Friday, January 8, 2010

PSQ: Modern-day gods

P.C. and I somehow ended up in a discussion the other day about modern-day Roman/Greek/Norse god equivalents, as we drove up I-84 and he mocked the potential traffic-jam that is Hartford at 5 p.m.

I superstitiously flailed about and rebuffed him for tempting the traffic gods to punish us with a serious jam on I-91, which we were switching over to just following his declaration of jam-less victory, and wondered who he would have to apologize to to get us out of this potential mess.

I decided it might be Poseiden, the god of the sea who (when ship transport was fast, efficient and common) used to preside over the main long-distance transportation routes, and named the slightly lower-level (middle-management) god of Interstates, almost certainly under Poseiden's jurisdiction, "Highwayden."

But of course, this begs the question: what other neo-Roman gods might we need these days?

Tell me what we need specific gods for, and I'll see what I can do about directing you to the modern god who "does that."

1 comment:

00JB said...

I spent some time on I-84 and I-91 this weekend (surprisingly not terrible). In spite of the relatively light vehicular volume in CT, I STRONGLY believe we need a ruthless demi-god that will not hesitate to strike down a driver who fails to use his/her blinker. Particularly, the heinous offenders who will cut you off w/out using a blinker in bumper-to-bumper traffic, but then signal a lane change when they're 100 hundred yards in front of you with absolutely no cars around them at all. Flippin' people.

Also, we need a similar demi-god to patrol supermarkets in order to keep the aisles clear. I'm tired of the people who, after years of buying food in grocery stores (I'm assuming it's years since they're still alive and do not appear wanting), STILL park their carts in the middle of an aisle. In addition, this demi-god should also be responsible for keeping conversations between old acquaintances at a minimum. I don't care if you haven't seen each other in months. I don't care what your kids are doing now or that your dog just had a, "minor procedure." Call each other on the phone or use e-mail. Please don't stop right next to each other in an aisle and catch up for 10 minutes. Finally, instant death to those pushing and pulling two shopping carts through the aisles simultaneously.