Local Trivia: We suck much more than our ancestors. At least in pictures.

While looking for images to carve stamps out of, I found this website for Local City's historic photos, comparing images of main streets in downtown Local City from 1899, 1950, and 2002.

I find it fascinating to look at how things have changed. Perhaps you'll find it less fascinating because you're not as familiar with Local City and are not (probably) sitting in Local City's public library while viewing them. But the thing that most strikes me, and that will be able to strike you even if you've never been to Local City, is the apparent change in the quality of life (and reflected in the increasing quality of the digital version of the photos): maybe 1899's horses and buggies aren't your cup of tea, but all the awesome old-tyme cars of the 50s crowding Local City's streets hold a certain appeal to me.

I wish this "Then and Now" listing also included a photo from the 80s, when I was growing up in Local City. Before Reagonomics set in, and before all the factory work moved elsewhere (not that I blame it), I remember downtown Local City as a happening place, with a sandwich shop that sold awesome milkshakes and a toy shop from which I made my first toy purchases: a doll and a marionette, both of which I still have (somewhere).

Local City now makes me a little bit sad, because I remember what it was, and what I was, and how connected I was to Local City. Maybe it's not that the 50s were better, but that the images of the recent past, as technologically advanced and populated with "normal" contemporary cars and people as they are, seem so empty and disconnected.

Can't blog, town'll eat me...

I've failed you, my faithful blog readers. I have failed to include the juiciest local trivia available to me, on my blog. My only excuse is cowardice.

I dread the day that anyone (else) I know stumbles across this blog -- or people I don't know who might connect the blog to my real-life identity and activities, and possibly try to take some kind of revenge, like coming up to me on the street and "demanding answers" while I'm trying to buy an ice cream cone at the local Tastee-Freez.

I dread this as much as I dread running into old high school friends at the local Piggly-Wiggly, or in line at the town Cinemaplex. I would have to talk to them, you see, and "catch up." I would have to lie about having them over sometime, or doing lunch, or how much I've missed them since I last blew this Popsicle stand. And I'm not a good liar -- not good at all.

So I have failed to tell you about my undercovering at the local bookstore near Local City Hall, and I have failed to tell you about how yesterday's local paper ran engagement pictures of two of my friends (from seventh and tenth grade). I've made no mention of having lived above a prominent politician (who never made it to Congress) for three years, nor of the Poland Spring truck that crashed into a schoolbus outside that house several months ago.

Perhaps you haven't noticed, but you've been getting second-rate gossip this entire time.

For that, I apologize.

Local Trivia: Elaine, by Earl

After posting the local trivia about my estate-sale painting of “Elaine,” I decided some investigatory work was in order. I’ve had Elaine for probably a year now, and I’d never bothered to look up the artist who signed the portrait: “E. Norem.”

I would never have guessed how awesome this information turns out to be.

E. Norem almost certainly stands for Earl Norem, a Connecticut resident and illustrator of comic books from the Golden Age, children’s classics (think Transformers, He-man), and pulp magazines that seem to predate Playboy’s actual photos of nude women.

His style is recognizable and impressive, particularly, in my opinion, in his depiction of people. He drew Optimus Prime without a face mask – with a mouth – and you can see here that he had a command of all the He-man characters one could ever want to see.

Mr. Norem doesn’t paint for the masses anymore; he restricts himself (and arthritis restricts him) to painting for the amusement of his grandkids and himself, now.

The fact that I own a portrait of someone I don’t know that I got free from an estate sale is awesome; the fact that it was painted by little-known, little-celebrated, uber-talented local comic-book artist Earl Norem is indescribably MORE awesome.

I’m considering writing to Mr. Norem to let him know I’ve got his painting, though I’m afraid he might be saddened to think his painting has been given away by its original owner (who may be dead, thus adding to the sadness).

On the other hand, I think most people would agree that Elaine’s gone to a good, loving home.

Local Trivia: Local City like E.T. game

Tonight we join our intrepid (Democrat) heroes as they battle the forces of (Republican) darkness in their usual place and time, a Common Council meeting in their chambers.

Local City is, for the first time in 20 years, posting a budget deficit -- and no small potatoes at $3 million, possibly $6 million when all is actually accounted for.

Like the title character of Atari's hilariously disastrous E.T. game, Local City can't get out of the hole this year no matter how hard it tries. The deficit was created when Connecticut didn't allocate $3 million in education funds at the beginning of the fiscal year. As one alderman pointed out, cape flaring indignantly behind him, we knew last July that this would happen.

But it's possible that the hole is twice as deep as the mustache-twirling Republicans will admit. The $3 million projected deficit is contingent on the sale of a property that doesn't seem to have a buyer yet -- or if it does, no one's admitting it.

That property is budgeted as a $3 million credit for the current fiscal year...and a $4 million credit for the next fiscal year.

The council apparently discussed this two weeks ago, when the trustworthy sidekick was...well, kicked aside, by a rebuke by the evil mastermind alderman (E.M.A.), who told him to "go to hell."

Or so we all thought, until tonight, when E.M.A. corrected the quote: "I didn't tell you to go to hell -- I told you to rot in hell."

(Oh. Well, alright, then.)

Tonight, our leader Tru-worthy smoldered in righteous anger over the potential $6 million deficit. He called it "double-dipping" (because it was credited for this fiscal year and the next one -- and it will likely sell, if it does, for $3 million, not $7 million). Tru-worthy righteously declared himself opposed to the report.

The corporation counsel informed the Common Council that there was no action to be taken tonight, since, after all, it was just a report. They weren't voting on whether to actually do anything. They were voting on whether to accept the report -- that is, acknowledge that a report existed.

Tru-worthy was unswayed.

"I stand opposed," he uttered. (Righteously.) "And I'd like a roll-call vote."

Capes all a-billow, our hero Democrats each opposed the report, despite its obvious existence, and made a stand for freedom, justice and not depleting the Fund Balance.

Tru-worthy, sensing that the evil lord genius of all (E.L.G.O.A., aka the mayor) was in a weakened state but not quite defeated, delivered the final blow: "I believe this was mismanagement."

Hissing (under his breath) and rolling his eyes (emphatically), E.L.G.O.A. kept his distance until Tru-worthy's time for discussion was over, said into the microphone "It's not double-dipping," then retreated to the next topic.

You may have had the last word this time, E.L.G.O.A., Tru-worthy's steely eyes said, steelily resolved. But next time, when I have my Majority Whip with me, you won't be so lucky...

To be continued in our next edition of Local City council...

Local Trivia: Knit note

Comment from "Knit or not?":

"JRT has left a new comment on your post "Local Trivia: Knit or not?":

Alicia... too funny! You are right. Bayberry Knitting's Grand Opening was a hoot! The place was overflowing with friends, customers and other guests, big shots and small shots...

I will let you in on a secret: the shop unfortunately is not open 24/7. There are periods when the store is closed. The shop hours are posted on its website bayberryknitting.com and checkout the blog while you're at it.

As to the store looking like it's completely empty, don't be tricked, Betty lowers a reflective shade in her storefront windows that blocks out the sun... taking a quick look from the outside, it probably will look empty but it is far from it. So, far the shop is a wild success..."


Well, this small shot is glad to hear it.

Local Trivia UPDATE: Local City still like E.T. game

In a plot twist anticipated by loyal moviegoers -- and Democrats -- the nefariousness of the Republican E.L.G.O.A. (aka mayor) has been revealed!

The $3 million deficit was the result not of the state reneging on promised education funds, but of bad budgeting by the mayor at the beginning of the year.

The mayor budgeted $72.5 million for education coming from the state, despite irrefutable evidence that the state would not allocate this much to Local City public education. Last year, the state gave $64 million. This year, the state raised that amount by what Our Hero Tru-worthy said was an unprecedented percent increase, to $70.

The fault, in other words, is in E.L.G.O.A.'s budget.

This is what O.H. Tru-worthy meant when he claimed mismanagement, and the source of the tiff during which one alderman was told to "rot in hell."

Indeed, this is like the inevitable scene where the supposed father-figure reveals himself to be the evil mastermind behind the "getting-rid-of-Our-Hero" plot the whole time. It happened in Ella Enchanted; it happened in Iron Man; it happened in Local City.

Sadly, unlike in the movies, blasting E.L.G.O.A. off the face of the earth (though reluctantly, and thus morally) or allowing him to be done in by his own poisonous ambition won't ameliorate the situation. O.H. Tru-worthy, sidekick Surewould and the rest of the band of merry aldermen are going to have to deal with this mess, almost certainly by extracting the funds from the Fund Balance account.

I guess that's the main difference between politics and action movies.

(I mean, Arnold is governor of California. What other differences could there still be?)

Local Trivia: Local libraries sponsor loiter-a-thon by local teens

There have been two teen boys loitering outside the Plainville Public Library three of the last four times I visited. Today there were two other teen boys loitering outside the Southington Public Library.

I'm beginning to wonder if this is part of the free services provided by libraries, now.

Local Trivia: Random books I got from the library and intend to read fully

Spaceman Blues: A Love Song by Brian Francis Slattery -- From the science fiction section, and written by a guy living (or who was living at time of publication) in New Haven, CT, this book seems short (219 pgs) and (unrelatedly) Pynchonesque, as it was described on the back cover. For me, this means it reads like a lot of really tiny vignettes strung together as the protagonist looks all over the place for a guy who mysteriously disappeared.

But there's promise of the apocalypse to come, so I'm sticking with it despite that it skiffs along over an ocean of material rather than diving in like my fave-book-of-all-time, Middlemarch. And since it's more than 500 pgs shorter than Middlemarch, I think it will be worth my time.

Pick it up if: you think the apocalypse is interesting (or on its way), but want to read about it in a new voice; you like Thomas Pynchon's Crying of Lot 49; you like the work of sci fi don Damon Knight, particularly his wry sense of humor and timing and the way his writing appears to goad Asimov's somehow; you can find it in your local library or think it sounds worth $5.18 (or $10 for the e-reader version); you like criminal procedurals like Law & Order, but wish they would sometimes be more creative.


Everything Matters! by Ron Currie, Jr. -- From the fiction section, written by a guy who'd won critical acclaim for his short story collection God Is Dead. The hyperbolic title is what made me pick this one up. Really? Everything? But the quick writing drew me in more deeply and immediately than Spaceman Blues, and intriguingly, it starts out in second person voice, which only one other novel I've read has done (A Prayer for the Dying by Stewart O'Nan). It shifts out of second person after the first chapter (much like Complicity by Iain Banks), but by then you're hooked.

Again about the apocalypse -- remember, I chose these at random and didn't choose any others, so perhaps it's a sign -- this book tells the story of a kid born knowing when the world would come to an end, who apparently then struggles to know what's worth doing, what's potentially history-changing, and what's significant, and what isn't any of those. I'm only a few chapters in, so I can't guarantee this, but my money is on the idea that what matters is "everything."

Pick it up if: you're intrigued by possible uses of second-person; you're intrigued by oracles, and their use in literature; you think the apocalypse is interesting (or on its way), but want to read about it in a new voice; you can find it at your library or think it might be worth $10.38 (hardcover); you're invested in stories of families, like The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, but are worried there aren't any other ways to tell a traditional story without being either Jonathan Franzen or extremely boring.


Absurdistan: A Novel by Gary Shteyngart -- On CD. I haven't listened to any of it yet, but who doesn't love a book on tape? They keep going through the boring parts, and you can listen to them in the car, if you've got a tape or CD player and you're not obsessed with Marc Maron's WTF podcast like one of us definitely is. (It's me. You should check him out.)

I picked up this book because it was on a featured display, and because I own (but like so many books, have not yet read) Shteyngart's The Russian Debutante's Handbook, which won awards, and interesting ones like the National Jewish Book Award for Fiction. It's 12 hrs long, but if the reader's any good (like Jim Dale for the Harry Potter books on CD, or Stephen Fry for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) that time will fly by. We'll see.

Pick it up if: you want to beat me in reading a book I seem to be recommending, because who knows when I'll get to it, and then possibly lord it over me; you're interested in either Leningrad, where Gary Shteyngart was born, or the comedy show Laugh In, where the reader Arte Johnson won his Emmy; if you're taking a long car ride; if you can find it at your local library or think it might be worth $24.49 through Audible (or $10-15 in book form).


*Also note that these reviews of books I either haven't read or have read bits of, contain recommendations of actual books I have read and enjoyed. Do what you will with that information. Let me know how it goes.

Local trivia: Three valves times five valves equals how much profit?

My elementary school had, as a "corporate partner," a local business: Skinner Valve.

Our school colors, green and white, were often combined with Skinner Valve's red and blue to represent our school.

I can remember changing the words to the (most-hated) song "Skinna-ma-rinki-dinki-dink" to "Skinner-ma...etc." in honor of Skinner Valve visitors. The lyrics go on to say "I love you."

Looking back, I have no idea why any of this was allowed, or even legal, or whether -- or how much -- money was involved.

It seems strange to me, but let me know, oh readers: did your elementary schools have corporate sponsors?

Local Trivia: Travel Center offering "steak"

Observed: Travel Center of America bilboard stating the local TA offers (and this is an exact quote):

"All you can eat" ribs

Our only consolation is that at least the ribs aren't "ribs."

Local Trivia: Unacceptable local parks

McLean Game Refuge, Granby (pond drained for erosion remediation)

Willow Street Park, New Britain (contaminated)

Local Trivia: In case you're looking for these things:

In an NPR written piece about the future(s) of books:

"Hardbound and paperback books may never totally disappear, but they could become scary scarce — like eight-track tapes, typewriters and wooden tennis rackets."

NPR obviously has never been to my local Goodwill, which has a surplus of all of these things -- an almost hilarious surplus of eight-track tapes, actually. I would also add "business textbooks from the 60s, exercise bikes, VHS tapes (and VCRs), countless novelty and business-logo'ed mugs, and at least one piece of every china pattern ever made."

These things are not scarce at all. In fact, they're all concentrated in almost overwhelming abundance in Salvation Army stores and Goodwills across the nation. Just ask the guys who collect Jerry Maguire video tapes.

Those guys know what's out there.

Local Trivia: Acapulco

The Acapulco Restaurant, in downtown New Britain, CT, may be part of a chain. If it is, they disguise this by having exactly the same amenities and decor that they would have if they were an independently-operated restaurant with owners who didn't care at all about amenities, or decor. It's more likely that they're actually independent, rather than that they made sure to incorporate all the pitfalls and none of the local-color-benefits of an independent restaurant into their franchise plan.

Either way, Acapulco is the only place I've been to in central CT that serves goat tacos.

Yum.

Local Trivia: Good local parks

Norton Park, Plainville

Walnut Hill, New Britain

Willow Brook, New Britain

Local Trivia: In which I become obsessed with headstones (predictably)

Lately I've been touring cemeteries in search of letterboxes related to some actual, practical artisans of colonial times -- that is, the guys who carved the lunettes at the tops of colonial (and post-colonial) tombstones.

One letterboxer in particular includes in the clues a side-trip through the old cemeteries he plants his stamps in, to view the work (gravestone-carving work) of particular artisans, and tells you a bit about each artist in the process. It's that combination of historical detail and actual, real-life experience (of the art, in this case) that makes for grade A letterboxing, in my opinion.

That letterboxer has definitely piqued my interest in wandering through ye olde cemeteries -- if you're the morose, Byronic sort, you might also get a kick out of this kind of stuff (a kick into the wind, that is, in reaction to the futility of life and the meaningless of passion and emotion in the face of that futility -- and yet you can't NOT kick, because what if some attractive women are watching, and how will they know you're thinking such deep thoughts otherwise: a Byronic kick, in other words), and so I offer you a bit of tids here. (Not just one tidbit, but a few.)

A lunette is the semi-circular part of the tops of vertical tombstones. (See more info on the parts of gravestones here.) You can see an example of an hourglass lunette here (because I took this picture of it):


This stone is from Mount Feake Cemetery in Waltham, MA and memorialized George Barker Pope and Sarah Mason Pope, both born in 1842. I'm planning on putting a letterbox version of this image nearby in the cemetery, as part of my letterboxing internship. (More on that later.)

This particular stone, as a(nother) clever blogger better informed than me pointed out, is somewhat rare, as the winged hourglass usually shows up as part of the lunette image but not the entire thing. I was less impressed with the rarity when I found that it was, like the stone mentioned by said other clever blogger, not a colonial-era stone, but crafted in the early twentieth century in a "colonial revival" age of tombstonery. (Sarah died in 1929, George in 1899.)

On the other hand, this stone and others like it, with that old-tyme-but-updated feel, certainly seems better to me than some of the contemporary gravestones I've seen: one shaped like a snare drum, one with a VW Beetle carved in relief, one with a long-haired guitar player depicted on the top. It's a bit like seeing a graveyard for hippies, but more "camp" than that.

At any rate, I imagine in 200 years someone's going to come across the long-haired guitarist, or the VW stone, and feel they've won the jackpot of tombstones. I wish I could know whether people in the early 1900's thought the "colonial revival" stones seemed pretentious and tacky.

In the meantime, I might wander Byronically around local cemeteries, seeming (but not being) pretentious and tacky.

Local Trivia, Accusations edition: Stupid Ap-man*

*I've deleted a key letter from this person's trail name, in case he ever Googles himself...because I suspect that that's the kind of person he is.

There's a fellow letterboxer who started before me who cannot spell; this is important because the way to find clues to the box you're looking for is to read them online. He often capitalizes random words in the middle of sentences and believes that every time an 's' ends a word, an apostrophe should come before it.

He sometimes writes clues on how to get to the letterbox "in character"...which is one case is "as a caveman," i.e. "Ooh, ooh, ooh, wood, walk, walk, wood, ooh, ooh, ooh, what's this hard thing?"...which could mean you're supposed to walk over a wooden walkway, then walk for awhile, then find a large stone behind which is the letterbox, but how would one know that? How??

One of his clues says to "go diagonal from the brown building." This is not a direction -- "diagonal" is not north, south, east, west, left or right, up or down; you can't "go" it.

That is not a clue, Ap-man.

Add to these offenses that Ap-man often puts his letterboxes nearby other letterboxers' letterboxes, which is taboo and considered very rude.

He sometimes plants store-bought stamps instead of homemade ones, which is considered kind of low-class unless you're a four-year-old.

Add to that that he has planted over 100 boxes, and all radiating out from Local Town, where I live, so that I almost can't go on a letterboxing hunt without attempting to find at least one of his ill-clued boxes, and you'll begin to see why I can't help ranting about this guy. He's terrible, and inescapable.

Every area has a Goofus for letterboxing Gallants to deal with. I guess as a neurotic, OCD-tending, poison-ivy-phobic, fastidious and nerdy letterboxer, I just wish he didn't seem so carefree and optimistic, assuming he wasn't stepping on anyone's toes, assuming everyone would be glad to find his hidden treasures, scattering boxes wherever he goes like a Johnny Appleseed for rubber stamps.

Local Trivia: Awesome local parks

Hubbard Park, Meriden

Sleeping Giant State Park, Hamden

Local Trivia: So THAT'S how that happens.

About two weeks ago, I was driving up a local road when a squirrel ventured out, crossing by fits and starts the way squirrels in that neighborhood always do. (I've also seen the "mad dash" method in other areas, but never on this high-squirrel-mortality street.)

As I got closer, I noticed he had one of those tiny, perfectly formed gourd pumpkins in his mouth, probably from someone's porch -- which, when I honked the horn, he promptly dropped exactly in the middle of the road before running off. I guess it was just too much of a liability to risk trying to carry it the rest of the way, what with the car barreling down on him at 12 mph. Probably a good call.

If I were this tiny pumpkin's owner, I would have been mystified to find my little gourd set perfectly on the yellow line somewhere down the street.

But now if it ever happens to one of us, dear readers, we'll know how.

Local Trivia: Decent local parks

Martha Hart Park, New Britain

Stanley Quarter Park, New Britain

Local Trivia: There's a nest of them.

Today I paid $2.97 for gas in Farmington, CT.

There were a few gas stations pricing their lowest-grade gas under $3, all in the same area; a Mobil station even went down to $2.99, while all other Mobil stations I saw today ranged from $3.09 to $3.29. When I passed by the Citgo I'd turned around to stop at after seeing the price, a few hours later, the price was down to $2.95.

What is this -- an ultra-local gas tax plan? Are these stations sitting on a hidden derrick or something? Does a member of the Saudi royal family live in the area, or is the Mike Tyson/50 cent mansion's presence enough, somehow, to drive down gas prices?

And why Farmington, of all places?

They have enough money to pay full price.