Marcus at Pizza Hut: "I've decided never to work for a corporation again."
Me: "Sounds like you're in the market to learn how to make handmade handbags."
Marcus: "No, I'd work at a real restaurant."
Me, before I can stop myself: "My boyfriend works at [X restaurant]."
My girl, seated at the table across from me: "You have a boyfriend?!?"
Me: "Whoops -- Pretend I didn't say that!"
Marcus: "Yeah, she doesn't have a boyfriend!"
Me: "It was just a lie I made up to say to Marcus. That's what I do -- I'm always telling Marcus lies."
My girl: "Alicia, you're flirting with Marcus!"
Marcus: [Laughs and walks away.]
Me: [Laugh] "Eat your lunch."
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