Local Trivia: Zodiapet

The other day on Route 9 north, there drove past a van marked "Zodiapet: Animal Massage, Animal Communication."

Zodiapet uses Reiki, crystals, and other New-Agey stuff to help you talk to your pet. Dead pets, too, because "communication is telepathic."

I don't have any pets right now, but probably the cats we had as kids are dead, now; or those cats from the farm; or the twenty or so birds I've had over the course of my life, all of which are now dead (with one possible exception, in China).

But I want to take it one step further. I felt like I knew, generally, how my pets were doing when they were alive. What I want to know is how I can exploit this angle for monetary gain.

I mean, think about it: If we could talk to Barney, what would he say that would help us impeach Bush? If we could talk to the pets of the stars, how much money could we make selling their stories to Star magazine or the like?

If you want in on this plan, Zodiapets is holding a seminar in New Haven= -- "If Only They Could Talk" - Animal Communication Class. It's $35, and pre-registration is required.

Let me know if you're interested. I will donate room and board to anyone who wants to commute from my place to New Haven and then give me a detailed rundown of the general themes and weirdnesses of this conference.