in for a minute -- but then was creeped out by the idea of wandering around someone's home potentially without their knowledge, so I left.
As I went back to my car, I found a small pile of stuff marked "free." That's where the painting was. I figured it was free because there's a small hole in the upper right corner of the canvas -- probably an inch or inch and a half or so. (I can't remember if you can see this in the picture.)
Anyway, I liked it, and I liked the idea that it had a history I didn't know about, so I picked it up.
I'm shocked to hear that your grandfather was never paid for it, especially since it was kept for thirty years -- if the people whose house I got it from were the same art director or his family -- and I'm interested to hear anything else you or your grandfather care to tell me about the painting, art, (not) getting paid for art, or anything, really.
I'll also post your comment and mine as a regular post on my blog in case you aren't subscribed to these comments and happen to come back and check CU. If you're willing to chat about it, leave your email address, or IM chat name, or facebook info or whatever you feel comfortable with, and I'll get in touch. Then I'll erase your info from my comments so they're not available to the whole world.
Nice to hear from you, Mike! I hope to hear from you again.
mike: hi, I'm Earls Grandson..i saw this picture and then i saw your comment, so i just got home from school, and i showed him, this is his painting. He said he did this painting for an art director, it's of the art directors daughter.
My grand father brought it to him, and the man didnt like it, so my grandfather said he never got paid for it, but the man kept it.....my grandfather is curious did you pay for the picture? if so, how much?
Alicia: Mike -- I hope you subscribed to these comments, because I can't find you by clicking on your name (to see your "blogger profile").
Anyway, how cool that you found this and are commenting! I've been meaning to contact your grandfather for awhile now, and I'm excited to hear some of the back story for the painting. Unlike the art director (who I think might have been cheating your grandfather -- I'm not sure how someone could argue with this portrait), I really like it, and as I wrote, it's been hanging in my living room for about a year now.
I got the picture from an estate sale that was happening in Cheshire, CT. I assume the art director (or his daughter, maybe) had either died or was selling his house and belongings. It was early, and there wasn't anyone around, so I didn't speak with anyone at the house. But the estate sale had just started (9 a.m.), and three other people were milling around in the garage, so I stepped in for a minute -- but then was creeped out by the idea of wandering around someone's home potentially without their knowledge, so I left.
As I went back to my car, I found a small pile of stuff marked "free." That's where the painting was. I figured it was free because there's a small hole in the upper right corner of the canvas -- probably an inch or inch and a half or so. (I can't remember if you can see this in the picture.)
Anyway, I liked it, and I liked the idea that it had a history I didn't know about, so I picked it up.
I'm shocked to hear that your grandfather was never paid for it, especially since it was kept for thirty years -- if the people whose house I got it from were the same art director or his family -- and I'm interested to hear anything else you or your grandfather care to tell me about the painting, art, (not) getting paid for art, or anything, really.
I'll also post your comment and mine as a regular post on my blog in case you aren't subscribed to these comments and happen to come back and check CU. If you're willing to chat about it, leave your email address, or IM chat name, or facebook info or whatever you feel comfortable with, and I'll get in touch. Then I'll erase your info from my comments so they're not available to the whole world.
Nice to hear from you, Mike! I hope to hear from you again.
Friday, November 13, 2009
New word: Spamographics
n. the information indicated to be true about an individual by the spam mail found in their email box; may or may not be related at all to "demographics," official (i.e., census) or unofficial (i.e., Facebook profile)
PSA: 50,000 miles -- 100 times the number of miles The Proclaimers would have traveled to get to me
Today, Betty hits our 50K-iversary, at 123,842 miles. After less than three years together, we've traveled all over together -- and despite her recent transmission flush, air filter change and drive axle replacement, she's still my favorite car.
Good going, Betty. I hope we get 50,000 more.
Good going, Betty. I hope we get 50,000 more.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Leaves us alone.
[My girl and I, raking the leaves at Pizza Hut as the wind blew them into the next yard over.]
My girl: [frustrated] Ooh! Gah! The wind!
Me: Well, there they go! Off to become someone else's problem!
My girl: [laughs] Alicia. You're bad.
Me: No, that's how leaves work! Once they're over there, they are those people's problem.
[Later]
Me: Oh, there they go! Somebody else's problem now!
In unison: Bye! Bye!
Manager, pulling up in his car: If you're not making much progress in here, you can go inside and make boxes.
My girl: Yeah! Okay!
Me: [Laughing] Okay.
My girl: [frustrated] Ooh! Gah! The wind!
Me: Well, there they go! Off to become someone else's problem!
My girl: [laughs] Alicia. You're bad.
Me: No, that's how leaves work! Once they're over there, they are those people's problem.
[Later]
Me: Oh, there they go! Somebody else's problem now!
In unison: Bye! Bye!
Manager, pulling up in his car: If you're not making much progress in here, you can go inside and make boxes.
My girl: Yeah! Okay!
Me: [Laughing] Okay.
Confessions XLII
Last night, taking off my shirt before getting in the shower, I broke my glasses in thirds -- lens-and-arm, lens-and-arm, and nosepiece-and-two-little-pieces-of-glass.
I collapsed into a heap on my kitchen floor and cried for a minute about it, even though I have two other pairs of glasses.
When I was in fifth grade, I was so mad I pounded my bed with my fists, and hit my glasses, which I'd set down in front of me, snapping their plastic frame in half; I cried harder then because I felt so intensely guilty. Now, that incident seems to prove what accidents always seem to prove to me, which is that we have befuddlingly, alarmingly little control over our lives -- even our own actions. This scares me, but is also comforting at times, because it means everything isn't always my fault.
I collapsed into a heap on my kitchen floor and cried for a minute about it, even though I have two other pairs of glasses.
When I was in fifth grade, I was so mad I pounded my bed with my fists, and hit my glasses, which I'd set down in front of me, snapping their plastic frame in half; I cried harder then because I felt so intensely guilty. Now, that incident seems to prove what accidents always seem to prove to me, which is that we have befuddlingly, alarmingly little control over our lives -- even our own actions. This scares me, but is also comforting at times, because it means everything isn't always my fault.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
PSA: Marsha's haunted website
Not sure if you've heard of this (or seen it) before, but check out "The Fall of the Site of Marsha" in its three incarnations -- at first, as Marsha, mid-90's homepage keeper, invites "Throne Angels" to come communicate with the rest of us through her homepage...and then later, as they arrive and wreak havoc on her homepage and eventually her life.
Go into some of the linked pages, particularly the Throne Angel Bulletin Board and the Private Door, and you'll see some of the behind-the-scenes circumstances under which this apparent haunting took place.
Of course, it's satire, like all reality TV -- but it's also very funny, like all satire.
Go into some of the linked pages, particularly the Throne Angel Bulletin Board and the Private Door, and you'll see some of the behind-the-scenes circumstances under which this apparent haunting took place.
Of course, it's satire, like all reality TV -- but it's also very funny, like all satire.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
PSA: Spambots read my other blog
I got a comment today that said, simply and self-evidently, "miley cyrus nude miley cyrus nude miley cyrus nude."
Perhaps when the spambots band together to form the first true AI, they'll recommision me as a writer.
I might have to learn html in that case...or whatever the Cylons speak.
Perhaps when the spambots band together to form the first true AI, they'll recommision me as a writer.
I might have to learn html in that case...or whatever the Cylons speak.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Local Trivia: Oh, the irony! Or, no, the opposite of that.
Observed in Oakville, CT:
A secondhand store called "Everything Goes" -- with a giant "closed" sign in the window.
A secondhand store called "Everything Goes" -- with a giant "closed" sign in the window.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Local Trivia, Waltham: Unsanitary napkin (horror)
Well, the maxipad that had been just down the block on Charles St. for the last two months, being slowly (very slowly...creepily slowly) degraded by natural elements (people would avoid stepping on it, of course, and so rain and dirt would accumulate and dissipate), down to the least natural portions (a piece of plastic), is finally gone.
After awhile, it lost the sense of bioterror that it had held originally, but as it just refused to disappear, and no one cleaned it up, it gained a new kind of horror -- like a zombie that won't be killed, it had lost any sense of humanness and gained a pseudo-life of its own.
Nobody misses it, of course, but I think most of us still step around the area where it used to be.
After awhile, it lost the sense of bioterror that it had held originally, but as it just refused to disappear, and no one cleaned it up, it gained a new kind of horror -- like a zombie that won't be killed, it had lost any sense of humanness and gained a pseudo-life of its own.
Nobody misses it, of course, but I think most of us still step around the area where it used to be.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Local Trivia: But "j" is just as rare as "z"...
Observed on a sign made with one of those spell-by-letter kits, outside a pizza place:
"Pops pijja now open."
"Pops pijja now open."
Saturday, October 24, 2009
PSA: Guide to Guys
What I think is most interesting about this article is not so much that the website was quoted in the NYTimes, and not so much the advice in it, but the fact that there is no corresponding "Guide to Gals" for men to read.
It's almost as if the authors are subtly hinting that one of the gender differences they're proposing is that women will want to read an article about what men are thinking, but that men wouldn't care to read its equivalent. And perhaps it's the most valid one. (That might sound sarcastic, but it's not.)
Guys? Any thoughts? (Don't get too "emotionally overloaded" attempting to answer, please.)
It's almost as if the authors are subtly hinting that one of the gender differences they're proposing is that women will want to read an article about what men are thinking, but that men wouldn't care to read its equivalent. And perhaps it's the most valid one. (That might sound sarcastic, but it's not.)
Guys? Any thoughts? (Don't get too "emotionally overloaded" attempting to answer, please.)
Friday, October 16, 2009
PSA: Bigot defends marriage
From the AP: Keith Barwell, justice of the peace, refuses to perform the marriage ceremony of an interracial couple. Here are the excuses he gives:
"Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.
'I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way,' Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. 'I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.'
Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said."
He says he's concerned for the children that might come from an interracial marriage, and that they won't be accepted by either black or white communities.
Here are some better possible excuses for this guy, just off the top of my head:
Maybe Bardwell has never followed up on any of the same-race marriages he's performed, and so doesn't know that about half of ALL marriages end in divorce.
Maybe he doesn't know that people are still physically able to have children even when they're not married.
Maybe he's never, ever thought that it might be attitudes like his that cause children born of interracial couples to have more trouble than other kids.
Maybe it's never occurred to him that his attitudes are exactly the sort that might unduly strain the relationship of an interracial couple, possibly causing eventual break-up.
As far as how he comports himself and speaks in public, maybe he's never been told that using the term "piles and piles" for his black friends implies that he's somehow put them all in a giant heap in his backyard, and that this is bad.
Maybe he doesn't know that not believing "in mixing races that way" is almost the textbook definition of "racist."
Maybe he should check up on how many of those couples he lets use his bathroom after they let him marry them are actually puking their guts out in there.
I'm betting it's not a question of whether he'd ever marry a (same-race) same-sex couple -- though one would almost expect this guy to decide to only marry homosexuals, citing the fact that he doesn't believe "in mixing sexes that way."
That might actually make some sense.
Local Trivia: Quarter life crisis
Well, I'm out of quarters. Betty's ashtray stood me in good stead for awhile, but thanks to multiple toll charges (the Hamilton Fish's $1.00 and $1.75 to get P.C. through the Mass Pike), her supply has run out.
Still, I've been getting awesome things from the Pizza Hut quarter machine lately. Since the re-up that brought us "monkey standing on its head" and "monkey sitting" as well as more of the classic "lounging monkey," I haven't gotten up to the monkey strata of quarter machine treasures -- but I have found some other gems.
For example:
Smiley-face head guy holding basketball at hip
Alien doing karate: high side kick
Alien doing karate: holding bo
Game with two tiny rings and two tiny nubs on which to catch them
Tiny manga-inspired blue penguin
I hope your quarter machine luck has been just as good.
Still, I've been getting awesome things from the Pizza Hut quarter machine lately. Since the re-up that brought us "monkey standing on its head" and "monkey sitting" as well as more of the classic "lounging monkey," I haven't gotten up to the monkey strata of quarter machine treasures -- but I have found some other gems.
For example:
Smiley-face head guy holding basketball at hip
Alien doing karate: high side kick
Alien doing karate: holding bo
Game with two tiny rings and two tiny nubs on which to catch them
Tiny manga-inspired blue penguin
I hope your quarter machine luck has been just as good.
PSA: Some cow band names
Cream
Cud Copy
Def Heiffer'd
Greenhay
Miami Moosic Machine
Moodonna
Mootallica
New Udder
Cud Copy
Def Heiffer'd
Greenhay
Miami Moosic Machine
Moodonna
Mootallica
New Udder
Friday, October 9, 2009
PSA: RR09
Roomie Reunion 2009 is this weekend -- so sorry, fan, but I'll be AWOL.
Unless you give me leave, in which case I'll just be A.
Unless you give me leave, in which case I'll just be A.
PSA: Obama Peace Prize
Well, President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize...mainly because he saved America from the violence of the rest of the world's so-far-mainly-theoretical hatred of us.
That's what he should say to Americans who ask what he's actually accomplished in office so far.
That's what he should say to Americans who ask what he's actually accomplished in office so far.
Monday, October 5, 2009
PSA: Inappropriate Glee
The name of the glee club in the new TV show Glee is "New Directions."
Say it to yourself out loud a few times. (But not in public.)
I'm just sayin'.
Say it to yourself out loud a few times. (But not in public.)
I'm just sayin'.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Local Trivia: Found in the Pizza Hut parking lot, Friday 10/2, and consumed by one man
2 40's of malt liquor (1 half full)
1 bottle of brandy (empty)
1 green beer bottle (shattered)
1 brown beer bottle (empty)
1 bottle of brandy (empty)
1 green beer bottle (shattered)
1 brown beer bottle (empty)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
PSA: Great moments of fatherly acceptance in the scripted media
Ordinary People, whole movie
Billy Elliot, when his father realizes dance is Billy's future
Glee, "Preggers" (Season 1 Episode 4), when his father cheers for him after making the game-winning field goal, and then later when he comes out to said father, who says "I've know since you were three...I love you just the same" with the conviction of a man who watches Deadliest Catch.
Billy Elliot, when his father realizes dance is Billy's future
Glee, "Preggers" (Season 1 Episode 4), when his father cheers for him after making the game-winning field goal, and then later when he comes out to said father, who says "I've know since you were three...I love you just the same" with the conviction of a man who watches Deadliest Catch.
Friday, October 2, 2009
PSA: Pests and the City
Looking at the singularly universal "sign of mice" left on the corner of my couch yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder: Were mice made for the sole purpose of turning food into poop?
I mean, it seems like every single place a mouse goes, it leaves poop -- like the instant they stop moving, they're bound to leave something behind. Why is this? Why don't mice have times in between bowel movements? Do they not have bowels? Maybe it's just a straight chute in there.
Maybe poop is the equivalent of mouse graffiti, like an "I was here" statement. But it doesn't seem to be marking territory, unless mice have a need to claim every territory they've ever set foot on.
Thoughts are welcome, but I understand if it's too gross to contemplate long.
I mean, it seems like every single place a mouse goes, it leaves poop -- like the instant they stop moving, they're bound to leave something behind. Why is this? Why don't mice have times in between bowel movements? Do they not have bowels? Maybe it's just a straight chute in there.
Maybe poop is the equivalent of mouse graffiti, like an "I was here" statement. But it doesn't seem to be marking territory, unless mice have a need to claim every territory they've ever set foot on.
Thoughts are welcome, but I understand if it's too gross to contemplate long.
PSA: "Slap Bet"
Yes. A.
I'd post the paper here, but I'm worried about plagiarism.
But I'd be happy to entertain any thoughts on how to thwart it (plagiarism) if you're interested in reading it (the paper).
I'd post the paper here, but I'm worried about plagiarism.
But I'd be happy to entertain any thoughts on how to thwart it (plagiarism) if you're interested in reading it (the paper).
Sunday, September 27, 2009
PSQ: "Slap Bet"
I'm writing a paper on the "Slap Bet" episode of How I Met Your Mother and am trying to form (and prove) a thesis that refers to all kinds of power as fundamentally the same -- social capital, economic capital, phallic power -- in order to show why Barney ends up on the losing end of the slap bet contest (for the next several seasons), and why we think that's funny.
Any theorists anyone knows about who have used Marxist, feminist and psychoanalytic critiques all at the same time?
Or should I just stick to one type of "power"?
I feel a bit like Mr. Casaubon writing his Key to All Mythologies, but with an 8-page limit.
Any theorists anyone knows about who have used Marxist, feminist and psychoanalytic critiques all at the same time?
Or should I just stick to one type of "power"?
I feel a bit like Mr. Casaubon writing his Key to All Mythologies, but with an 8-page limit.
Dreams (and teeth)
I dreamed last night that several pieces of my teeth had fallen out again, including a whole molar. I can never prevent it in my dream, and it's always the result of clenching my jaw too hard.
The funny thing is, I was psyching myself up before I went to bed last night, telling myself I could never lose my teeth in real life because I'd never let my jaw stay clenched that long. I'd pry it open with my hands, or get to an ER where they could inject me with muscle relaxer or something.
Now I wonder if the truth is that I actually clench my jaw when I'm sleeping, and if I am, whether I'm doing it hard enough to actually crack my teeth.
I was probably thinking about this because a coworker went to the ER yesterday with an infection in her jaw and had to have four teeth pulled.
I really need to get to the dentist.
The funny thing is, I was psyching myself up before I went to bed last night, telling myself I could never lose my teeth in real life because I'd never let my jaw stay clenched that long. I'd pry it open with my hands, or get to an ER where they could inject me with muscle relaxer or something.
Now I wonder if the truth is that I actually clench my jaw when I'm sleeping, and if I am, whether I'm doing it hard enough to actually crack my teeth.
I was probably thinking about this because a coworker went to the ER yesterday with an infection in her jaw and had to have four teeth pulled.
I really need to get to the dentist.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
9/19/09 (in numbers)
Number of pages of Adorno and Horkheimer's "Dialectic of Enlightenment" read today, so far: 14
Households immediately adjacent to apartment holding tag sales today: 3
Number of hours spent reading pages of "Dialectic of Enlightenment": 2
Number of episodes of Big Bang Theory watched this weekend: 12
Number of pages of "Dialectic of Enlightenment" assigned for homework: 47
Approximate number of adults yelling back and forth throughout day between tag sale locations: 8
Minimum number of entire books assigned to be read for next week: 3
Minimum number of additional books needed for research paper due Sept. 30: 5
Number of episodes of Mad Men watched this weekend: 3
Number of papers due this week: 1
Number of pages for that paper: 5
Number of emails sent to professors inquiring about paper requirements: 2
Number of emails replied to by professors: 1
Number of those email replies relevant to paper due this week: 0
Number of fishsticks eaten for lunch: 5
Books completed for sake of research paper due Sept. 30: 1
Loads of laundry done and dried on clothesline: 2
Number of papers due next week: 2
Number of emails written tonight: 9
Age of youngest brother: 19
Calls made by me to say "happy birthday" to youngest brother: 1
Approximate ounces of coconut cake eaten by me: 5
Hours before driving back to Waltham: 20.5
Average number of hours it takes to drive between Connecticut and Waltham: 1.75
Approximate number of minutes of seeing P.C. today: 25
Estimated number of minutes of seeing P.C. tomorrow: 120
Minutes until bed-time: 28
Percent confidence in getting through even one more page of "Dialectic of Enlightenment" before bed-time: 12
Households immediately adjacent to apartment holding tag sales today: 3
Number of hours spent reading pages of "Dialectic of Enlightenment": 2
Number of episodes of Big Bang Theory watched this weekend: 12
Number of pages of "Dialectic of Enlightenment" assigned for homework: 47
Approximate number of adults yelling back and forth throughout day between tag sale locations: 8
Minimum number of entire books assigned to be read for next week: 3
Minimum number of additional books needed for research paper due Sept. 30: 5
Number of episodes of Mad Men watched this weekend: 3
Number of papers due this week: 1
Number of pages for that paper: 5
Number of emails sent to professors inquiring about paper requirements: 2
Number of emails replied to by professors: 1
Number of those email replies relevant to paper due this week: 0
Number of fishsticks eaten for lunch: 5
Books completed for sake of research paper due Sept. 30: 1
Loads of laundry done and dried on clothesline: 2
Number of papers due next week: 2
Number of emails written tonight: 9
Age of youngest brother: 19
Calls made by me to say "happy birthday" to youngest brother: 1
Approximate ounces of coconut cake eaten by me: 5
Hours before driving back to Waltham: 20.5
Average number of hours it takes to drive between Connecticut and Waltham: 1.75
Approximate number of minutes of seeing P.C. today: 25
Estimated number of minutes of seeing P.C. tomorrow: 120
Minutes until bed-time: 28
Percent confidence in getting through even one more page of "Dialectic of Enlightenment" before bed-time: 12
PSA: Memorializing Sept. 11
[As promised, here's something I wrote for class:]
I guess I feel the main problem with memorializing Sept. 11 is a narrative one: We're still in the middle of the story, for one thing. And it's shaping up to be the type of story that doesn't lend itself to grand narrative, for another.
If we (and I think we tend to) think of the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, as isolated, non-contextualized events, it should be easy to create a memorial. We could valorize the firefighters and other rescue workers who helped dig through the rubble of the towers, "remember" the individuals (Americans) who died in the towers and in the planes, and mythologize the individuals (enemies) who attacked "our way of life," "freedom," "democracy," or our most deeply held ideals (also mythologized).
It's interesting to me and instructive, I think, that we refer to the attacks as "September 11th." To me, this habit points to an (almost imperialist, or at least narcissistic) American co-opting of an entire calendar day, which appears every year, as a personal/national traumatic anniversary -- which makes it too wide a name, really, for the discrete occasion of the attacks in 2001 -- and at the same time, a flagrant decontextualizing of the attacks, without reference to any of the events that came before (or after), as though it was a one-day event without antecedent or precedent -- making "September 11th" a too-narrow term for what happened then.
So if we want to memorialize "September 11th," we may be able to do it. We may be able to create a physical space that does what calling it "September 11th" does, which is to cut us off from doubts about the purpose or history of the attacks (and possible critiques of, for instance, our foreign policy), and to formalize our personal/national grief so that we'll "never forget." (September 11 rolls around every year, after all -- it's hard to forget that.)
But I think even a memorial that manages to sing the praises of our heroes and vaguely condemn our vile enemies would call up too much doubt and too many questions in our current national environment. Anyone with any secret questions about what the terrorists were trying to accomplish, anyone with doubts about the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq (which were connected rhetorically to Sept. 11th as though the attacks were a talisman that could justify any subsequent action), even anyone whose loved one died in the attacks, who has an alternate memory that contradicts the official "history" of 9/11, would find themselves dealing with those questions in contrast to the memorial in front of them.
Cutting out the context wouldn't necessarily help, yet, in other words, because we're living in the middle of the context.
But it's not possible to memorialize something we're living through, in part because of its complexity, and in part because it's still happening and can't yet be remembered.
I hope that ultimately, the Vietnam Memorial will be instructive for 9/11 memorial builders -- something mysterious, to which viewers bring their own meaning, and which allows for multiple interpretations and a complexity of thought (in viewers) made possible by the simplicity of form (in memorial content). I think this is why the personal grief shown in the countless items left at the wall by family members of the deceased is able to exist in the memorial space; I've never seen a bunch of flowers left at other war memorials (and I lived in DC for two years).
I hope that family members will be able to share similar moments in front of parapets surrounding 1-acre man-made waterfall basins (over the roar of the water).
Unfortunately, I suspect that the 9/11 memorial will read more like the WWII memorial put in between the reflecting pool and the Washington Monument: ostentatious, easy to decipher, and out of place.
I guess I feel the main problem with memorializing Sept. 11 is a narrative one: We're still in the middle of the story, for one thing. And it's shaping up to be the type of story that doesn't lend itself to grand narrative, for another.
If we (and I think we tend to) think of the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, as isolated, non-contextualized events, it should be easy to create a memorial. We could valorize the firefighters and other rescue workers who helped dig through the rubble of the towers, "remember" the individuals (Americans) who died in the towers and in the planes, and mythologize the individuals (enemies) who attacked "our way of life," "freedom," "democracy," or our most deeply held ideals (also mythologized).
It's interesting to me and instructive, I think, that we refer to the attacks as "September 11th." To me, this habit points to an (almost imperialist, or at least narcissistic) American co-opting of an entire calendar day, which appears every year, as a personal/national traumatic anniversary -- which makes it too wide a name, really, for the discrete occasion of the attacks in 2001 -- and at the same time, a flagrant decontextualizing of the attacks, without reference to any of the events that came before (or after), as though it was a one-day event without antecedent or precedent -- making "September 11th" a too-narrow term for what happened then.
So if we want to memorialize "September 11th," we may be able to do it. We may be able to create a physical space that does what calling it "September 11th" does, which is to cut us off from doubts about the purpose or history of the attacks (and possible critiques of, for instance, our foreign policy), and to formalize our personal/national grief so that we'll "never forget." (September 11 rolls around every year, after all -- it's hard to forget that.)
But I think even a memorial that manages to sing the praises of our heroes and vaguely condemn our vile enemies would call up too much doubt and too many questions in our current national environment. Anyone with any secret questions about what the terrorists were trying to accomplish, anyone with doubts about the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq (which were connected rhetorically to Sept. 11th as though the attacks were a talisman that could justify any subsequent action), even anyone whose loved one died in the attacks, who has an alternate memory that contradicts the official "history" of 9/11, would find themselves dealing with those questions in contrast to the memorial in front of them.
Cutting out the context wouldn't necessarily help, yet, in other words, because we're living in the middle of the context.
But it's not possible to memorialize something we're living through, in part because of its complexity, and in part because it's still happening and can't yet be remembered.
I hope that ultimately, the Vietnam Memorial will be instructive for 9/11 memorial builders -- something mysterious, to which viewers bring their own meaning, and which allows for multiple interpretations and a complexity of thought (in viewers) made possible by the simplicity of form (in memorial content). I think this is why the personal grief shown in the countless items left at the wall by family members of the deceased is able to exist in the memorial space; I've never seen a bunch of flowers left at other war memorials (and I lived in DC for two years).
I hope that family members will be able to share similar moments in front of parapets surrounding 1-acre man-made waterfall basins (over the roar of the water).
Unfortunately, I suspect that the 9/11 memorial will read more like the WWII memorial put in between the reflecting pool and the Washington Monument: ostentatious, easy to decipher, and out of place.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Accusation XII
To the woman driving the black Avalon with MA plates, who drove up behind me in the left-hand lane so fast I didn't even see her coming in the rear-view mirror -- and I check it obsessively -- then flashed her brights at me when I didn't move over (into the car I was passing at 70 mph), then swung into the right-most lane and pulled back in front of the car I was passing and then in front of me, so that my front bumper was three feet from her back one, then slowed down to 65:
1. If you're able to slow down to 65 once you're in front of me, just to "teach a lesson," you didn't need to be going 80 to begin with.
2. You might feel entitled to drive like a jerk, but that doesn't make you the highway equivalent of a kindergarten teacher. It's not your job to "teach [me] a lesson."
3. Your lesson failed because it was stupid. I didn't learn how annoying it is to have someone driving "slowly" right in front of me because a) I didn't choose to drive up on your bumper; you chose to drive on (both of) mine and b) I was going 70, not the exaggeratedly "slow" 65 you decided to go when you "punished" me by driving dangerously.
Eventually, that kind of self-righteous, stupid punishment is going to get you in a car accident.
So here's the one possible silver lining to your "teaching" method: If when you get in that accident, you're going 55 to "teach [whoever] a lesson," instead of the 85 you wish you were going, you might actually survive.
1. If you're able to slow down to 65 once you're in front of me, just to "teach a lesson," you didn't need to be going 80 to begin with.
2. You might feel entitled to drive like a jerk, but that doesn't make you the highway equivalent of a kindergarten teacher. It's not your job to "teach [me] a lesson."
3. Your lesson failed because it was stupid. I didn't learn how annoying it is to have someone driving "slowly" right in front of me because a) I didn't choose to drive up on your bumper; you chose to drive on (both of) mine and b) I was going 70, not the exaggeratedly "slow" 65 you decided to go when you "punished" me by driving dangerously.
Eventually, that kind of self-righteous, stupid punishment is going to get you in a car accident.
So here's the one possible silver lining to your "teaching" method: If when you get in that accident, you're going 55 to "teach [whoever] a lesson," instead of the 85 you wish you were going, you might actually survive.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
PSA: Happiness is catching.
I'm happy, readers! It's a beautiful, sunny Sunday with just the right number and amount of cumulus clouds in the sky, I'm the new owner of a DVD collection of season 5 of The Office, I have great friends and an awesome boyfriend, it's verging on my favorite season, and I've been assigned massive amounts of reading for homework over the next few weeks. I can't wait to see what will happen in the next episode of season 2 of Dexter, or what I'll write my upcoming 2 papers on, and I've already paid my credit card bill for this month.
Now go about your days 9% happier.
Now go about your days 9% happier.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Think about this: If your name is "Dick Armey," you've got two career options:
1. Gigolo and exotic dancer at a gay bar
2. Majority leader of Republican Congress
2. Majority leader of Republican Congress
PSA: Obama health plan opponents don't even understand Batman.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for protesting. Go ahead and swarm the Capitol if you want -- we're a democracy, and the grass on the mall isn't a luxurious, healthy green anyway, so there's not much to ruin -- but if you do, just please, please, have some good arguments.
I don't even necessarily support Obama's health care plans, but at least I don't accuse them of being (Hitlerian) fascist, socialist and anarchist all at the same time.
According to the AP, "[Some] signs — reflecting the growing intensity of the health care debate — depicted President Barack Obama with the signature mustache of Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler. Many referred to Obama as a socialist or communist, and another imposed his face on that of the villainous Joker from "Batman."
I've seen the photo of this sign with Obama's face made to look like Heath Ledger's from The Dark Knight; underneath the image appears to be written the single word "socialism."
Now that's just stupid. Everyone knows the Joker wasn't socialist. He was a malignant anarchist, intending to create and encourage chaos and entropy (of governmental order) wherever he went, which is the opposite of socialist.
This means that the creators of that sign not only don't understand socialism, or anarchism: They don't even understand BATMAN.
I'm a cultural studies student, so maybe I have an advantage over the masses, but I'd like to think it's well within range of average American human intelligence to understand the Batman movies. Then again, maybe it's not a problem with interpreting the movie; maybe the difference is that I know better than to think anything at all "bad" can be legitimately referred to as "socialism."
Or maybe it's because I'm a pinko commie that I've taken a second to think about the Joker's politics; maybe when people do things like that, the terrorists win.
Whatever the disconnect here, it's enough to make me not even want to know what these people think would be a better plan. I know better than to engage in dialogue with promiscuous Joker-image users, just like I know better than to make a sign like that when I'm headed off to protest.
Other, presumably more sedate protesters, dressed up in colonial garb to protest, but I also know better than to dress up like I'm fresh off the Mayflower and expect to be taken seriously. Here's a PSA, Sturbridge Village wannabes: The Pilgrims didn't need health care, socialized or otherwise, because they hadn't discovered germs yet.
I don't even necessarily support Obama's health care plans, but at least I don't accuse them of being (Hitlerian) fascist, socialist and anarchist all at the same time.
According to the AP, "[Some] signs — reflecting the growing intensity of the health care debate — depicted President Barack Obama with the signature mustache of Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler. Many referred to Obama as a socialist or communist, and another imposed his face on that of the villainous Joker from "Batman."
I've seen the photo of this sign with Obama's face made to look like Heath Ledger's from The Dark Knight; underneath the image appears to be written the single word "socialism."
Now that's just stupid. Everyone knows the Joker wasn't socialist. He was a malignant anarchist, intending to create and encourage chaos and entropy (of governmental order) wherever he went, which is the opposite of socialist.
This means that the creators of that sign not only don't understand socialism, or anarchism: They don't even understand BATMAN.
I'm a cultural studies student, so maybe I have an advantage over the masses, but I'd like to think it's well within range of average American human intelligence to understand the Batman movies. Then again, maybe it's not a problem with interpreting the movie; maybe the difference is that I know better than to think anything at all "bad" can be legitimately referred to as "socialism."
Or maybe it's because I'm a pinko commie that I've taken a second to think about the Joker's politics; maybe when people do things like that, the terrorists win.
Whatever the disconnect here, it's enough to make me not even want to know what these people think would be a better plan. I know better than to engage in dialogue with promiscuous Joker-image users, just like I know better than to make a sign like that when I'm headed off to protest.
Other, presumably more sedate protesters, dressed up in colonial garb to protest, but I also know better than to dress up like I'm fresh off the Mayflower and expect to be taken seriously. Here's a PSA, Sturbridge Village wannabes: The Pilgrims didn't need health care, socialized or otherwise, because they hadn't discovered germs yet.
Friday, September 11, 2009
PSA, revised: TV shows with whiny protagonists that are saved by "side characters"
Ally McBeal
Grey's Anatomy
Scrubs
Sex and the City
Will & Grace
Grey's Anatomy
Scrubs
Sex and the City
Will & Grace
Thursday, September 10, 2009
New word: Tethichnician
n. a person who formulates moral rules or paradisms by strict logical criteria; neg., a person who makes decisions by rote formula and logic, heartlessly
PSA: L.A. wildfires
If there's anything I've learned from Deep Impact, it's that when you're staying behind instead of evacuating, you should make sure to have a motorcycle on hand.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
PSA: Dancing baby on DVD
Okay, so the "ooh-gha chaka" dancing baby was the worst part of Ally McBeal -- second in worstity perhaps to Ally's incessant whining and arguably third to the show's "third wave feminism" (in this case, tiny, tiny miniskirts and legs like toothpicks [Calista Flockhart was the Kate Moss of our generation]) -- and yes, the fifth season is total crap, but if you're like me, you're relieved to finally be (almost) able to own the series in the U.S.
Actually, if you're exactly like me, you already own two copies of the series in bootleg and copied-from-bootleg Chinese versions, so you're probably not going to rush to buy it at about $130 on October 6th.
But it's still good to know Vonda Shepard will be belting it out from official American TV sets across the nation again, soon.
Actually, if you're exactly like me, you already own two copies of the series in bootleg and copied-from-bootleg Chinese versions, so you're probably not going to rush to buy it at about $130 on October 6th.
But it's still good to know Vonda Shepard will be belting it out from official American TV sets across the nation again, soon.
Friday, September 4, 2009
PSA: You have the power.
The He-Man movie (yes, I think it is the same He-Man movie that led to some of us writing seminar people calling ourselves "the green light of jealousy" and "the yellow light of fighting," thanks to the use of obvious color-coding of scene types in this big-screen He-Man) is on sale on DVD at Amazon.com.
It is only $5.79.
But before you put your money where your blue light of dialogue is, consider the people in your company in the virtual line to make such a purchase. Read the reviews. One reviewer states, for instance, that "the true highlight of the movie is Frank Langella as Skeletor. He was made to play the role. He is very scarey and at most very evil in the movie."
The reviewer means, of course, that Frank Langella was born to play Skeletor, that he's perfect for the part -- which I realized about a minute after I assumed the first interpretation that popped into my mind, which was that he'd been forced, possibly at gunpoint, to play Skeletor, despite his objections.
The next most helpful reviewer explains why this version of He-Man is so weird to those of us who loved him in the 80's: This movie is actually based on a different comic book series, and uses He-Man characters the way a puppeteer might use Hansel and Gretel puppets to tell the story of Snow White.
It's no three wolves howling at the moon T-shirt, but it's not bad for ironic/camp purchase and review.
Consider adding your own voice to the masses'.
It is only $5.79.
But before you put your money where your blue light of dialogue is, consider the people in your company in the virtual line to make such a purchase. Read the reviews. One reviewer states, for instance, that "the true highlight of the movie is Frank Langella as Skeletor. He was made to play the role. He is very scarey and at most very evil in the movie."
The reviewer means, of course, that Frank Langella was born to play Skeletor, that he's perfect for the part -- which I realized about a minute after I assumed the first interpretation that popped into my mind, which was that he'd been forced, possibly at gunpoint, to play Skeletor, despite his objections.
The next most helpful reviewer explains why this version of He-Man is so weird to those of us who loved him in the 80's: This movie is actually based on a different comic book series, and uses He-Man characters the way a puppeteer might use Hansel and Gretel puppets to tell the story of Snow White.
It's no three wolves howling at the moon T-shirt, but it's not bad for ironic/camp purchase and review.
Consider adding your own voice to the masses'.
Confessions IXL
I'm not really sure that Roman numeral is accurate for this confessional, but I'm not going to bother looking it up.
I sometimes pretend I'm trying hard to accomplish something I don't really have to try hard at, in order to get more time to slack off, or to gain sympathy.
I sometimes choose to pretend to try hard instead of actually trying, because I'm really not that disciplined, and because then if I fail, it's not "really" my fault.
I sometimes pretend I'm trying hard to accomplish something I don't really have to try hard at, in order to get more time to slack off, or to gain sympathy.
I sometimes choose to pretend to try hard instead of actually trying, because I'm really not that disciplined, and because then if I fail, it's not "really" my fault.
PSA: Menu at Alicia's Fake Restaurant
Appetizers:
Chips and homemade salsa (black beans, corn, cilantro, etc.)
Wrap wheels
Soups:
Black bean
Tortilla (prepared by P.C.)
Salads:
Yard salad
Crab salad with ginger and watercress
Entrees:
Tuna sandwich on toasted wheat bread with potato chips on it
Black bean-sweet potato burritos
Fried chicken fingers
Gourmet Frito pie options: Choose one or more of each category. Extra ingredients cost $1 each.
Fritos: regular, Scoops, spicy
Chilis: Hormel chili with beans, Hormel chili without beans, homemade chili
Cheeses: Cheddar, Pepper-jack, Monterey Jack, Mexican blend
Desserts:
Cocoa Krispie treats
Sharon's vegan chocolate-tofu pie
Chocolate mousse pie
Chocolate covered fruit (variety)
Mini candy bar medley
Candy Rice -- mix-in options: coconut, fruit (fresh, seasonal), gummy bears, Heath bar, Hot Tamales, Milky Way, Nutella, pineapple bits, Twizzlers, Twix, various other candy bars as available
Chips and homemade salsa (black beans, corn, cilantro, etc.)
Wrap wheels
Soups:
Black bean
Tortilla (prepared by P.C.)
Salads:
Yard salad
Crab salad with ginger and watercress
Entrees:
Tuna sandwich on toasted wheat bread with potato chips on it
Black bean-sweet potato burritos
Fried chicken fingers
Gourmet Frito pie options: Choose one or more of each category. Extra ingredients cost $1 each.
Fritos: regular, Scoops, spicy
Chilis: Hormel chili with beans, Hormel chili without beans, homemade chili
Cheeses: Cheddar, Pepper-jack, Monterey Jack, Mexican blend
Desserts:
Cocoa Krispie treats
Sharon's vegan chocolate-tofu pie
Chocolate mousse pie
Chocolate covered fruit (variety)
Mini candy bar medley
Candy Rice -- mix-in options: coconut, fruit (fresh, seasonal), gummy bears, Heath bar, Hot Tamales, Milky Way, Nutella, pineapple bits, Twizzlers, Twix, various other candy bars as available
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