Local Trivia, Waltham: Unsanitary napkin (horror)

Well, the maxipad that had been just down the block on Charles St. for the last two months, being slowly (very slowly...creepily slowly) degraded by natural elements (people would avoid stepping on it, of course, and so rain and dirt would accumulate and dissipate), down to the least natural portions (a piece of plastic), is finally gone.

After awhile, it lost the sense of bioterror that it had held originally, but as it just refused to disappear, and no one cleaned it up, it gained a new kind of horror -- like a zombie that won't be killed, it had lost any sense of humanness and gained a pseudo-life of its own.

Nobody misses it, of course, but I think most of us still step around the area where it used to be.

Local Trivia: But "j" is just as rare as "z"...

Observed on a sign made with one of those spell-by-letter kits, outside a pizza place:

"Pops pijja now open."

PSA: That's how I was raised...

I get to work with this guy in an independent study next term.

Awesome.

PSA: Guide to Guys

What I think is most interesting about this article is not so much that the website was quoted in the NYTimes, and not so much the advice in it, but the fact that there is no corresponding "Guide to Gals" for men to read.

It's almost as if the authors are subtly hinting that one of the gender differences they're proposing is that women will want to read an article about what men are thinking, but that men wouldn't care to read its equivalent. And perhaps it's the most valid one. (That might sound sarcastic, but it's not.)

Guys? Any thoughts? (Don't get too "emotionally overloaded" attempting to answer, please.)

PSA: Bigot defends marriage

From the AP: Keith Barwell, justice of the peace, refuses to perform the marriage ceremony of an interracial couple. Here are the excuses he gives:

"Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

'I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way,' Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. 'I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.'

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said."

He says he's concerned for the children that might come from an interracial marriage, and that they won't be accepted by either black or white communities.

Here are some better possible excuses for this guy, just off the top of my head:

Maybe Bardwell has never followed up on any of the same-race marriages he's performed, and so doesn't know that about half of ALL marriages end in divorce.

Maybe he doesn't know that people are still physically able to have children even when they're not married.

Maybe he's never, ever thought that it might be attitudes like his that cause children born of interracial couples to have more trouble than other kids.

Maybe it's never occurred to him that his attitudes are exactly the sort that might unduly strain the relationship of an interracial couple, possibly causing eventual break-up.

As far as how he comports himself and speaks in public, maybe he's never been told that using the term "piles and piles" for his black friends implies that he's somehow put them all in a giant heap in his backyard, and that this is bad.

Maybe he doesn't know that not believing "in mixing races that way" is almost the textbook definition of "racist."

Maybe he should check up on how many of those couples he lets use his bathroom after they let him marry them are actually puking their guts out in there.

I'm betting it's not a question of whether he'd ever marry a (same-race) same-sex couple -- though one would almost expect this guy to decide to only marry homosexuals, citing the fact that he doesn't believe "in mixing sexes that way."

That might actually make some sense.

Local Trivia: Quarter life crisis

Well, I'm out of quarters. Betty's ashtray stood me in good stead for awhile, but thanks to multiple toll charges (the Hamilton Fish's $1.00 and $1.75 to get P.C. through the Mass Pike), her supply has run out.

Still, I've been getting awesome things from the Pizza Hut quarter machine lately. Since the re-up that brought us "monkey standing on its head" and "monkey sitting" as well as more of the classic "lounging monkey," I haven't gotten up to the monkey strata of quarter machine treasures -- but I have found some other gems.

For example:

Smiley-face head guy holding basketball at hip

Alien doing karate: high side kick

Alien doing karate: holding bo

Game with two tiny rings and two tiny nubs on which to catch them

Tiny manga-inspired blue penguin


I hope your quarter machine luck has been just as good.

PSA: Some cow band names

Cream

Cud Copy

Def Heiffer'd

Greenhay

Miami Moosic Machine

Moodonna

Mootallica

New Udder

PSA: RR09

Roomie Reunion 2009 is this weekend -- so sorry, fan, but I'll be AWOL.

Unless you give me leave, in which case I'll just be A.

PSA: Obama Peace Prize

Well, President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize...mainly because he saved America from the violence of the rest of the world's so-far-mainly-theoretical hatred of us.

That's what he should say to Americans who ask what he's actually accomplished in office so far.

PSA: Inappropriate Glee

The name of the glee club in the new TV show Glee is "New Directions."

Say it to yourself out loud a few times. (But not in public.)

I'm just sayin'.

Local Trivia: Found in the Pizza Hut parking lot, Friday 10/2, and consumed by one man

2 40's of malt liquor (1 half full)
1 bottle of brandy (empty)
1 green beer bottle (shattered)
1 brown beer bottle (empty)

PSA: Great moments of fatherly acceptance in the scripted media

Ordinary People, whole movie

Billy Elliot, when his father realizes dance is Billy's future

Glee, "Preggers" (Season 1 Episode 4), when his father cheers for him after making the game-winning field goal, and then later when he comes out to said father, who says "I've know since you were three...I love you just the same" with the conviction of a man who watches Deadliest Catch.

PSA: Pests and the City

Looking at the singularly universal "sign of mice" left on the corner of my couch yesterday, I couldn't help but wonder: Were mice made for the sole purpose of turning food into poop?

I mean, it seems like every single place a mouse goes, it leaves poop -- like the instant they stop moving, they're bound to leave something behind. Why is this? Why don't mice have times in between bowel movements? Do they not have bowels? Maybe it's just a straight chute in there.

Maybe poop is the equivalent of mouse graffiti, like an "I was here" statement. But it doesn't seem to be marking territory, unless mice have a need to claim every territory they've ever set foot on.

Thoughts are welcome, but I understand if it's too gross to contemplate long.

PSA: "Slap Bet"

Yes. A.

I'd post the paper here, but I'm worried about plagiarism.

But I'd be happy to entertain any thoughts on how to thwart it (plagiarism) if you're interested in reading it (the paper).